The military readies Dick Cheney's new quail gun.

Under Obama's reign as commander in chief, the army rolled out the president's new answer to Iran's nuclear weapons program, a multi-Gatling cork gun. Environmentalists protested the need for cutting down precious cork trees.

Several retired generals approved of the weapon.

Not to be outdone in what is sure to be the next arms race, Russia deploys it's TMOARC (The Mother Of All Roman Candles) system as a show of force against the American missle defense system.

Bitter Russians, turned sour from years of economic hardship and internal rife, turn to rail cars and rockets much like Americans turn to guns n' god.

With the last week of campaigning in Pennsylvania here, Hillary has her sights set on Obama.

Hillary: "..now, when we did our corkscrew landing into Bosnia, there was 50cal cover fire, grenades exploding in the air, ack-ack bursts dotted the sky, the sound of brass ringing off the hard ground was deafening. But, as I recall, all that small stuff is NOTHING compared to what went wizzing by our convoy when we visited Russia"

* "Everyone looks weak", mused Tom, " when they're at the wrong end of a machine gun".

* I take it that your name is "Sir"?

* Look, hasn't this penis substitution thing gone a bit far?

* What, THIS little thing?

* In other news, Chuck Schumer suffered a heart atatck, today....

* Happyness is a warm gun

* Let's see, here. Ammo Belt. Bandolier. Impossibly huge gun. Head band. I mumble. OK, Lock and load.

* Uh, Honey, get dressed. I think we've got trouble. It's your husband, and he has a gun.

* This week on "Battle of the Stars...."

* I love the smell of burnt feathers and gunpowder and cordite!" -D.Duck

*

Legos: The Next Generation.

Is that a rocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Yet another example of fiction begetting reality: behold, the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! (Earth-shattering kaboom to follow.)

Russia takes the "bullet train" concept to a whole new level.

Russia prepares to ship the final component of Iran's peaceful nuclear energy program.

"Me? Watch me do famous Russian dance called La Bomba on YouTube."

#$%@! I knew I should have gotten some gas at that last station.

Shown is what President Bush referred to as his "back-up plan" in case the stimulus package fails to bring about the desired effect for the country's economy: He will be the first man to travel to Mars

We will save time by firing horizontally.

"Our nuclear program is entirely peaceful," President Ahmadinejad.

Move on. Nothing to see here.

China's plan to sneak the Olympic torch past protesters surrounding the Bird's Nest.

"The fuse fell out! I'll get it!"

The Russian military finally unveils its bovine-inspired multi-nipple ordnance.

Putin decried western spying when it was revealed that the reason the latest rocket didn't launch was a bunch of red suction cups on the bottom.

Tovarich, I do not understand you. Da, it is rocket. Da, I am happy to see you. But rocket is not in my pocket.

Boris tried to walk away nonchalantly after finding out why they had the sign on the side of the rocket "Do not lean against".

No one in congress or NASA had a comment when shown the only way to get to the US financed space station due to the retirement of the shuttle system.

The Russian film industry is taking advantage of the nations low costs to re-make classic animation with live characters. In this scene, the coyote will attempt to overtake the road runner by ...

Tell those clowns in R&D at UPS there is no way we can beat Fedex with a rocket powered truck.

Senator Stevens Internet tubes are revealed at last.

It's just my job five days a week.

CNN's Lou Dobbs has decided to protect the border himself since Bush won't do it.

North Korea decides to compete with YouTube by showing off Rocket RedTube.

Not actually having enough rocket fuel to launch them, North Koreans simulate glowing rocket exhaust tubes.

Red China sends missile team to "negotiate" Tibetan grievances once and for all.

With the attempt at the world's record for railroad speed just moments away, this bozo didn't notice the "No Smoking" sign.

I, the Orkin Man, will kill all bugs in the city!

Who's got a match?

"Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines."

The fireworks for the 2008 Olympic summer games' opening ceremony are out of this world.

Historians noted that this arms race started with double-barreled shotguns.

++++++++

The Russians didn't know what to do with their rocket after the bottles were mistakenly shipped to Sao Paulo.

Today in Washington, the FAA grounded all rockets due to difficulties related to wiring inspections.

Who is that rocket? And why is he following me?

The Russian bumper crop of strawberries was found to work better than vodka as a WMD.

...and that's just the sub-woofer!

Us Russians have a reality show, Outrun The Gun. The winners run track at the Olympics.

Come on Baby light my fire.

The last man standing ..... (after the Dems scorched earth campaign).

Can you hear me now?

* North Korea, unable to make use of it's weapons stockpile, settles for creating the world's largest Bong.

* The only real competition to the French's TGV train

* Meanwhile at the superimposed rocket....

* The Super Bowl fireworks this year had to be redesigned, when they found out at the last minute that Indy has a domed stadium.

* That little faggot's got his own jet airplane...(Mark Knopfler)

* Viva Viagara!

* Darn kids. Don't they know this is a school zone?

* The parking lot at work quickly became a battleground, as first one person then another bought progressively bigger and faster vehicles. The argument finally stopped when Chang rode in on a motorcycle powered by five... count 'em... five... Saturn Five rockets.

Isfahan-(AFP) A U.N. inspector looks on, as Iran begins its first full power nuclear test, on Israel.

"Weapon of mass destruction? Are you daft? This is art."

Never achieving orbit, Al Gore's biodiesel rocket, gets a new lease on life. As Al's Hot Wings, on I-35 just outside of Wichita.

New Povlov Vodka Ad (Take A Trip And Never Leave The Golog.)

Olympic opening ceremony involves shooting down a satellite full of firecrackers.

Not really an entry... but given the pic, this makes an interesting tie-in

* The remake of "Support your Local Sherrif", starring John Cleese.