Continued…

(AFP/File/Jean-Loup Sense)

✰ THE WINNERS ✰

First: Hodink - “”I sure do miss Johnny Cash.”"

Second: John Burgess - Martin was too scary, even for Clown School.

Third: Bithead - Cover picture of the new Prison novel by the famous writer Ben Framed: “Fable of Con’s Tents.”

HONORABLE MENTION

Bithead - Joe Arpio’s jail camp was the scene, today, for reports of a jailbreak. Prisoner Jack Short, described as being a 35 year old male 3ft 4 in tall, balding, and claiming to be a psychic, escaped, today, without a trace. At last report — Small Medium At Large.

elliot - Lenny was in trouble, it was bean burrito day, and he was the last one going to the latrine

Jack W - Shock results of zebra/human cloning experiment revealed !! (I for one welcome our new zebra overlords — rodney)

DL - Ahab was always a maverick going his own way and never following the crowd.

Floyd - After the 2008 election it was decided to solve the mid-east crisis by sending thousands of referees to Iraq.

charles austin - The chic of Cell Block B.

ℛODNEY’S BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

“Mmmm…. Minty fresh!”

Hmmm… Dis Pismo beach?

Maybe I should’ve taken a left at Albuquerque

“I shoulda expected the Spanish Inquisition.”

The Thursday Contest came back sooner than expected.

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Continued…

(Larry Downing/Reuters)

✰ THE WINNERS ✰

First: Maggie Mama - “I say, it seems like Russert still has a few questions for you, Georgie.”

Second: Suzanne Berton - It’s a bird; it’s a plane; no, it’s your father sky diving again.

Third: Wyatt Earp - “And one night when we were really tanked, Phillip and I made love while riding the chandelier.”

HONORABLE MENTION

Bithead - C’mon, Mr. Wallenda….

elliot - I think it was that smiling bird that got you.

William d’Inger - That stain is from the royal spitting contest of 1277.

Elmo - And watch out for Obama, he thinks he can fly.

yetanotherjohn - Man, 8 years has sure aged Laura.

John425 - Queen: “In a previous contest, Dill had that huge Egyptian statue standing dockside at the Thames.” (George: “I liked the yellow ducky better…” — Rodney)

Jim - “Made you look.”

ℛODNEY’S BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

“No George!…. NOT Pinata.”

George never figured out the Queens odd reaction to “Whassup?”

Oh, look, there’s Charlie, lets do yell “JUMP.”

Queen: “There’s one of the R.O.U.S now.” Dubya: “I don’ beleef dey exist,”

The Monday Contest smells a rat.

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Continued…

(AFP/Getty Images/File/Jeff Swensen)

✰ THE WINNERS ✰

First: John Burgess - Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Second: Bithead - True to form, Barry brought a gun to a bungee jump

Third: John425 - “…for I am the Living Obama, and he that believeth in me shall have everlasting federal subsidies and eternal taxation.”

HONORABLE MENTION

Cowboy Blob - Daddy! Look at the size of that Gremlin on our wing!

Maggie Mama - “With arms spread wide — as if to embrace the whole country sprawling below in spectacular disorder” — Obama the Redeemer statue can be seen all over the airways.

radio free fred - Tim Russert Coaches From Heaven..”Balance ..Balance..Balance.”

charles austin - I still don’t get performance art.

ℛODNEY’S BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

Once fundamentalist muslims took over Rio, Christ the Redeemer had to go.

Obama’s bridge to the future.

I think we’re gonna need a bigger bridge.

The Thursday Contest is still looking for Ceiling Cat.

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Continued…

REUTERS/Larry Downing (GERMANY)

✰ THE WINNERS ✰

First: radio free fred - “Too Many Wieners And Not Enough Kraut.”

Second: brainy435 - “Ok, so palms down, hands on your hips, THEN palms up? DAMNIT!… The Macerena is hard.”

Third: Dennis - Merkel: Would you quit saying “I know a little German.”

HONORABLE MENTION

William d’Inger - It’s “EU”, Mister President, not “eeeeeuu”.

Triumph - Angela, will you be my Monica?

Wyatt Earp - Merkel: “I once ate a bratwurst this big!”

Elmo - Angela: I was slapjack king of East Berlin High Dub: No kiddin’?

ℛODNEY’S BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

“Can I carry the invisible pig now? huh… huh…”

The Emperor’s clothes? Why don’t I see nothin’?

You can wish in one hand, and crap in the other… and see which fills up faster.

“Quickly as you can snatch the … Hey! …put the pebble back I wasn’t ready!”

The Monday Contest is ready to take the plunge.

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Continued…

(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

✰ THE WINNERS ✰

First: Brenda - War costs have really cut into the entertainment budget.

Second: elliot - General: In an attack, he would stop at nothing to protect you. Laura: Oh, woody!…er…Oh, would he?

Third: charles austin - Kiwii want to play.

HONORABLE MENTION

Steven L. - “I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot po-well helllooo.”

markm - Laura Bush “That’s sweet haka boy…but didn’t anyone tell you not to bring a stick to a gunfight?”

Cowboy Blob - No longer satisfied with kicking sand on 98-pound weaklings, Butch begins to pick on retired librarians.

Bithead - When you can row your canoe down a dry lake bed Kwai Chang, without disturbing the pebbles. Will it be time for you to leave.

Suzanne Berton - Laura: I can’t wait to get back home and get George to try this out in his skivvies!

brainy435 - Hmmm, would ninjas trump snipers?

ℛODNEY’S BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

“Now is ze time on Sprockets, vhen ve danz.”

The new son-in-law’s family has some rather bizarre marriage traditions.

“Hmmm… I thought kiwi’s were fruit… Oh, he’s doing The French Mistake… nevermind.”

The Thursday Contest didn’t see Dubya snatch the pebble from her hand.

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Continued…

(AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

✰ THE WINNERS ✰

First(tie): Timmer - Kerry thought bubble: At least it didn’t take me 16 months to beat a girl.

First(tie): Wyatt Earp - “A lot of Republicans call me a one-trick pony. Well, there’s only one horse in this Party and it’s . . . oh, he’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

Second: Elmo - If you vote for me, Susan Sarandon won’t hafta move to Canada. Please do it for the children of Hollywood!

Third: William d’Inger - As my Secretary Of Da Fence, he will organize the Bureau Of Medal Pitchin’.

HONORABLE MENTION

DaveD - We’re down to just two finalists in the “Please think of me as the next John F. Kennedy” contest.

charles austin - John Kerry caught in an awkward moment of deciding to clap after not clapping, or deciding not to clap after clapping. Maintaining the viability of a future candidacy is such a tremendous burden for a nuanced man.

Bithead - The “I have a nightmare” speech

John425 - “…and if I had ANY military records, I wouldn’t release them either.

ℛODNEY’S BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

Kerry: “I threw my American flag lapel pin away with my medals.”

Obama: “…and I decided not to wear a flag lapel, before I decided to wear one.”
Kerry: “You da man.”

The Monday Contest is ready for the Texas Two-step.

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