Abdul and his friends head out for a night of cruising the strip in East L.A.

Pakistani soldiers on patrol Quetta show off the latest in Pakistani might, the Bhutto mobile, designed to reduce sudden impact head trauma in the event of a surprise attack.

Crap, we aren't going to Khaled's Khorner Khiosk again, are we? If I have to eat one more of his over-cooked, dry-as-sand falafels again, I think I'm gonna explode!

"Pakistani Soldiers Take Their Beer Runs Seriously."

Accessorize with government issue dodgerblue paisley and darkgoldenrod chunky scarves plus matching knit gloves.

The Rat Patrol

Real butch plaid scarf there Muhammed.

Next time I ride AK47...

Hitchin' a ride again, third time this week our truck was stolen. The Captain ain't gonna like that.

After replacing their "Chicago in '68" sign with a "Denver or Bust!" placard they were on their way ...

Abdul: "Keystone Cops?! What does that mean?..."

Worried, discouraged, but not beaten, the Clinton campaign moved on to Ohio.

Not another word. I'm still not speaking to you. We are supposed to be a fearsome group of warriors and you get us a red truck. What no pink ones were available?

The first rule of the Pakistani army: What's in front of you doesn't matter.

Join the army. See the world. Meet interesting people. And sit in the back of a compact pickup with four other guys who smell worse than you do.

- The NY TImes' show of force after the opening salvo in its campaign to discredit McCain.

- Sgt. Sam Troy: "Shake it!" (after reading the Rat Patrol reference, I just couldn't resist)

- Look, one more comment about my blue scarf not matching my uniform...at least it's warm...my wife, she told me to wear it or not bother coming home tonight, so there!

Laugh if you want, but we still have a better chance of finding bin Laden than McCain does.

Kwame Kilpatrick's security detail stands guard outside Christine Beatty's house while the mayor "polls the electorate."

* What they don't know is, we secretly switched their troop transport vehicle, with a pig truck.

* All that's missing to make it totally bizzare, is an AC/DC T-shirt.

* That's not so very strange... Kemal Ataturk had an entire menagerie, all called Abdul.

* ...and the Greek troops advanced from the rear....

* Unlike these guys, Ted Kennedy has a confirmed kill....

* Cover of: A Comprhensive Guide to Arab Democracies....

* Habib, why must you always dress differently?

*

Now let them tell us we can drive a pickup on a boulevard!

should have read "can't" [sorry]

What "hope" and "change" really look like.

John Ondrasik is much more popular in Pakistan than is generally realized.

The red pickups are coming! The red pickups are coming!

The Denver rodeo delegate roundup begins.

"I am smiling."

Pakistani UN Peacekeepers arrive at California after the U.S. Department of Agriculture announced the decision to recall 143 million pounds of beef from the American market.

Not wanting to be outdone by their long standing and staunch allies, the Americans, who yesterday successfully shot down a spy satellite with a missile, Pakistan rolled out their M.D.K.R.S. (Mobile Distressed Kite Removal System)for their two day Basant festival. The MDKRS has been shown to be effective at distances of up to 58 yards with unconfirmed reports of a 63 yard take down a rogue kite.

Get your Toyota running
Head out on the Afghani highway
Looking for adventure
And whatever comes our way

Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space

Born to be wi-eee-eye-ild

NYT's, CNN, the AP, Reuters, and CBS go McCain hunting.

Ah, Mr. Dean, the Florida delegation is outside and they seem really, really set on coming inside.

While Hillary battles the fallout from Lobstergate,
her hunt for superdelegates continues unabated.

'Shock & Awe' ... the outgoing Bush administration's military doctrine. Was promptly replaced by new President Obama ... with 'Aw Shucks.'

My brother Achmed got embassy guard duty in London, and all I get to guard is this stinking truck.

Iranian troops guard Presidential limousine.

Pakistani troops seize truck after it is found to have "Obama in 08" bumper sticker. Musharrif was not amused.

The ayatollah said these scarves would make us invisible to the Israelis, but I'm not so sure.

Security is very tight indeed, here in Suburban Detroit.

Okay, there's five of us, now we should have no trouble getting a decent cell phone family plan.

"No mustache. No ride."

All your pickups are belong to us!

"NAFTA is a good thing."
"Yes, a very good thing."