Don't look now Mr. President, but Gibson's drunk, he's got the mic, and he's wailin' on the Jews.

God I hate karaoke.

We are the world....

"Don't look now Mr. President, but I think Jenna just dropped her skirt."

Carlos: "..We wish you a Merry Christmas"
Dr. Phil: "..We wish you a Merry Christmas"
Laura: "..We wish you a Merry Christmas"
Dubya: "..and I'll have another beer"

Dubya: Psst, Laura, Dr. Phil just grabbed my ass.
Laura: Mine too, let's switch places.

After the huge Christmas dinner, George just remembered he forgot to take his Gas-X pill, much to the dismay of the people seated behind him.

Dammit, Laura, Phil just pinched my ass again!

Bernie Kerik swipes the flask full of Jagermeister from the back pocket of an unsuspecting President. With no more access to booze, Bush comes to his senses, withdraws troops from Iraq, and retires early to his Texas estate. Kerik saves the world!

"Laura, did they say that guy is from that group Il Divo. He's pretty good. Maybe he can get his group together to sing some of their old stuff like 'Whip It' ".

"There's Rodney again! I'll wait 'til he's rewinding and then do somethin' really funny."

"Nyuk nyuk nyuk."

At least he can count better than Tara Reid.

1) Dr Phil thinking... Hmm, should I pitch them the idea for a TV season of 'The Dr.Phil White House'?

2) Bush to Laura, "I'm blind, Dr. Phil's wife Robin just smiled at me, the glare from the lights were reflected off her verners (sp?) right in my eyes!"

3) Bush to Laura, "This is what I get for being from Texas, Dr.Phil at my Christmas party? Remind me the next time I'm elected to be from California so I can hang out with Hefner."

"Don't look Laura, but I think it's the ghost of Christmas Present and he looks an awful lot like Saddam Hussein!"

Dubya: Oh, good the bar is finally open.

See Laura, not even Dr. Phil thinks I should talk to the North Koreans.

"Everybody -- Feelings, whoa, whoa, whoa, feelings..."

"Do they know it's Oprah time at all?"

"We are the whirled..."

"Everybody -- My hearts on fire for Elvira. Giddyup a oompaapa oompapa maumau..."

The President picked a unique way to let the world know that Dr. Phil would be taking over for John Negoponte as the next Director of U.S. Intelligence.

(Sorry, I meant John Negroponte).

"Bismillah, we will not let you go!"
"Let him go!"
"Bismillah, we will not let you go!"
"Let him go!"
"Will not let you go!"
"Let me go"
"Will not let you go!"
"Never let me go!"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
"Oh mama mia, let me go!"
"Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me..."

"...I bet you'll hear my whistle blowin' when my train rolls in, it goes (whistle) like dust in the wind. Stoned pimp, stoned freak, stoned out of my mind, I once was lost, but now I'm just blind. Palm trees and weed, scabbed knees and rice, get a map to the stars, find Heidi Fleiss.
And if the price is right I'm gonna make my bid boy, and let Cali-for-ny-aye know why they call me cowboy, baby. With the top let back and the sunshine shining. Cowboy, baby..."

And over them all, even the one with the microphone, Roseanne could be heard screeching the national anthem while she grabbed her crotch. Again.

Eliot: "Dang, I just ran out of lame 'Bush is a drunkard' jokes. Guess I better stop now."

If you are directing that at me, lighthen up McGehee.....it's all in good fun - Elliot

Who knew Handel could be made to sound like Varese?

I don't care what the song says, I'm not donning any gay apparel.

lighthen up McGehee…..it’s all in good fun

Which is why I made a joke instead of grumping at you.

Bush was thrilled when Laura whispered her rendition of Loosen Up My Buttons.