Greetings from the Great Satan

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad visits Madame Tussaudowitz's Wax Museum of Jewish Broadcasters.

And the rabbi says, "Because that's your turn in the barrel!"

You must know, I've never met a dictator I didn't adore!

Well, Dan Rather interviewed Saddam Hussein, and look what happened to him. Just Sayin'.
Wink Wink.

Wallace: Man I love your work Yakov

Wallace: "Will you marry me?"

"I'm Not Afraid Of The N.Y.P.D., Why Would I Be Afraid Of You?"

Wallace: So there I was with Hillary and she whipped off her bra, and her breasts fell down to here.....
Despot: That's so like my wife number #1 who I've been married to for 20 years.

So tell me more about this dhimmitude thing. Are the chains optional if you aren't into the kinky stuff?

So level with me, as a Jew, a westerner, as a liberal who supports free speech and gay rights, what is it going to take to keep me off the death list?

Just relax and you should have no problem with this scene. You did take your Viagra, right?

Reuters admitted tho photo shopping the Wallace/Ahmadinejad photograph. In an effort to remove dust, the position of Wallace on his knees opening Ahmadinejad's fly was slightly altered.

Well you see, the '60 minutes' opening has been around for a very long time and I don't think we actually have a watch like that anymore. Why are you so interested in a watch, or as your translator so quaintly put it, 'a timing device' anyway?

Guy in the back: "I swear if that infidel doesn't keep his hands to himself, I'll kill him no matter what Ahmadinejad says about useful dupes."

As God is my witness, the cyst was that large.

I didn't realize you were that close with Mel Gibson...

I know it's *unusual* for a journalist to ask a despot out on a date, but . . .

Wallace: "Okay, Mahmoud, I know that you're pretty opposed to what I'm suggesting here, but remember: I'm old, and I can take my teeth out . . . any time I want to.

Think about it."

"Once you go octogenarian, you never go back."

Wallace: So really? The Iranian Revolutionary Guard is allowing American Embedded Reporters? Oh, you've heard my views on journalism huh? Good. The price is 20 goats? I don't have that on me, oh I can pay some other way.....

Twats on a plane.

So, I was on a plane, and one infidel said to another, "Where are you flying?" And I said to them, "Like it's gonna matter after I get this bomb put together." HAHAHAHA!

Wallace: "You had me at 'Wipe Israel off the map'"

"If your ever in America we can share a bed-roll on Broke Back Mountain"

I love all of your songs Mr. Loggins

I'LL SWALLOW!

"We really need someone to replace Andy Rooney."

"So Mr. Carell, what was it like working with Greg Kinnear on Little Miss Sunshine?"

I think the world wants to know, how the heck do you pronounce your name?

Also, Bloggin' Outloud is back with captions - http://blogginoutloud.blogspot.com/2006/08/weeks-end-open-post-caption-contest.html
Thanks! lgp

"... and if you want to ambush any American troops, be assured that as a reporter I will not interfere in any manner whatsoever."

"Well, no sir, I'm not Walter Cronkite. But for you, I could be."

"Sir, it is day 9,407 of the Iranian Hostage crisis. As someone who participated in the original takeover of the US Embassy in Tehran, can you tell me how it felt to be part of history?"

Mike Wallace calms a jittery President Ahmadenijad by telling him that the ticking sound he hears is just the introduction to his news program.

"Your men checked me when I entered the room. The hidden Imam isn't in any of my pockets."

"If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?"

"Boxers or briefs?"

"No one else will know, so, just between you and me, Nasrallah is kind of a stinker, isn't he?"

Things deteriorated quickly when in response to President Ahmadenijad's question about whether he had had any coffee, Mr Wallace responded, "No, d'you?"

"Oh no, no, no, no. I assure you that I have more contempt for America than you President Ahmadenijad."

"Yes sir, I've left the Christine Aguilera CDs for you in unmarked jewel cases on that table over there."

"I apologize for the misunderstading. When I told the soundman to lower the boom on Ahmadenijad, I meant to bring the overhead microphone down closer."

Wallace: How does it feel to hold the whole world in your hands?

"Yes, you're right. I'm older than dirt but you're as provocative as sh*t. (as Bush likes to say)"

"Thank you for agreeing to this interview. I've always wanted to interview the #1 man at S.P.E.C.T.R.E."

"So Ahmadenijad, do you know where a guy can get a rub and a tug in this town?"

"I'd like you to meet my friend Bob Hoskins. Bob come on over here."

"Andrew Sullivan wants me to ask you about your policy on waterboarding since he ..., um ..., thought it best to stay home and keep the heat on President Bush."

(CBS NEWS 60 MINUTES/Handout/Reuters) -- Well, that really says it all now, doesn't it?

Mike Wallace: "Sir, some people are saying that you're a lunatic motivated by the belief of an obscure Islamic religious sect that hopes to immanentize the eschaton, that is, to bring about the end of time, perhaps through the development and use of nuclear weapons against the West. Is this true?"
President Ahmadenijad: "No."
Mike Wallace: "Thank you for clearing that up."