Hey Frank, those German soccer balls are a lot smaller than what we're used to in America...

No hands?!? What kind of cockamamie rule...?

German soccer fans showing their support.

Ilse to Greta: Card, Race - - whatever.

Who let the air out of the 3rd set of soccer balls?

Frieda would never admit that her implants exceeded the official start weight of a regulation soccer ball by 4 grams.

Tragedy struck when German player Johann Schmidt, partially blinded and dazed by a meeting with Daniele De Rossi, accidently mistook what he thought was the soccer ball.

Eventually Tom Hanks agreed to a sequel to Cast Away

For the first time, German female soccer fans celebrate being able to finally purchase disposable razors.

World "C" Cup

German feminists at a recent protest march, yell back at hecklers: "Set of balls? Yes,we do!"

The day that Franz Liebkind began to question the whole blonde hair, blue eyed master race thing.

"What shall we wear?"

Do these soccer balls make me look fat?

Officials have red carded number three for improper inflation.

Well we all know what happened the last time the Germans took on the Poles.

The poles immediately responded with teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikinis.

Just goes to show that the Germans do have a sense of humor.

Deutchland, Deutchland,
udder alles...

Ha! This ain't nuthin'! You should see the golf ball tops the babes are wearing at the US Open!

patient: "Doc, I keep seeing spots before my eyes!"

doctor: "Well, let's first run some tests and see what type of medication we..."

patient: "No Doc! You don't understand! I want to see MORE!"

I can't believe anyone's not done this one yet, must be that no Aussies have found the picture yet....

The girls singing "She's got big balls, She's got big balls, I've got the biggest, balls of them all!"

I guess you need to be an AC/DC fan for that one. :)

World soccer officials unveiled their campaign to promote soccer to American viewers by renaming the soccer "ball" the soccer "boob."

First time I've seen a cow with spots on it's udder.

(Udders?)

The first thing you learn in soccer is to keep your eyes on the ball.

Ach! Hilda, I forgot my contact lenses. Tell me, why are we shilling for Gateway?

Hey Hannah, how come nobody else heard that this was the bra zeal match?

Little known fact about World Cup soccer, the German's trademark distraction by their cheerleaders was "Hey player, hey player, lets swing!"

MY EYES... MY EYES....!!! ALL I SEE ARE BLACK SPOTS!

It's just one of those optical illusion thingies, they're all really the same size.

....and we have them available in the official regulation size as well as a smaller version for those just getting interested in the game.

Despite three opportunities, Germany still only managed to score once.

In other news, England football hero George Breast, uh ..., Best recently passed away.

How to get another man to say, "I like balls."

Brandi Chastain, eat your heart out.

And do I get a penalty shot for committing a foul in the box?

Why we don't care if this is why they hate us.

Want to see my lovely one touch pass?

Stan Marsh: "Dude, what the *&*^ is wrong with German people?"
Me: Nothing. Nothing at all.

Les boys do cabaret...

Don't mention the boobs war!

"I see London.
I see France.
Mom's out cheering in her.
Bra and underpants."

Like the German Scoccer team, the German Cheerleaders are also known for great headers.

Maradonna with meatballs.

Ah, the Teutonic nights.

The German remake of Bodacious Ta-Tas lost more than a little in translation.

It was the unshorn "goal posts" that didn't get them asked out that night...

Meanwhile, the French team is cheered on by a group of Frenchmen wearing their soccerball "Jacques" straps.

(Bad taste entries)

Germany's secret weapon: Titzkreig!

Soccer? I haven't even met her.

1.Luckily East Germany is no longer a seperate nation.

2. Right after Germany's match with Iran these women were brutally stoned to death. Hey, gotta respect those cultural differences.

3. "Own Goal" in this case is a veneal sin.

4. Soccer may still put you to sleep, but the dreams will be of a higher quality.

5. For some reason German men still insist on watching the games that are on the television. In a related story, German demographic decline still continues apace.

6. If women have to dress up like soccer balls to get your attention, you might be a football hooligan.

1) Ziggy socky, ziggy socky, Hoi! Hoi! Hoi!
Ziggy socky, ziggy socky, Hoi! Hoi! Hoi!

2) Makes me proud to be half German.

3) Mastercard: It paid for every boob you've wanted to see.