"Well, Dick, I get to swear today."

Tired of the constant questions surrounding his health, the vice president helps swear in his new clone.

"My wife is here or I'd beat you at your own swearing game, Dick."

"You got the bookmark to that 'Jawbone of an ass' bit, don't you?"

Nothing looks more stupid than a white guy waiting for a high-five.

Cheney: So is there a reason you are using a "Bad Girls of the Bible and What We Can Learn from Them" for this swearing in, instead of a King James Edition there pal?

Especially with your wife here.

(and yes it's a real book. :-p)

Same suit. Same glasses. Same haircut. Maybe if I always hold my hand up, people will be able to tell us apart.

Uh, Pat your fly is open, I swear. Been taking my advice?

Dick:
I am Dick
Dick I am
I'll watch your swearing in, Dick-I-am

Pat:
Do not Say
F--- off and Damn
I do not like that, Dick-I-am

Dick:
I will not curse you
in the house.
I will not curse you
by your spouse.
I will not say Damn
here or there.
I do not say F--- off
anywhere.
I do not say
F--- off and Damn.
I do not say them,
Dick-I-am.
(underbreath: "So take that A--h---")

Leahy:Honest Injun Dick, I will never block another appointee...
Dick:Good deal Pat, cuz if you do, I swear you'll lose that hand.

Repeat after me - Go F--k Yourself!

Cheney: "Now repeat after me: I, Patrick Leahy..."

Leahy: "I, Patrick Leahy..."

Cheney: "...do solemnly swear..."

Leahy: "...do solemnly swear..."

Cheney: "...that I will faithfully execute the office..."

Leahy: "...that I will faithfully execute the office..."

Cheney: "...of Vice President Big Dick Cheney's beeyotch..."

Leahy: "...of Vice President Big Dick Cheney's -- hey, wait a minute!"

At Patrick's most recent swearing in,
He flashed Dick quite a big glaring grin,
And said with a smirk
"You're a neanderthal jerk,
And in '08 with Hill' and Obama we'll win!"

Dick swore in the dickhead named Pat,
Then swore at him and called his wife FAT.
She said with a sneer,
"Cause yer built like a steer,
I forgive you for being a brat!"

Marcelle - "Dick, Pat, both of you need to rub this Bible some and then rub your bald heads. I put some Rogaine on it. And Pat, you need to raise your right hand and slap Dick for his potty mouth."

Dick - "Marcelle, go f*ck yourself and Pat you a**hole, don't use it all up!"

In a move that shocked Democrats into inadvertent confirmation, George W. Bush nominated former Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Terry Bradshaw as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

"Do you, Dick, take this man, Patrick to be you lawfully wedded husband?"

Peter, Paul and Mary use a prop and dramatics but no guitars while singing, 'Who Wrote The Book Of Love.'"

Cheney: "Big Time."

Leahy: "..."

Cheney: "Say it, Pat."

Leahy: *sigh* "Big Time."

Vice President Dick Cheney looks on as the Bible begins to sizzle and burn when Senator Leahy lays his hand on it during his swearing in ceremony.

Swearing in. A whole new light, huh Mr. VP?

Oh helk. Rodney won. I laughed until I
cried, and that was at all of the captions,
but Mr. Dill's put that asthmatic wheeze into
it.

My attempt:

"Your suit is off the rack, isn't it?"

"Dick, you barbarian, tell it to the hand."

Cheney - Hey, that's not a Bible...why are you swearing on "Living History", you dumb f**k?

Leahy - You serve your god, I'll serve mine, you twisted a**hole!!

Thanks Cricket