Herro?

Yes, prease send two extra large, one with extra crispy fish eyeballs and seal testicles. How much? $950? And make sure the derivery boy is wearing his wetsuit with blue, er pink diapers.

Ahhhhh. I rove Japan.

Jello Shots were a big hit on Ladies' Night at the famous Ice Hotel.

Visitors to Verkhoyansk discover that the "room-temperature" is perfect for serving Absolute.

And it keeps the sushi fresh too!!!!

Communism gone soft?

After google-ing repeatedly the words freedom, democracy and China, the Chinese secret police exiled these dissidents to what they thought was Siberia in China.

another meeting of the Chinese chapter of Maureen Dowd's fan club sponsored by the chinese government.

Absolut ripp-off Charlie's angels.

" We didn't win any medals at The Olympics Mom, but I set a record for throwing up!"

Japan introduces the new nuclear powered cell-phone that never loses power. Unfortunately, due to the risk of exposure to radioactivity, special clothing is required when using them for more than 56 seconds.

A bar where the women are absolutely frigid.

After failing to regain their traditional Country-Western fan base, the Dixie Chicks decided to rebuild their image...

"After this we will pop over to Hades House, a really hot little bar owned by the United States but managed by North Korea."

The citizens of Kyoto weren't sure whether or not to blame the cold snap on global warming.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody loves chow mein.

I refuse to patronize any bar where the management forces the women to put more clothes on.

Well hello there beautiful. Are your nipples saying their happy to see me or is it just cold in here?

I can't believe it. We paid thirty bucks cover to get in here and here are no men. Dowd was right, it's all Bush's fault.

ON PHONE: Mom! You were right! With these bulky gloves, nobody notices that I have six fingers on my right hand!

"There was me, that is Alexa, and my two droogs, that is Georgia, and Dim, Dim being really dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. The Korova Milkbar was a milk-plus mesto, and you may, O my sister, have forgotten what these mestos where like things changing so skorry these days and everybody very quick to forget, newspaper not being read much neither. Well, what they sold there was milk plus something else. They had no license for selling liquor, but there was no law yet against prodding some of the some of the new veshches which they would put into the old moloko, so you could peet it with vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom or one or two other veshches which would give you a nice quiet horrorshow fifteen minutes admiring Bog And All His Holy Angels And Saints in your left shoe with lights bursting all over your mozg. Or you could peet it with knives in it, as we use to say, and this would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of dirty twenty-to-one, and that was what we were peeting this evening I’m starting off the story with..."

Herro, Emelgency Loom? My fliend has her rip stuck to her flozen dlink grass. No, she no panic...she is lipped to the girrs. Heehee...she wipe that smire off when I pee on her rip to thaw it out.

"Yes yes, Al Gore big asshole. Where is global warming?"

South Korean scientists, busy in their labs with their latest cloning experiments.

Jim who made this drink????

Finally there is scientific proof that blondes have more fun.

"Steve Ballmer? I don't know a Steve Ballmer."

After finally winning a gold medal in the 2008 Olympics at Torino, Japan celebrates in style.

It so fleezing in hele, and I am sooo dlunk!

"north Koreans enjoy a drink in their new "ice palace" built with the assistance of western aid, Were it not for the abundance of glass after the dear leaders last ridiculous insult, North Korea would still be deficient in it's supply of large solid blocks of crystalline glass"

"Okasan! Doko ni iru ka shiteru jan?

Absorute zero!"

"You have video phone too? Then dance for me monkeyboy, dance."

(funny charles, funny... ain't gonna win, but funny)

Voice: "Pardon me, but do you have tourettes, I keep hearing you say, 'My Ass, My Ass.'"
Girl: "Yes I use Toiret and my ass is freezing"

The latest in Japanese robotics come with the Sorority Sister chip. They'll party hearty and order your pizza...but they do tend to overheat quickly and get stuck in an "Oh my God, shuttup!" loop.

Verizon ..... more bars in more locations.

"Too bad jackets only come in silver. Good color for you, American. We prefer gold."

"Hehehehehe, yeah, could you hear that? That was Keiko farting on an ice block."

Hello Absolut Moto!

Saints fans in Hell celebrating their team's Super Bowl victory.

"Me? I hate vodka. Green tea for me at the oxygen bar. Not so cold. Enjoy embers, flames, hot men, wild sex ..."

Three shes to the bend(er).

"Yes. With pepperoni and extra cheese delivered to the Ice Bar, please."