I'm... BATMAN!

"I find you lack of faith -- and your high-pitched giggles -- disturbing."

Premiering this summer, a live-action film remake of "Roger Ramjet!"

He questioned whether his reconnaissance work was really appreciated when they began treating him like a drone.

She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It's lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
(-- Sir Elton John)

Sir, the equipment is great, Sir!

But we really need to rethink the "Flying Squirrel" unit designation.

Does this make me look fat?

What really killed al-Zarqawi

Hi-tech aeronautics. Low-tech weaponry.
"We glide 120 miles or more before landing. Along the way we piss on 'em."

"Mission Ac - Never mind."

1. Black ninjas experiment with 21st century technology didn't turn out as they expected.

2. Patrick Kennedy demonstrates his new method for avoiding police barricades.

3. Tony Snow models the new and improved "Avoiding a Helen Thomas question" escape suit.

4. United Airlines premieres their new "Super Economy" class.

Actually no. I don't think this will really help a covert agent go unnoticed.

The democrats unveiled a plan for a new smart bomb if they were elected in 2008.

Fight-ing sold - iers from the sky,____
Fear-less men____ who jump and die.___
Men who mean____ just what they say, ___
The brave men___ of the Green Ber-et.____

Uhm, could we go back over that "jump and die part again?

In an effort to serve more communities, American Airlines introduced a new class of travel for "flyover country".

What do you mean is supposd to be a surf board.

A publicity still for the porn movie "Tube snakes on a plane".

Remake Of The 1987 Movie "Barfly "

Playing it safe this time, Major Tom redies for his next flight

Garbage Can Inspectors Local #242 To Meet on Thursday.

Gas Prices Driving Many To Alternative Modes Of Travel.

Chuck Yeager Pizza, We Deliver In 30 Seconds Or Less.

High-performance G-suit -- price classified
New glider wings for more accurate deployment via airdrop -- price classified
Singing the tune of the TV show "Batman" while descending on Osama bin Laden -- priceless

Mayor Nagins' Evacuation Plan Is Coming Together.

You ever try skateboarding in this thing?

Unfortunately for Captain Anime, cosplaying as a B-2 Stealth Bomber didn't seem to have teh same effect on terrorists.

Though originally designated as an Airforce weapon system, the plate of refried beans needed for the RATO launch greatly influenced the weapon's shift over to the Marines.

"Sure it looks cool, but have you ever tried going to the bathroom with this damn thing on?"

I'd hate to see the in-flight toilet facilities.

I am the flying decider!!!!

"I got a rocket in my pocket. No way for you to stop it."

"Here I am to save the day."

"And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy."

"Sky pilot, how high can you fly?"

"Believe it or not, I'm walking on air."

"A wing and a prayer will guide you."

"Put your arms around me, baby, put your arms around me baby, I just wanna fly."

"And I'm floating in a most peculiar way..."

"Do you know the way to San Jose?"

"Greased and slicked down body, groovy leather trim..."

"That's really super, Supergirl."

"They fly through the air with the greatest of ease, those daring young men with their flying machines."

"Swing low chariot come down easy, taxi to the terminal zone. Cut your engines and cool your wings and let me make it to the telephone."

"On the march, Berlin to Bomber's Bay. Traveling dark, on the road to Mandalay."

"Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead, jump."

Run silent, run deep really freakin high!

"Fly my pretties, fly!"

"Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!"

So she says, "take a flying leap", and I says, "OK."

"You'll always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow."

An Air Force of one.

After attaching the end of the ball of string he told Johnny, Jr. to run away from him really, really fast.

1) The British try to revitilize the Super-spy genre with "Jetson, George Jetson, 007".

2) You should see where the fuel line is located. Apparently the requirement is to eat 32oz of refried beans before flight.

3) "What do I say? Oh yeah, Go-Go Gadget Jetpack!!" WOossh.

Parachute. Para-Shit. Power Shit.

"Hi. Is your daughter home?"

Even Kos had to admit sales of his new book were slooooow. So, in an effort to make a buck, he opened an adult fantasy camp for Liberals. Each session attendee receives two hits of acid and a reissue silver convention CD (Fly Robin Fly).

To Stupidity and Beyond.

If only these had existed when Jeffrey Leonard was doing his "one flap down" home run trot.

In three years it will be an event at the X-Games. In twelve years it will be a Summer Olympic Event.

"Highway to the Danger Zone. Gonna take you
right into the Danger Zone."

President Ahmadinejad models Iran's latest Stealth Bomber technology and notes that it can deliver over 120,000 kilos of high explosives to any point on earth without being detected or stopped! Now be a good Christian Mr. Bush and convert to Islam!

Braniff makes a comeback.

With the Air Force privatizing more and more of it's manpower, Lockheed-Martin announces a "less maintenance intensive" aircraft for their next generation stealth aircraft.

The USAF decided to get some recruits at Flugtag this year.

Top Gunless.

The lieutenant was stoked until he found out about the "aerial refueling" maneuver.

The best part is, when the "pilot" kicks his legs the enemy radar thinks it's just a random guy that fell out of an airplane.

"For your safety, the 'Fasten Your Seatbelt' sign will remain on for the entirety of the flight."

He's just the fall guy.

Dennis Kucinich anounces the official launch of his 2008 Presidential bid . . .

In the event of a Hillary victory in 2008, the USAF brass have designed a special untested aircraft for her to pilot when she lands on an aircraft carrier to deliver her "Mission and Funding Terminated" speech.

After nearly losing his head when the giant rubber band snapped on the balsa wood stealth fighter, Iranian Air Force test pilot Capt. Mohamed Mohamed couldn't believe he drew the short falafel again.

"It is ok. But frankly, I was hoping for one of those small Hummers."

Avoid the crowds, the lines, even the terminal. Call your travel agent today and book an inaugural flight on Vertigo Air. Special promotional pricing in effect until June 30, 2006. Not good with any other offer. Not available to those under 4' 6" or over 250 lbs. Not responsible for any loss of luggage, hearing, or damage to shoes during landing.

Al Gore begins an inconvenient search for a cooler planet.

Unfortunately, the "landing gear" usually takes a beating.

Pilots found it much easier to sneak up on enemy aircraft in their new camouflage suits.

Shortly after death, Zarqawi leaned that his black wings would take him only one direction.

Irregardless of President Bush's attire, Democrats keeping harping that "Mission Accomplished" is really "Mission Impossible."

Wile E. Coyote. Soooper Genius!!

If you thought those guys with two pieces of carry-on luggage were a pain just wait for the "Personal Escape Suit" people getting on the plane.

You want to put what on the bottom of my feet?

Democratic fashion consultants are working to update John Kerry's Vietnam Vet "look" for the next presidential convention.

"No, I'm not paying for the starch."

You're on a plane and the wife nags or there is a crying baby or the sleeping person next to you drools on your shoulder or dumb and dumber sit next to you. The Fast-Getaway.

"Which red thing? Oh, that red thing. They said, 'You never touch that red thing.' So, I don't know. What? No, you can't. Well, wait. It would be you and not me, right? Go ahead. Find out. Touch it."

"Hey Eddie! You should see what I got on EBay! It is soooooooooo gonna impress the chicks at the Star Trek convention next week!"

Having successfully completed Phase I, test pilot Rick Danger prepares for Phase II: having a jet engine shoved up his @ss.

"The Mark IV is the latest in stealth and miniaturization technology. It will allow us to be even more effective...than...uh...oh hell! Who'm I kidding? I look like a dork, don't I!?!?"

Old pajamas, a motorcycle helmet, the styrofoam from the box the new fridge came in, spray paint, and too much free time. 'Nuff said.

"Actually, the hardest part was learning how to land on these Heelys."