"...and be careful 'round your little sister's hood, you'll put your eye out."

I'm almost ashamed to post this...almost, but not quite.

When the Hamilton kids learned that Santa Claus was also a Roman Catholic priest, they displayed mixed reactions.

Boyd takes an early lead ...

A youthful John Forbes Kerry demonstrates to Muffin van Shimmelpennick what he means by INtegrity.

Jane likes sitting on Santa's left knee.....

Dick ain't so sure about sitting on Santa's right "knee".....

Young Emily suddenly remembers that Santa has only two knees.....

Concealed by the whiskers, Tony Blair reflects upon the extraordinary lengths to which he will go to secure the youth vote.

Jane likes sitting on Santa's left knee.....

Dick ain't so sure about sitting on Santa's right "knee".....

Young Emily suddenly remembers that Santa has only two knees.....

Linda Blair would eventually find it easier to hurl real liquid projectile vomit when it was Beelzebub who was dishing out the goodies.

It suddenly dawned on Missy that Santa "Three Knees" Claus was a fibber.

"Soylent Green is people!"

Little Timmy jumps and drops his sister, as Santa "warms his hands."

Guess Daddy really didn't like Mommy kissing Santa Claus.

"First we're goin' to see Santa, then we're gonna pet the reindeer, then see the elves, then we're goin' to the toy store, and the pet store, and on to Christmas town... YEEEEEAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!"

Aaaggghhh! Mommy! I saw a snake in Santa's lap!

Leave it to Beaver...he just whispered in his little sister's ear Santa was going to bring her a Michael Moore doll for Christmas.

Thus proving that Santa still only has two hands, albeit cold hands.

"SERENITY NOW!!

Santa, in the cases of Marla, Jack, and Donna, you are NOT the father!

This was the moment that Jimmy decided that the chili he'd eaten the night before wasn't such a good idea, after all.

Little Billy was almost as upset as his sister when they announced that Mary was, in fact, a Conehead. Cindy, a big fan of SNL, knew it all along. Santa was on 'ludes.

YAHOO ENTERTAINMENT - CBS announced today the new reality based TV show Christian-Judeo Children Swap. The McIntyre family children respond to the news that they will be traded to a Jewish family, after Chanukah, but before Christmas. Only Mary seems happy with the news. When asked why she responds, "One word, Circumcision."

I'm sorry, I may be a sick puppy, but Mark made me laugh out loud. I'm still laughing. I haven't done that in a long time.

Of course it may have been shock...

Little Delilah suddenly realized that her siblings, lacking a gnome, intended to insert *her* into the department store Santa.

Only little Tina Baker enjoyed the family tradition of "Triple Dutch Oven."

The beginnings og Kos, Wonkette and the perky Katie Kourics hatred of Christmas

Even at a young age, Martha Stewart showed signs of greatness. Just minutes earlier, Martha had sold Santa "stock" in her brother and sister in exchange for the promise of an Easy Bake Oven.