In the wake of numerous accidents, the Mormon church has mandated the use of scooters by their missionaries, rather than the traditional bicycle.

Unable to comply with agreed-to Kyoto Protocol guidelines, Putin has order his citizens to abide by a stringent new measure - using scooters.

Best Buy, having officially built the largest computer store in the world, now has a unique solution to helping people find their way around.

Harry Potters little Brother Hammy, just never quite got the whole Quiddich thing

Bob quit smoking when cigarettes cost over $2 a pack. He stopped driving when gas exceeded $3 a gallon. Bob's favorite slacks just went up in price. Hmmmmmm.

The Al Gore campaign announced today that it will only be using alternative transportation, giving up their jetting from place to place, while preaching environmentalism.

(Hey, we DID say it was a fantasy, right?)

A new reality show, The Corporate Triathlon, consists of forty flights of stairs, 2 miles on a scooter, and 15 minutes brown nosing Donald Trump.

Democrats, unhappy with the outcome of their last two presidential nomination races, have decided to try something a little different for 2008.

JJ Redick didn't catch any breaks when caught "driving a scooter under the influence".

The remake of "How the West was Won" contained numerous historical inaccuracies as show in this scene depicting the CHEROKEE LAND RUN of 1893.

John Boy Walton eventually left the quite mountain for the faster pace of city life.

It sucks, only having 15 minutes for lunch!

Outtake from The Matrix

Go Speed Racer, Go Speed Racer, GOOOOOO!

Andrei the Hydrant.

The new Lowe's Scootering Race Team seemed to lack the country-hip sophistication of their NASCAR siblings.

Zory surmounted the obvious wind resistance issues with a combination of brute force and a good squirt of Vitalis.

Must get to Tosche Station...
Must get power converters...

Kossacks

I soy with my little eye, someone who isn't going to score at the prom.

Hollywood is remaking the 50's classic "The Wild One" with an up beat contemporary story about netroots activist coming into DC and upsetting the political establishment.

Ben Rothleisberger adopts a marginally safer mode of transportation, though perhaps a helmet would still be a good idea.

Those crazy Kos Kidz keep bringing scooters to motorcycle fights.

The Michiel Moore re-make of "Smokey and the Bandit, Part II"

A glimpse of the morning commute undertaken by lawyers and paralegals defending Lewis I. "Scooter" Libby.

Why Putin is likely to remain in office.

To the general surprise of all spectators, it turned out light blue really IS faster than dark blue.

Little Johnny was growing up so fast. Rushing off to his first summer job and getting his first razor.

Bill Gates has hung up his Razor Scooter and escaped from the Rat Race.

Proof positive that public restrooms in NYC are too far apart to reach by walking.

[puff] I'm [puff] going for [puff] the new [puff] Kenny G album. [puff]

I think my buds where lying when they said this thing would make me look cool.

The Secret Service detail cleverly kept the Press Corps occupied while the President boarded Air Force 1 for his trip to Iraq.

Tom forgot it was casual Friday.

The annual "Scooting with the Nerds" takes place today in Provo Utah.

"And there's hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut."

The 2008 Kucinich campaign gets underway ......

A five dollar donation gets a green wristband.

Fifty dollars gets a green mobile.

One hundred? The laughing stock of the blogosphere.

Patrick Kennedy was left with only one way to race to his next vote. Of course, it was hardest on his staffers.

In this never before seen outtake from Al Gore's new movie, we see his vision for the only vehicles that would meet stringent Federal standards if he were to win election (or, in his words, re-election) to the presidency in 2008.

When the chicks said that men with small wienies drive big trucks, Herbert knew just what to do.

James Joytner getting to his next interview.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, catch Jessica Simpson and make her mine!

Out of the WAAAAAAYYYYY!!! Number 2 is gunnna happen!!!

The key to the executive washroom at Pixar came at a price...

PITTSBURGH (AP) Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger (here seen leaving the hospital), appears likely to play this season. Previously his helmetless head had shattered a car windshield, after which he was then tossed high into the air. During an accident on his 200 miles per hour 2005 Suzuki Hayabusa.

Roethlisberger might miss part or most of training camp but could be ready for the Sept. 7 opener against Miami. Dr. Larry Jones, the chief of Mercy Hospital's trauma unit said that Roethlisberger's brain was functioning normally, although the QB has a concussion.

To avoid any potential difficulties with team management, new contract clauses, or the continued wrath of fans. Roethlisberger will now only indulge in going really fast on a Razor scooter while yelling yippee!

In Soviet Russia, scooter races you!

The race is on to replace Bill Gates.

The unexpected news that Kevin announced the winners to a Wizbang's Caption Contest on time, causes a captioning-nerd riot to stampede to the nearest free wireless hotspot.