"Up yours, Helen."

The President realizes it's time for corrective lenses.

And the second good reason I have for invading Iran is . . .

"It's like that cowboy said in City Slickers. You have to find just one thing that makes you happy. Mine is Cheetos."

Wow -- Bush can't even pronounce "the finger" correctly.

Yes, in this finger, I possess more power than any other man in the universe...with this finger, I can push..the button!

Mr Rather, I could beat you to death with my fists, but you aren't worth that...instead, I'll use my finger...I'd use my right thumb, but I'm merciful.

That is awfully green. Here, what do you think?

In an attempt to satisfy the White House Press Corps, President Bush provides every detail from his last physical.

"My chief weapon is surprise. Surprise, and a fanatical devotion to freedom - two! My two chief weapons are surprise, a fanatical devotion to freedom and the complete lunacy of my political opponents - three! My three chief weapons are surprise, a fanatical devotion to freedom and the compete lunacy of my political opponents. KARdinaL Rove, fetch hither the comfy, smug liberal..."

"You're about to discover why a reasonable facsimile of a poke in the eye with a sharp stick is something generally to be avoided."

"Yes, this is the finger that's on the button. Why do you ask?"

"One more stupid question and you'll be gettin' the next finger!"

We're number one! We're number 1!

Bush celebrates the University of Texas' national title in football.

"I'm THIS close to showing you another finger. You know, kinda like I did for that camera crew a while back."

When you don't care enough to send the very best.

The president articulated the number of times the MSM have been helpful in the war on terror.

While the president's addition of "improvisational visual interpretation" did add to his rendition of "One is the loneliest number", the performance was panned by many for his stiff delivery.

"We will pull out for one meeellion dollars."

Bush licks his finger and sticks it in the wind as millions of liberals gasp in horror and think>>>>oh no! Carl Rove has taught him our party platform, we are doomed, quick get the koolade>>>>

One more dumb question from any one of ya and Ima gonna go a on a G-had!!!

"I only listen to the big guy up there."

"Would you look at that! I broke my fingernail." Clears his throat, "You were saying?"

I'd like to wish Bill Clinton a happy 60th birthday. I'd also like to warn him about his next physical.

"To the moon, Helen, to the moon..."

A very PO'd Bush, emphatically points out to the blogosphere the proper spelling of "the".

And then Karl said "Do you feel this, George? This is what it feels like hwne you lose..."

In the words of Frank Zappa "There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over..."

"This is half of a peace sign Gregory. Do you prefer the other half?"

Sit and spin Tom...Sit and spin.

George Bush announced a daring new program to include the first journalist astronaut in the upcoming lunar missions, telling the press audience, "One of these days, Helen, bang zoom to the moon!"

1) "And then my proctologist said to me, 'Georgie, you can't honestly tell me this smells like Roses!'"

2) You know what Helen? This is as close as I can get to giving you the bird on national television!

Is that a wart?

At a press conference today, the President emphatically notes the number of planets remaining after the recent cutbacks.

I'm getting sleepy. Verrryyy sleepy...

Dyslexic ... ? I'll show you dyslexic!

Ya think the NSA only spies on citizens? I seen your shower pictures David Gregory .... look familiar little man?

Simon says ....

The President reveals the results of the latest international study, to quantify the true number of moderate Muslims.

The President joins Bill Clinton in having noodled on eBay. Displaying the item he currently has up for auction, a Presidential booger.

I only see one exit strategy from Iraq, and that's due East.

President Bush demonstrates how he got George Allen to say mycaca.

"... and so I was telling Christopher Hitchens how to respond to an unruly bunch of Angry Left know-nothings should he happen to encounter any."

This little piggy went to market, this little piggy...oh, it's supposed to be toes?

"One singular sensation.
Every little step I take.
One thrilling combination.
Every move that I make.
One war and suddenly
Nothing else will do.
You know you'll never be at peace
With you know who."

"You heard me use the 'S' word with Tony that one time. One sh*ttin' time!"

The rule of law doesn't apply to me. I have set up a scheme to kidnap people, hide them in prisons, torture them, and deny them access to lawyers. I have no conscience. I am the sole decider. You better watch out.