Shake?

"This is my ring finger hand. I never reach for pieces of toilet paper or stall dividers or any human body parts with this hand. Now, on the other hand ..."

Okay, I might have did it. Let's shoot for it, two out of three. Rock, scissor, paper......

You tell how to feel a cop er cop a feel and get away with it.

You tell me now how to
feel a cop er cop a feel and get away with it.

I am a victim of the liberal media.

I had a distinctly not-gay wide fingered grip on his ball sack...

I am a victim of the liberal media.

Dear lord, you are so earnestly unfunny it's painful. Which means that it's a decent spoof. Good job.

Craig, shown here passing a sign to the cute reporter in the third row, maintained his innocence despite resigning.

When you look like this, can you blame him for trying to get some any way he could?

Craig told reporters that he was resigning and that he was not wearing pants under his raincoat.

Great, Rove leaves and now someone in the GOP thinks Craig making announcements in front of the White House is a good idea.

I am a victim of the liberal lifestyle.

"One hand washes the other... if ya know what I mean."

I was for guilty as charged before I was against guilty as charged.

* No, I am not staring at your crotch.

"Why, yes, this is a trenchcoat. Why do you ask?"

"I'm not gay, though apparently there is something wrong with that."

"I pleaded guilty to the officer's charge of disturbing the piece."

"The Ambien I was taking had me confused. I thought I was in the men's room in the Senate."

In retrospect, Senator Craig's 2005 cryptic declaration - - "I've got them by the balls, now, boy!" - - seemed to make more sense.

Well, he's definitely not talking about Dana Perino.

"There was no glory in holing up any longer. Stalling my resignation would only make it hurt worse. I couldn't let the sun go down on me for another day as Senator. Couldn't drag it out..."

"Well look. Those of you who use restrooms simply to void should heed astronaut, Lisa Nowak. Wear diapers."

"My luck is just awful. Heck, besides all this, I tried on the O J Simpson glove and it fit ... like a glove."

The Devil made me do it!

My first mistake was getting caught.
My second mistake was pleading guilty.
My third was thinking the cop was interested.

To err is human

In politics... never retreat, never retract... never admit a mistake.
(Napoleon Bonaparte)

"Forget the toe-tapping, check out the handshake we use to indicate membership. Oh yeah, and when I wink a certain way, it means something too."

Then he said, "What's it got in it's pocket, preciousss?"

You gotta feel around and find the "G" spot!

I have in my hands a list of over 100 bathrooms I have NOT been accused of picking up cops in!

"It should surprise no one that I am a well-paid undercover Democrat now."

Lemme touch it and see if you have what it takes to make Craigslist!