Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Monday, April 25, 2005

The That’ll Leave a Mark Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

Photo: Denis Sinyakov/AFP/Getty Images

The Winners

First: Crerar - That’s a nice trick seargent Baalzadropov – but what did you do with the pylon?

Second: Laurence Simon - They haven’t yet built the combat robot that can do this

Third: Oski - While normally viewed as an asset in arid climates, Pvt. Splitovski a.k.a. the human divining rod, embarrassed his fellow troops when they marched on the rain soaked parade grounds.

Honorable Mention:

Timmer - The kids from Chernobyl strut their stuff.

Scott P - Soldiers watch a demonstration of the latest Field Medical Directive: How to alleviate “Soldier’s Itch.”

Cassandra - Despite intense mentoring, Private Pushkin continued to demonstrate considerable confusion as to the meaning of the term “balls-to-the-wall”.

LJD - Russians prove the viability of gays in the military: In an effort to save his comrades, Ivan drops on a grenade. . .

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

“Oh by the way, the commissary is stocked with toilet paper again.”

The Russian Military Chorus never looked forward to a Head-of-State visit from the U.S.A. as special preparations were needed to hit the high notes during the obligatory singing of the Star Spangled Banner.

The Monday contest has already started.

UPDATE: Wizbang has announced their winner for the same picture. (I picked the Thursday-Monday, Monday-Thursday cycle for a reason). Villainous Company still has a contest with the same picture open.

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Thursday, April 21, 2005

The Matzoh Western Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

I would’ve sworn when I started this contest that some reference to a Clint Eastwood western would’ve taken first, until I started reading the entries . . .

(AFP/David Furst)

The Winners

First: Brandon Jaynes - It’s been 40 years; do you know where the hell you’re leading us, or are you just wandering around?

Second: Cyberludite - “Say, Saul, why are we the only ones following this Roadmap to Peace?”

Third: Norm Emerson - “Land of Milk and Honey”? . . . “We really have to re-think our intelligence gathering system”!!

Honorable Mention:

David Harris - The “Hassidic Minutemen” head off for their morning patrol.

Laurence Simon - “With the blowing of the shofar, the graveyard shift at the quarry crawls out of the Matzoh Mines.”

Alex Knapp - “Dude, I thought you told me there were going to be some shiskas. This is a total sausage fest!”

TeaFizz - “Dude, where’s my car?”

Busby Bixley - Which Way To Mecca

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

Two Matzoh for Sister Sara

A Fist Full of Matzoh

For a Few Matzoh More

It was later determined that the Matzoh Western genre would’ve become nearly as popular as the old spaghetti westerns if the producers
hadn’t chosen to pass off Hebrew as Speaking Indian
“Ma Nishma?”
“Hakol B’seder”

The imposter had nearly won the 23Rd annual Jewish spelling bee, until that final, fateful word.
“OK, now the word to spell is Shibboleth”

“Dude, Where’s my promised land?”

The new Village People perform their rendition of Matzoh man

“I must follow the people, am I not their leader” - Benjamin Disraeli

The Thursday contest has already started.

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• By Any Other Name…
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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Monday, April 18, 2005

The Texas Standoff Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

here’s the way I see it.

(AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

The Winners

First: Silicon Valley Jim - These French fellas are takin’ a while to get the hang of rock-paper-scissors.

Second: wavemaker - Principals of The New World Order re-enact Michaelangelo’s “Creation of Adam.”

Third: John Henke - “This Intelligence stuff is easy”, Bush thought, “just pull Chirac’s finger, and I can finally find out what happened to Saddams biological weapons. How could it possibly go wrong?” And yet, it did go wrong.
On the bright side, however, Jacque Chirac won 20 Euros off every other member of the EU.

Honorable Mention:

Loon - It was at that precise moment that the president realised that neither of them had any notion of how a light sabre should be operated.

Laurence Simon - In Europe, they call it “Push my finger.”

The Man - I’m With Stupid

Crerar - Which one of you boys wants to commit troops to Iraq?

The Monday contest has already started.

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

“Draw, OK, Chirac you won two out of three, You’re the fastest wienie in the west.”

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• By Any Other Name…
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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Thursday, April 14, 2005

The No Sympathy for the Devil Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

A lot of good entries, but here’s the way I see it.

(Eric Draper, The White House/Reuters)

The Winners

First: Laurence Simon - Don’t do what they did in Florida in 2000 with that butterfly ballot staggered list thing. Line up both sides of the ballot evenly and you won’t be waiting two months to get the next pope in office.

Second: Gary and the Samoyeds - So then the Popemobile tries to cut over to pass on the right, but I had my driver cut him off.

Third: Crerar - I swear to God – that bishop over there deliberately bumped me from behind like this.

Honorable Mention:

Rachel Edith - “So, I am trying hard not to appear anxious or interested but I think these qualifications I’ve set out here leave you no choice but to vote for me in the upcoming conclave.”

Anderson - Okay, so my left hand is the altar boy, and my right hand is the priest … now, say again what happens next?

Confederate Yankee - So even though you guys wear those little beanies, you aren’t Jewish? How’s that again?

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

Swapping tales of dogfights and fighting evil in general.

“… and you say I’ll get to wear one of those spiffy beanies if I sign up?”

“Are you really sure its OK for us to be discussin’ animal husbandry?”

“And now your $10 has disappeared. . ., say this may help the US economy, how many of you fella’s did you say there was.”

“That church music is pretty good, but I like Marilyn Manson myself.”

The Thursday contest has already started.

• None Found

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Monday, April 11, 2005

The Head for the Border Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

The Winners:

(AFP/File/Hector Mata)

First: Patrick Carver - CAUTION: Silhouette Crossing

Second: Brandon Jaynes - The newest solution coming from the Minuteman project reminds drivers to use caution when aiming for families of illegals, because they can sometimes run really fast.

Third: TeaFizz - Next, on Family Fear Factor: The highway-crossing competition!

Honorable Mention:

Laurence Simon - “Reinforce Your Front Bumper And Floor It”

Maggie - Prosecuters are considering posting a sign like this one outside Neverland.

Kenny - Everyone scatter! Here comes Rather. And he’s got documents!

The Monday contest has already started.

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

Eventually the only sanction against Michael Jackson was the placement of this sign at the entrance to NeverLand Ranch.

Caution: Liberals escaping to Canada

I spy something that starts with an “M”

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• Blogs of War linked with Terrorist UAVs, Video iPods, Frodo Unveils XBOX 2, the Asian Century, Raining Thrust Reversers, NASA TV, Life, the Universe, and Everything

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Thursday, April 7, 2005

The Insane Clown Posse Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

REUTERS/Goran Tomasevic

The Winners

First: Eric - There’s a reason kids are scared of clowns

Second: The Dread Pundit Bluto - Ahmed came to regret telling Mahmoud that he would “do anything Allah wills” to help finance the Jihad.

Third: Elisson - Mahmoud Abbas announced today that Hamas and the Al-Aqsa Martyr’s Brigades have accepted the conditions laid down by the Palestinian Authority for a “kinder, gentler Intifada. . .with clowns!” Details on the planned Palestinian Petting Zoo are also expected to be released shortly.

Honorable Mention:

Laurence Simon - “No Syrian Intelligence Agents here, little Lebanese boy. Just clowns. Happy, heavily-armed clowns ready to martyr themselves for Allah.”

Literally Retarded - In a single moment, Sally determined to run for Congress.

Brandon Jaynes - The new NRA marketing plan, targeting the 3-8 age group, has been a huge success.

The Monday contest has already started.

More Below the fold

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

Who you calling a Bozo, Kid?

Clown: “Squeeze my red clown nose.”
Girl: “But that’s not your nose.”

Guns don’t kill people, Clowns kill people.

AP BREAKING - In late breaking news today, the World Clown Hall of Fame concluded that Emmett Kelly is no longer the world’s saddest clown.

“Yea, I’m ‘fraid of clowns, but I’m more ‘fraid of Santa, he carries an RPG Launcher.”

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• Blog d'Elisson linked with Another Useless Talent

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Monday, April 4, 2005

The RumScout Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

(DoD photo by Tech. Sgt. Cherie A. Thurlby, U.S. Air Force.)

The Winners

First: Donald Sensing - What’s the difference between Congress and the Cub Scouts? The Scouts have adult leadership.

Second: Kenny - “You go to war with the scouts you have … say … some journalist didn’t put you up to asking that question did they young feller?”

Third: Laurence Simon - Relax, kids. I’ve only got animal porn on my computer.

Honorable Mention:

Maggie - Nothing makes my day more than seeing MEN IN UNIFORM!

RKrak - Where are the hookers you promised?

LJD - Rumsfelt issues biological weapons alert after cub scout farts at press conference.

The Monday contest has already started.

More Below the fold

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

“what Troop are you with?”

“Don’t you have to be a priest to do that?”

“You’re only here ’cause we couldn’t get Michael Jackson.”

“My dad can beat up your dad.”

“I love the smell of Mosquito Repellent in the morning, it smells like victory.”

“Sock-o Mock-o?”

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Friday, April 1, 2005

The Bushrat Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

The Winners

First: Rodney Dill - President Bush pondered why all the photographers seemed to want to set up in the same spot for the Dan Rather retirement dinner.

Second: Rodney Dill - Edmund was disappointed that he couldn’t also fit the word fink into the picture

Third: Rodney Dill - Redneck Association of Texas

The Thursday contest has already started.

Pictures of Donald Rumsfeld being dismembered under the fold

…And the Real Winners are …

The #@%$*%@ I Broke a Nail Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

CHINA OUT REUTERS/China Newsphoto

The Winners

First: Maggie - Discussion was fast and furious at the ASL convention held in Atlantic City earlier this week. and
Desperate Democrats have come up with a new solution to “show of hands” votes in the Congress.
(Fortunately there are enough fingers to keep track of Maggie’s entries)

Second: bithead - The photographer’s cover picture for the classic book “A Farewell to Arms” didn’t quite meet the publisher’s expectations.

Third:(tie) McGehee - What is the sound of 40 hands clapping?
Third:(tie) MHKing - Meet Lady Speed Stick’s number one customer. . .

Honorable Mention:

Maniakes - The New York Yankees have announced their starting pitcher for the opening game of the season. In a surprise move, they’re going with the 28 year old 40-hander. . .

Myopist - “And this is Agent Kanya, 007. As you might have guessed, hand-to-hand combat is one of her specialities. . .”

yetanotherjohn - “oooh! oooh! Pick me! Teacher, Pick me!”

Joyse - May I have a show of hands please? Do we or don’t we have nuclear arms?

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

“Whaddya mean it makes my palms grow hair?”

AP BREAKING - Former President Bill Clinton is coming out with a new line of furniture. The chair pictured here is called “The Intern.”

Palm Sunday

The eye’s have it

The Detroit Lions try out a receiver they feel can’t possibly drop the football.

Kim Jong-Il makes provisions against the disarming of North Korea

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