They say that behind every great man is a great woman. Unfortunately behind every one of these so-called "great" women is just a cartoon character.

"Ed Klein was wrong. Clifford the Big Red Dog raped me to produce Chelsea."

"..and that's why I want to represent all Americans. Whether it's felons or, yes, even children like each of you, all should have the right to vote--and all should vote Democrat."

Disney announces three new characters:
Hippy, Dippy, and Snippy.

Please welcome the feature speaker at the Mascot Convention...

"Oh my God! What's that character with the huge head, yellow skin and crazy eyes???"

"Relax, son. It's just your Senator."

The red bitch, the little bitch, and the hairy bitch ... and three mascots. What more could you ask for in a press conference?

Hey, it works for the tobacco companies. Gotta get 'em when they're young.

Moments before Hillary Clinton tore off her mask and revealed that she was the illegitimate child of Judge Doom from 'Who Framed Rodger Rabbit'.

The fantasy of a working socalistic society requires the existance of fantasy characters, as is demonstrated at Hillarys latest speech.

Clifford The Big Red Dog spent the next 15 minutes humping Hillary's leg, which is more action than she's had since 1995.

"And, no, universal health care in my administration would not turn you into a fevered canine, a wide-eyed cat-a-tonic (pause for laugh) or a little girl suffering from gigantism.

"You could, however, be forced into a bad color scheme for a business suit, just like this one actually ..."

The reality-based community takes another step towards becoming indistinguishable from the fantasy-based community.

Her natural constituency comes out of the closet.

Hillary Clinton gives a heartfelt "thank you" to voter Clifford the Big Red Dog and his friends.

"Hillary Clinton would get the $100 bill because the other three are figments of you ****ing imagination."

s/you/your

Disney held a press conference today to announce the cast of their new movie: "The New Golden Girls."

Reporter: "Yes, I realize that Clifford is not a female dog. I was addressing my question to the Senator from New York."

She's a TOON?

"I am so thrilled to be here today, surrounded by the core of my voting base! Thank you so much!"

Our "reality based" campaign is going swimmingly...

Hillary, not wanting any negative publicity, encouraged Dean, Durbin and Pelosi to disguise themselves and blend into the crowd.

"And remember, when I wear blue ... you, human or not, you don't. Peace. Out."

"We have expanded the voting pool to include all cartoon and TV characters and Homer Simpson has agreed to be my running mate. Homer has devised our message to the terrorists.

'Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!'"