While Santa was out delivering presents to all the good girls and boys, George Bush was causing more global warming by heating up things at the North Pole with Mrs. Santa.

G'night, Laura-Poo.

G'night, Little ChimpyMcBurtonHitler.

After a rough day of screaming and flinging feces, Al Franken likes nothing better than to kiss and make up with Michelle Malkin...
In his dreams, anyway.

If you think chewing up food and feeding orangutans by mouth is bad, you should have heard the public outcry when the trainers were still breastfeeding them.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, martinis, and dessert for Bonzo.

The new method for inducing vomiting proved a wild success

Although her memory of events the night before remained a blur, she felt it was the least she could do to ease the tension of finding themselves awaking next to each other that following morning.

Their romance blossomed not by design or chance, but instead seemed to gradually evolve from some vague sense of having a deeply shared commonality.

Jane: Forget ol' muscle brained Tarzan...Cheetah, you da' man!

Damn, she's still human.

Hugh Hefner's new video goes way beyond "spanking the monkey".

It was just a slip of the tongue.

Politics: A giant game of Suck and Blow.

Tonight on fear factor women will be asked to kiss a Al Franken wearing a Santa hat, Ling Wu was the first too pass the test before she was rushed to the hospital, will the others survive..

welcome to Dick Clarks Christmas and new years special for the year 2020, in case you just joined us Dick (who was cloned into a monkey) just kissed Margret Cho the 5th to kick off the party.. coming up next Hugh Heffners lizard cloned version and his latest identical octuplet girlfriends, see folks we told you crazy people in the 20th century that cloning would be good...

In the new version of King Kong, the ape has obesity surgery and a little work around the eyes. Oh yeah, and they live happily ever after.

With the lastest paparrazi shot by STAREnquirer magazine, a closeup of Mrs. Claus and Happy, the baby-newyear. Thousands of Kos-sites were then reported of committed suicide afterwards, fearing the good luck of Dubya in yet another Chimp year.

Monkey to Mrs. Claus. "I hope it was as good for you as it was for me babe. The milk and banana cookies were certainly tastey."