I pledge allegiance, to be the hag...

GOP candidate's dream: 'I'm having a heart atack'

"The (Blue)View"

Goodbye, testicles.

The Four Horse(wo)myn of the Apocalypse.

The reason why Sex and the City was set in NY instead of DC.

Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheap cheap cheap, talk a lot, pick a little more...

Wooooooo! That was a good one! Phew! Meaty with a hint of egg!

1.BITCHFEST

2.WHERE IN THE WORLD LARRY KING?

Boxer: And THEN, he walks right over to Angela Merkel and starts rubbing her shoulders!

Clinton: Ahhhhhhhhh! No! (grabs Feinstein) Oh, God . . . I can't WAIT until '08!

"Why, when Bill asked me to lewinski him I got the vapors so bad..."

"I Haven't Had This Much Fun Since I Put Itching Powder In Bills' Boxers."

So I started the Cindy fast and gained two pounds on the protein shakes.

Yes my pretties. When I'm elected president we will rule the world. Muhahahahaha.

Hillary Clinton was caught on tape doing a back of the hand grope of Dianne Feinstains breast while pretending to grab her arm.

Women who've slept with Bill Clinton and the voters who elected them, next on Oprah.

Larry King delves into the question why once a month it just doesn't pay for the GOP to bring any legislation to the floor for a vote.

Oh, you should have seen the look on Monica's face when she found out the cigar was better endowed.

And then Kos called and said he was going to do to me what he's doing to Lieberman because I'm not anti-war enough.

No, Barb, it's pronounced ve-sec-te-me!

..[cackle]..this is where my heart would be

"Oh, I know what you mean Barbara, I had to laugh to keep from crying. He looked so earnest two years ago thinking he really, really was going to be President for 8 years...."

The Coven.

I am just a good girl, though my story's often told,
I have squandered my principles for a pocketful of mumbled campaign promises.
All lies and zest, still the Times hears what it wants to hear and disregards the rest, hmmmm...

When I left my home and my family, I was no more than a girl,
In the company of strangeness,
In the quiet of the Little Rock mansion, runnin' scams.
Buying low, seeking out the richer crackers where the Whiter Waters roll,
Selling them new places with Hubbell in tow.

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

Asking only Croesus' wages, I pretend to write a book and I get ten offers.
And a comeon from the whores down on K avenue.
I do declare, there were times when I was so greedy I took some comfort there.

And I'm laying out my White House clothes, wishing I was gone, goin' home.
Where the New York City winters aren't bleedin' me, leadin' me to go home.

On my far left sits Ms. Boxer, a fellow fighter by tirade,
And I carry the reminders of every lover that laid Bill down or &*%@ him
'Til I cried out in my anger and my shame,
I am leaving, I am leaving, but calculating I remain, I still remain...

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

Now look, we can't *all* do big arms. Tell you what, *I'll* do big arms, and everyone else just stand there and go "ooh, she's doing big arms".

Hil: "I wish I had a heart."

Boxer, Cantwell and Feinstein regale Hillary Clinton with autobiographical sexually explicit stories concerning a certain former president named Clinton.

Diane, you need to shut up, this is, after all, MY vagina monologue.

"When Cherie Blair had her most recent child, the rumor was that my husband had fathered the baby. That time is was Tony Blair who said, 'Sh*t!'"

Of course I can't win, but it sure is fun scaring the pee out of a lot of neocons .....

'Tell us again how it goes'

"Like this ...
I pledge allegiance to the United States of Islam
and to the Republic of Liberal Handstands
One nation under Allah
With clitorectomies, beheadings, and nihilism for all."

So he was all, like, "Are you going to divorce me?" Ha! Ha! Ha!

"Smiling? No, no. This is botox!"

I nearly died when I saw the expression on Bill's face as he was told Viagra and his Beta blocker medication are not compatible!

"Real men in the Democratic leadership??? Oh, Barb, you're such a cut up!!!!"

The sound engineers were completely baffled by the constant sound of cackling..

Then, ha ha, then I said that I support the troops and wanted to find common ground with, get this, ha ha, he, I almost can't say it without laughing, common ground with pro-lifers on abortion.. .and and they believed me...ho ha ha ha, oh that was rich, damn the media are easily lead fools....

"... then once when I was a little girl, I mixed up this batch of fake puke and ..."

"Golly girls, my heart is pounding really, really hard just like it did when Bill said, 'It depends on what the meaning of the word â??isâ?? is.'"

â??Golly girls, my heart is pounding really, really hard just like it did when Bill said, â??It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is.â??â??

LOL Forget it.

"Well umm, ha, ha. He and I initially tested that cigar thing."

(Standing on Fersboo's shoulders with a nod and a wink to The Young Ones) The Four Horsewomyn of the Apocalypse: Anti-War, Famine, Pestilence, and the other one.

"Justice DeLay'd is Justice denied. Oh that's a good one."

"All hail, Hillary! Hail to thee! First Lady of Arkansas," said Senator Boxer.
"All hail, Rodham! Hail to thee! First Lady of the United States," said Senator Cantwell.
"All hail, Clinton! Thou shalt be President hereafter," said Senator Feinstein.

Duh hugh.. duh hugh... she said Bush.