"Open Up, We're Out Of Oil Of Olay!!!"

"We're Here For 8 Minute Dating."

"Is This Boarder Patrol School?"

"No! No! No! I said Al Tilley. The Bum!"

(Blatantly stolen from The Far Side - and therefore ineligible.)

"Tell Keith Richards To Come On Out, We Wanna Party."

I don't think I can do better than The Manolo (to whom credit for this belongs):

"Ragna-Rock 'N Roll"

"What Do You Mean We're Not Cool Enough To Be Dixie Chicks Fans?"

Levees? What Levee�s? We don�t need no Stinking Levee�s!

"Is your daughter ready for the date?"

The Wizard of Oz gone horribly wrong

"All we wanna do is eat your brains. It's not unreasonable; I mean, no one's going to eat your eyes."

(From the song "RE: Your Brains" by Jonathan Coulton, available for free at jonathancoulton.com)

And a Klingon shall lead them.

We, the Congress of the United States of America, will protect our privileges! If you don't like it, we'll eat you.

"When we few, we happy few, we band of Elsinore brothers were members of the US Army Rangers in Iraq, we ate the livers of forty Iraqi's in one night because they didn't have any fava beans. We were hungry after moving Burnham Wood to High Dunsinane, and when the last bottle of chianti was gone, well..."

In the European tradition of venerating David Hasselhoff, Eurovision's top honors went to a group of overweight, hairy and decaying faux rockers.

Lord of the Rings - - The Musical: Andrew Lloyd Webber's lovesick tribute to Peter Jackson.

And here we were, worried about the decay of European civilization. But now that we've seen the winners of this year's Eurovision contest we can see there's nothing to worry about.

The Immigration Bill awaits a bruising battle in the House of Representatives.

What is in your wallet?

The pre-airbrushing photos from the Dixie Chicks Time magazine cover photo shoot make the rounds on the internet.

International Incubus, the new Simon Cowell contest, held tryouts in prisons across the globe today.

OK...Madonna's just gone eff'n bonkers this tour!

"Hello, Really Extreme Makeover?"

Feeeelings.
Nothing more than feeeeeelings...

The Zombie Workers of America rally:

"What do we want?!"

"Brains!"

"When do we want it?!"

"Brains!"

Democrats held a photo op to introduce which mainstream democratic congress people would be conducting any investigations into impeaching Bush.

1) The remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show just didn't have the same feel as the original with the transvestite being replaced by Kenny Rogers and his bad plastic surgery.

2) I coulda had a V8!!

3) (girls voice) ... and then a bought 4 chainsaws from Sears, 6 Axes from Lowe's, and she never knew about it. (announcer) Protect yourself from identify theft with....

We're knights of the round table
We dance when e're we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impecc-able
We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam alot

(one on left, looking down, into moat)
"Oooo, look Goldfish!"
-- Farside, Gary Larsen.

*- The Few.... The Proud... the Klingon Freestyle Aerobics Team

McGehee: "Hey, I used to live in that neighborhood!"

The Rolling Stones celebrate the release of their 250th album.

(In fact, I think I dated the one in the lower right...)

* Welcome to the Hotel California

* Some typical Chicago Democrats

Governor Bill Richardson daydreamed a trade of this National Guard Unit for any Illegals.

Democratic candidates warmup before the broadcast begins, for New Hampshire's Presidential primary debate.

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

Looks like next year's American Idol is going to be rather...uh...interesting.

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me
Galileo (Galileo)
Galileo (Galileo)
Galileo figaro (Magnifico)...

Dang it Larry! Stop farting!

Around the country, thousands of demons protested the Bush Administration's proposal to build a wall between Hell and the United States.

They say that Washington politicians often lose touch with the American people.

Radio Free Fred, Charles Austin, Bithead, McGehee, and Spacemonkey rush to enter another photo caption contest.

"I Always Look Better When I Wear A Mask."

All we are saaayying...is give peace a chance!!!

the local school board gathers to discuss the dangerous threat to the schools posed by the ten commandments.

"Ooooooklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet
When the wind comes right behind the rain.
Oklahoma, Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I
Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk
Makin' lazy circles in the sky."

"O Lord its hard to be humble, when you are perfect in every wayyy"

What was left on the cutting room floor of the next Scope commercial.

Image consultants for "Gore - 2008" are doing a "test-market" for the candidate's "new look"!

OK, nothing's perfect, but you have to admit that nuclear energy DID reduce our dependence on foreign oil.

Hanson's Comeback Tour coming your way, Summer 2006.

Left-to-right: Janeane Garafalo, Helen Thomas, Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi pose for the cover of the 2008 Women of the Democratic Party calendar.

Errr... that should've been 2007 calendar.

Noone really appreciated this year's Metallica Christmas special...

"Senator, about the immigration bill, a word please."

Born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes.
Woke up this morning,
Got yourself an axe, ah hah,
Got yourself an axe.

There's never a Beowulf around when you need one.

The U.S. Senate - Collective Portrait of Dorian Gray

The Minuteman Civil Defense Corps will install barriers along the 10-mile stretch of private land in Arizona ... right after Happy Hour.

DaveD; you gotta win!