Holy smoking mental floss!

I wonder if this would work on Nancy Pelosi?

Unable to find a candidate that excited their base, the GOP introduced their new candidate, hoping to appeal to the youth, wiccan, uh...

For those tired of burning candles at both ends...

A supporter celebrates the record breaking amount Ron Paul raised on the internet this quarter.

EARCRACK!! Finally the television news is starting to make sense!

Some of the reactions to Tom Tancredo's leaving the Presidential race were, shall we say, unique.

Due to adverse selection and Gammon's Law, there was only enough money to cover one service in the Democrats' health care plan. But, in truth, it was a doozy.

Dude... Seriously, I don't feel anything. This stuff must be shwag...

Steve Martin: The Hippie years.

Under the new rules, we have to go ahead and sell him the gun since he has all the paperwork.

With water boarding gone, the CIA reverts to a back up plan to elicit information.

As with any cure, the real fascination is who came up with the idea in the first place.

A walnut on the eye ... to cure facial paralysis ... what a quack. Everyone knows that only a pecan would be really effective. - Ron Paul M.D.

So would this be covered under Hillary or Obama's health care plan?

It really works. When the fuse reaches the eardrums the face becomes immensely animated.

Kim Jong-Il channels Ramtha in a feeble attempt to save his creepy regime.

Each Olympic host nation gets to introduce a new sport. Beijing plans to introduce "Blow it out your Backside" (shown here) in 2008.

Norman Hsu, Clinton fundraiser, sees his plans go up in smoke.

I hear dead people.

1. Check back in ten years to see if he qualifies for the Darwin Awards.
2. Turn on, tune in, drop out.
3. A somewhat offbeat cure for the common cold. At least that's what he's sayin'.
4. Now we understand how Bill Clinton didn't inhale.
5. My headache, my cure.
6. Burning the brain cells at both ends.

DRUDGEBREAKING: New secret photo reveals how Dick Cheney's offices caught fire. Developing...

Think whatever you want but he still didn't inhale.

I'm going to hate myself for saying this, but my vote is for Hal's.

Another satified patient,
THANKS HILLARYCARE!

Mongolian acupuncture cure for ear wax buildup.

Wong regretted falling asleep at the party.

All your weed are belong to us.

Xinxi liked to relax with a smoke after waxing off.

Professor Li applying for tenure at UC Berkeley.

"Some Of The Old Pick up Lines Are Still The Best."

"For My Next Trick I Will Have Anal Sex With A Flaming Monkey."

"Multi-tasking Is A Learned Skill."

The worst part is the realization that there's some poor woman out there somewhere who has to admit, "Yes, that's my son."

Actually, it is an ancient suction trick to remove not only wax particles, but other accumulations of junk deep in the ears. One has to be careful, though, to stop in time, or risk a strange form of lobotomy.

Lens Crafters Custom Frames...(Special Orders Don't Up Set Us)

This Is Your Brain On Drugs....( Any Questions? )

The Kazoo concert was mind-blowing.

Dude, seriously, after a half an hour of this, the debates begin to make sense.

...and this one time, at band camp? The lead kazoo-ist? He got loaded...

"Pipe Cleaners An Under-Appreciated Art Form."

"Sure I Tried It, But I Never Inhaled."

If you think THIS is weird $#!+, you should see the part of the photo that was cropped!!!

You don't EVEN want to know where he stuck the third crack pipe!

In the Chinese production of "Popeye", they have figured out how to get the squint, but they still have problems with the pipe.

Sure, New Age medicine is all fun and games - until someone puts an eye out.

A visual reenactment of, "I didn't inhale."