Suddenly, Bob's was glad that his wife had made him go to Mount Vesuvius this holiday...

No tan lines.

After three painful weeks to heal, Joe knows to steer clear of the alluring, but gritty, ladies of the sand.

Lawrence eagerly awaits high tide to roll in and moisten things up a bit.

"Wonder if I can get an NEA grant before the tide comes in?"

You're never to old to play in the sand-box.

So, to summarize, to be protected from the sun in the year 2100 either completely cover yourself in sand, or be from a line of not-yet-fully-evolved-from-apes human.

Guy:Hmm...I wonder if they have crabs?

Hmmm...have they changed the rules of beach vollyball since the olympics?

Do sandwomen get silica breast implants?

Bob, was wishing he was a kid again after seeing the benefits of Bush's No Child Left Behind program.

Another blurry picture of the hairy creature known as Bigfoot.

whispers "Down boy."

Jorge makes a beeline to the fish taco stand.

Moments later, Gary would be forcibly removed from the beach with a police escort and serious abrasions to his genitals.

... Because of the sandwedges there!

In one of the "unofficial" Bond films, a shocked Sean Connery discovers three more victims of the sinister Sandfinger.

"I should have known something was up when she told me her three girlfriends were all named Sandy!"

George Lucas decided to release another revision of his Star Wars movies, hoping the new sandpeople would be more to the audience's liking.

* Don't do it George. I'm tellin' ya... that type flies all apart.

* I tell ya what'll freak 'em out... we'll come by in the night and paint them a slight red, like they're sunburned. After three days of them getting redder by the day.....

* Tom was disappointed when he tried to turn one over.

* Jackie, every time you talk us into the beach we get sand all over everywhere!

* The new sand trap presented a new kind of problem for the golfers.

* Cover photo for the new book... TRACKS IN THE SAND by PETER DRAGGIN

* Enter Sandman

Moments later, Kurt would bring new meaning to the phrase, "Go pound sand!"

All the sandpeople, but especially the women, didn't like being taken for granite.

Okay, I admit it. Perhaps we are expecting the troops to stay to long in Iraq before we rotate them home.

It makes you want to take up sand sculpting. I'll try, I'll try!

"Agent Jones clearly misunderstood the directive to probe Sandy Burger for missing documents..."

George Lucas' original vision of Sandpeople was nothing at all like what made it to the screen in Star Wars.

Does anyone smell fish?

George figured that the sluts were asking for it, but he really hated getting sand in his underwear.

After years as a non-believer, John finally found proof that Sandy Claus does, in fact, exist.

This just in from teh 7th Annual SAnd Sculpture Contest: Little Timmy Thompson was eliminated when his sand snake was put to shame Bill Clinton's entry.

MIAMI (AP)--Luther Campbell State Beach opened to the public this weekend . . .

While photographing some sea-side art, Clint catches an exciting, yet rare glimpse of a Bigfoot/Yeti.

When his frat brothers told him there was an easy girl on the beach and said her name was Sandy Bottoms he thought he had finally found a sure thing, and low and behold he found Sandy Bottoms and was not amused.

Yeah, like that's not silica.

Man, I hate getting crack in my sand.

Choices, choices, choices...

Baby got back...

The lifelike movement, surprising muscular development, and cascading shadows in little Billy's baroque-style sand castles were reminiscent of Caravaggio in a Hugh Hefner world.

"Barker's Beauties" head to the beach. Behind door number 2 was Bob Barker's latest sexual harrassment lawsuit.

When Hairy Met Sandy