Yo! Jenny Craig! Little help here???

Striking evidence of global swelling.

"Denny Crane!"

March of the Penguins.

The photographers covered every angle being unsure which side of Al was going to do the talking today.

Thanks for asking ....yes, it's true. I'm thinking of regrowing the beard.

Dear Dairy,

Today I learned about something else I'm allergic too.

I told them the collar's too tight.

As inconvenient as the truth can be, the tux just didn't fit like it did 6 years ago.

Hey Monica, hello ..... what's up? Don't you remember me? I used to work for Bill.

Bill who?

Clinton. Right ..... that Bill.

Once again the media was tricked by another ALGORE decoy.

Al Gore Introduces New Spandex Tux..

The Native American Association of Tobacco Shop Operators unveiled the prototype "Wooden White Man" statue slated to greet customers at their retail stores this fall.

Cameras were ready as the ManBearPig walked down the red carpet wearing an Al Gore mask.

"He played on our fears! Yes, I'll take another beer."

Al Gore turns his best side to the cameras.

"I'm off to invent the next new thing! That or to claim I invented it. Golly, six of one ..."

One photo editor to another:
"Dang! If bloggers caught the Couric photoshop there's no way in h3ll we're gonna get away with 'fixing' this one!"

A little grayer, a little plumper, but still crazy after all these years.

Photographer yelling:
"HEY FATA$$$! Down in front, we can't get a shot of Paris Hilton!"

Embarrassed by a recent report on Global Warming, former Vice-President Algore refused to answer charges that he actually produced more methane than all the cattle in the Southwestern United States.

Thought bubble:
"...and as President Algore steps up to the plate the crowd goes wild!"

"I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille!!"

I think this movie business is causing his head to swell.

The Japanese robot could raise both arms.

Yes Al, people do think Clint Eastwood is 'one tough dude', but I don't think squinting like him is going to make people think you have the national security cajones to be president.

In a move reminiscent of recent Russian-Ukrainian political maneuverings, it has been revealed that Hillary Clinton was behind the Al Gore dioxin poisoning that caused his body to swell so much.

Hey Al, put your arm down, you may see it as an inconvenient truth but your deodorant just isn't cutting it.

Al, I know you really enjoy this film stuff and admire Moore's work, but I'm telling you, Moore's secrets not in the daily box of Twinkies.

Al Gore mad a bold fashion statement when he appeared at the Cannes film festival without pants.

Oh, the hell with it...

...Heil BusHitler!

Wait, comeback. If you don't like the film I'll do my speech live for you.

Al attended the film accompanied by his ego.

"So Long, Thanks for the Fish!"

The photographers just could not stop taking pictures of the gigantic ass they now faced.

1) Hey Ahmednejad, how-ya-doing? I'm glad I didn't qualify under your definition of liberal intellectual. (See Alex's post below this one) :D

2) And then the press people took down their inflatable Al Gore after the paparatzi left, them not being the wiser that it had just been a doll.

Al Gore at the premeire of his one-man-play Love Story.

The former vice president, pictured above, waives farewell to his sanity.

Superhero Gore prepares to stop gaz-guzzling SUV with incredible mutant hand.

Actually I think Kirstie Alley looked better with more weight on her.

Harry, from Third Rock From The Sun, has not aged well.

"I invented intercourse."

Excuse me, miss? I just wanted to say... I'd hit that.

Goodbye Reality!!!

Al Gore announced today that his next project to stop global warming would be to go to Antarctica and live among the penguins to get a first-hand account of how their lives are changing.

Those who complained that Daniel Craig was the worst James Bond ever were to regret their actions when his replacement was announced.

Hey look everybody...Charles Durning!! I loved him in "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" (looks like he's put on a little weight though)

When Al Gore shows off his full back Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse tattoo he raises and lowers his left arm rapidly to give Pestilence an eerie resemblance to Karl Rove.

Mime is still harder than it looks.

Earth in the Balance, with Al Gore as counterweight.

Look Marshall Duncan, Mordecai has a big boy tie on.

An Inconvenient Fool.

Al Gore declares his solidarity with the boat people of Cannes.

Singing: And I'm proud to be an Ameri-Cannes, where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget that George Bush lied about the WMD. And I'll proudly stand up next to Kos and defend Lamont today. 'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land, it's not the USA!

Apparently, Naomi Wolf has advised Al Gore to put on forty pounds in his quest to be an alpha male.

Team anti-America, F*#&^ Yeah!

Thank God I'm a country boy!

And this year's Palm D'or for the most outlandish Bush Derangement Syndrome documentary by an overweight American leftist goes to...

You put your left hand in...

After starring in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Mark Holton, the actor who played the fat evil kid who stole Pee-Wee's bike, went on to - oh, wait. That's Al Gore.

"Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the fish."

"Mr. Gore, Mr. Gore, if you were a tree, what kind of ..., oh, never mind."

"See, new Hairy-Palm-B-Gone works in only three days!"

"I have just visited Suri Cruise. I wish I had her hair. I wish I had her money. I wish I had won the presidency. What was your question?"

Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore, entering at right, looks somewhat green as a wooden model, center, steals the attention of the local paparazzi.

His former self was but a shadow of the man he had now become . . .

Tuxedo by Armani - - Body by Hostess.

I am not an intellectual! Not that there's anything *wrong* with that . . .

I for one welcome our Islamic Overlords!

Wait a minute... that's not hairgel.

* While vacationing, many people take pictures of trees.

* The appearance of an Ent at the Democratic national Con.... Oh, wait, it's only AlGore.

Another Ted Kennedy wannabee.

Yes, it IS the Michael Moore Diet Plan, why do you ask?

Sara! Sara Lee!

"I enhanced your lives. Gave you blogs, instant information ... in a nutshell a worldwide system of computer networks. And instant porn."

"The Great Goredini" shows up to do card tricks at Sally Waterman's 9th birthday party.

DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!

Out of work and unable to afford snack bar prices, Algore snuck two handfulls of peanuts into the theater by stuffing them into his cheeks.

He never COULD get that Vulcan "live long and prosper" hand sign right!

Algore arrives at the premier with his date for the evening.

Hey Al! So how's that Cindy Sheehan diet working for ya?

Well, they say that the camera adds ten pounds and that's...1...2...3 cameras.

"Get in mah Belly."

Don't knock it! Everyone looks like this at birth.

My water pills aren't working.

Someone pull the plug before I explode!

My girdle is on too tight!

Just fart, dammit.

The Return Of Underdog And Tennessee Tuxedo..

"Here I am arriving in Hawaii. Back when Bill and I would travel together, we'd get different leis upon arrival."