Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Monday, May 16, 2005

The Kurt and Rod Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

(AFP/Timothy A. Clary)

The Winners

First: Rachel Edith - “Liked the line, shape, form, value, space, color and texture. And rather liked the bulge.”

Second: John Burgess - “Never a cop around when you need one? Keep a spare or two and be confident!” FOP ad in the AARP Journal.

Third: The Man - The introduction of the TV show COPS on the Sundance Channel was met with mixed reviews.

Honorable Mention:

McGehee - “I may not know much about art, but I know what I like. And I don’t like this.”

Jufray - dat RODNEY KING be one bad ass artiste.

Maniakes - Protect a little old lady? We can do that standing on our heads!

The Man - Yeah this shift sucks, but at least we don’t work at Newsweek.

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

“Phhht … Pamela Anderson, nothing, I’ve got bigger boobs than her. They’re hanging over there on the wall.”

What do you call two cops hanging on the wall, usually by a window? (you figure it out)

The Monday contest has already started.

About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Thursday, May 12, 2005

The …But We Invented it First Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

(AP Photo/Amr Nabil)

The Winners

First: The Man - One of these two is a relic of a failed system, the other is missing a nose.

Second: Hermoine - “I broke it off, but … as you can see I have raised my right hand and I will give the Scout’s Honor or recite the Pledge of Allegiance (sans the ‘under God’ part) or slap myself in the face … whatever … just don’t make me go back to Crawford, Texas again.”

Third: Brandon Jaynes - I broke it off, but since I’m not the leader of a democracy, I don’t have to answer to you!

Honorable Mention:

Brian J. - “Ooh, ooh, I know! Man! For he crawls on all fours as a child, walks upright as an adult, and then uses a cane in old age,” Putin answered, oddly enough, on Mother’s Day.

John - All Hail King PUT!!

Kenny - Vlad couldn’t qualify at home, so he searched out abroad before finally landing an appearance on Egyptian Idol.

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

“OK, I broke it off, but more importantly, I saved $187.00 with GEICO.”

woo hoo - woo hoo hoo
woo hoo - woo hoo hoo
woo hoo - woo hoo
woo hoo - woo hoo hoo

“I didn’t break it off, but I saw that Rodney Dill did.”

The (much harder) Monday contest has already started.

About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.

• None Found

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• McCain Working for Dollars, Not Votes?
• Hillary Clinton Buys 2012 Website!!
• Conservatives for Obama II
• McCain Collects Social Security
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I hate to admit I posess this knowledge but---the "woohoo" tune quoted here is for Vonage Telcom coomercials, not Geico.

Posted by JW | May 13, 2005 | 12:30 pm | Permalink

 

The bottom of the barrel was meant to be read as three separate captions. The Vonage commercials always mentions 'people do stupid things,' (like breaking of the nose of the sphinx) so I threw out the "woo hoo's" to make people think of that.

At least somebody is reading down to the bottom of the post ;)

Posted by Rodney Dill | May 13, 2005 | 01:26 pm | Permalink

 

Vonage is currently using that noise... though a few months ago, at least two orgs were using it in spots seen here in Rochester... though I don't recall who the other was.

Posted by bithead | May 13, 2005 | 04:46 pm | Permalink

 

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Monday, May 9, 2005

The Tons of Fun Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

A lot of funny entries for this one.

(Associated Press)

The Winners

First: Jufray - “SIMON COWELL luv me long time.”
Developing . . .

Second: Joe R. the Unabrewer - Thailand attempts to eliminate its status as a sex tourist destination; renames capital Paonkeik.

Third: Bithead - Oh, no… she’s gonna SING

Honorable Mention:

Alex Knapp - See what happens when you start opening McDonald’s in Asia?

Dodd - Ratings for CBS’ twelfth annual “A Very Special Bill Clinton Birthday Party” were lower than in previous years.

The Man - Next on Fox: Who Wants to Marry Michael Moore

Hodink - It was the upcoming lap dance segment that terrified Dan.

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

Movie Remake Hell
The movie TRON remade as JUMBOTRON

Miss ComonIwannalaya, who eventually won the Miss Volcano pageant, had this bio. “I’m hot, steamy, and ready to blow at any minute.” (these ARE labeled “bottom of the barrel” for a reason)

Several years, and a number of pounds, later Lyndie went on to star in, Abu Ghraib, the musical.

The Monday contest has already started.

About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.

• None Found

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• 100 Most Influential Slogans
• McCain Working for Dollars, Not Votes?
• Hillary Clinton Buys 2012 Website!!
• Conservatives for Obama II
• McCain Collects Social Security
• Heller Denied D.C. Gun Permit
• Caption Contest Winners
• Bob Barr Conference Call
• California to Ban Trans Fats, Needs Schwarzenegger Signature

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Thursday, May 5, 2005

The Pull My Tail Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

(Associated Press)

The Winners

First: Laurence Simon - “I don’t care if he sold us a BILLION barrels of oil a day. The man grabbed my hand and kissed me, dammit.”

Second: Jay Tea - “Plant that tree faster, dammit! I don’t know how much longer I can hold it!”

Third: Sgt Fluffy - I’ll tell ya he’s small, but damn! he craps like a horse!

Honorable Mention:

McGehee - “We’re gonna need more pooper scoopers. And Barney, no more eating all of Helen Thomas’ bran muffins. Bad dog!”

Jay Tea - “…and here is where we found Helen Thomas after Barney tried to bury her. It’s not his fault—she really does look and smell dead to a dog.”

Steven L. - “. . . and so we put it here, next to John Kerry’s presidential hopes.”

Best Monty Python Ripoff

Maniakes
“I just spend four hours burying the dog.”
“Four hours to bury a dog?!”
“Well, he wouldn’t keep still. He kept wriggling about, howling.”
“He’s not dead then.”
“Yes, but he’s not at all a well dog, and since I’m going to be away for a week I thought I better bury him just to be on the safe side.”
“Oh, yes. Don’t want to come home from a summit meeting to a dead dog.”

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

“What’s wrong with you Secret Service guys, you don’t know how to use a shovel? you keep burying Barney, but he keeps digging his way back out.”

“…and whenever I leave a big mess on his carpet, he rubs my nose in it.

“Hmmm, this reporter has been interviewing terrorists, I smell lamb shwarma on the mike.”

George: “Gentlemen, our energy crisis is over. It was Barney right there that discovered oil under the White House.”

The Thursday contest has already started.

About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.

• None Found

• OTB Latenight - The Clash
• 100 Most Influential Slogans
• McCain Working for Dollars, Not Votes?
• Hillary Clinton Buys 2012 Website!!
• Conservatives for Obama II
• McCain Collects Social Security
• Heller Denied D.C. Gun Permit
• Caption Contest Winners
• Bob Barr Conference Call
• California to Ban Trans Fats, Needs Schwarzenegger Signature

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I felt like mine was more of a bottom of the barrel, but I'll take first. BOOYAH!

Posted by Laurence Simon | May 5, 2005 | 10:07 pm | Permalink

 

Wow, a new award category, just for me!

*blushes*

Posted by Maniakes | May 6, 2005 | 12:31 am | Permalink

 

OK, I've discovered the secret formula to winning Rodney's contests: use some form of the word "damn" in your entry.

That's two codes I've broken. I parlayed Kevin Aylward's weakness for fart jokes into a full-time position at Wizbang.

Now to go ruin someone else's contests...

J.

Posted by Jay Tea | May 6, 2005 | 01:43 pm | Permalink

 

Sorry Jay Tea, it doesn't hold true. The previous contest only had damn in the second place, and the previous 3-4 contests don't have it at all in the top three. Though I did have to check to make sure I hadn't established some subconscious pattern.

I always thought that Kevin was a sucker for some the Lewinski and Washingtonienne type references, though "pull my finger" was usually good for runner-up as you should know. ;)

Rodney "E. B". Dill

Posted by Rodney Dill | May 6, 2005 | 03:19 pm | Permalink

 

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Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill | Monday, May 2, 2005

The Diogenes Denied Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

Yahoo - Reuters

The Winners

First: Brandon Jaynes - “Sure, you can have a drink, but I’M driving!”

Second: Steven L - “Damn. I asked for the BIG bottle.”

Third: Alex Knapp - …a strange sensation filled Kennedy, one that he hadn’t felt in years. Sobriety. Thank god that dude bought alcohol, he thought…

Honorable Mention:

Leelu - “Maybe I should try some of that Dioxin to clear up my face.”

McGehee - “I can usually stretch this much Clearasil to last two or three weeks.”

Sgt Fluffy - Congratulations! In addition to your award, you also win this life size replica of a prehistoric Dinosaur!

Hodink - “Nuff niceties already. Gimme that.”
Carolyn – “Hush.”

The Courage award resemblance to a liquor bottle, chance or design?

Michael - Not a caption, but I swear to GOD he’s looking at that bottle like my dog looks at the steak I’m eating.

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

Yushchenko: “Everyone needs to believe in something.”
Kennedy: “I believe I’ll have another drink.”

Diogenes see’s there’s nothing of interest here and decides to move along.

“Don’t shake, I got your courage right here Teddy.”

“Its supposed to represent concentrated courage, but don’t drink it, we just bottled Dan Rather.”

Teddy: “Boy You look like crap.”
Viktor: “Dioxin will do that, what’s your excuse”

The Monday contest has already started.

About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.

• None Found

• OTB Latenight - The Clash
• 100 Most Influential Slogans
• McCain Working for Dollars, Not Votes?
• Hillary Clinton Buys 2012 Website!!
• Conservatives for Obama II
• McCain Collects Social Security
• Heller Denied D.C. Gun Permit
• Caption Contest Winners
• Bob Barr Conference Call
• California to Ban Trans Fats, Needs Schwarzenegger Signature

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w00t!

Posted by Brandon Jaynes | May 3, 2005 | 08:09 am | Permalink

 

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