Comments on: Caption Contest

By: Milt Vassis

Milt Vassis — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 12:07:46 +0000

We are digging a moat the entire length of the border and we are using the dirt from it to build up New Orleans' dikes.

Then we will put some of Florida's alligators in the moat. See? It's a win-win-win!?

By: Lasting Magic

Lasting Magic — Thu, 25 May 2006 19:45:54 +0000

Man on left
"Heck we sound good. Let's try out for American Idol. On the count of three. One two three."
All
"Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona ..."

By: radio free fred

radio free fred — Thu, 25 May 2006 15:46:33 +0000

"I Hurt My Finger; Can I Get A Purple Heart?"

By: FreakyBoy

FreakyBoy — Thu, 25 May 2006 15:23:55 +0000

"Now Mr. President, when I remove my finger from under Janet's nose, you will see how effective the new Hypno-Detention method is - she will be in a very deep trance, but not fall over. That warehouse behind you is completely full of illegals in the same suspended state, and we need to know what you want us to do? Wake them up and let them go, wake them up and send them back, or build more warehouses?"

By: Junkman

Junkman — Thu, 25 May 2006 05:52:25 +0000

You talk-in' to me boy?

President, my ass--you're going down!!

By: Lasting Magic

Lasting Magic — Wed, 24 May 2006 14:58:29 +0000

"Prioritize, sir. Worry about the border in a few days. Right now, care about American Idol."

By: Scott_T

Scott_T — Tue, 23 May 2006 21:43:16 +0000

Sherrif: You know Mr. President, I really object to just using Praire Dogs as an early warning system here on the border. One we don't know that they'll Yep when an illegal comes across their home to alert us. Two I fear that your plan is to use Oklahoman Praire Dogs because they can be trained, but once they start breeding they'll start outnumbering the illegal immigrants and we'll end just having to shoot them.

President: We can't be shooting illegal alie.. immigrants from Mexico.

Sherrif: Well we can do that too, but I meant the imported dogs from Oklahoma ruining our environment and PETA getting on our case.

By: Rodney Dill

Rodney Dill — Tue, 23 May 2006 19:21:02 +0000

Walls don't fence in people. Ranchers do.

By: Elmo

Elmo — Tue, 23 May 2006 17:42:27 +0000

Border agent Bickle was never lucid without his first cup of coffee: You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? Huh?

By: Elmo

Elmo — Tue, 23 May 2006 17:29:42 +0000

Problem ..... what's the problem? I'll tell ya what the problem is, I haven't won one of these here doggone caption contests in a looong time.

We were talking about immigration?

Oh, did I mention that Emily Litella is my sister?

By: Vern Klassen

Vern Klassen — Tue, 23 May 2006 17:22:55 +0000

I'll tell you what Mr President you go count to 100 and the Gov and I will go and hide.

By: Bithead

Bithead — Tue, 23 May 2006 16:55:14 +0000

Well, we tried setting up a Taco Bell, but that didn't help. Plus we had that yappy little talking dog to deal with.

By: Ingress

Ingress — Tue, 23 May 2006 15:13:42 +0000

"My man says to get outta oil and invest in building materials for fences, walls and levees."

By: Rodney Dill

Rodney Dill — Tue, 23 May 2006 10:12:08 +0000

"Yep, John Kerry was here, he threw some medals over the wall and then left."

By: Bithead

Bithead — Tue, 23 May 2006 02:56:35 +0000

What's that noise, Mr. President?

Why, that's five guys on ATV's dressed in bright blue, just outside the wall.