(From truck): Hey babe, wanna' see our blue helmets?

Nope, keep driving. She looks over eighteen.

1. The newest version of the "Party Bus."

Ma'am, could you give us a push? We're, uh, sorta stuck in the sand here!

Unsupervised, the UN's peace-keepers tend to become piece-seekers.

Considering how well they patrol everywhere else...stay out of the water!

Shark in the water? Quick, Look the other way.

The UN arrives in Lebanon to shoot the second season of "UN gone Wild".

"Best not to send the wife any photos just yet. That's one small war zone for us, one giant beach and whore zone to my wife."

Coming Soon, Baywatch Beruit

If Bill Clinton had served.

Keep driving Raul. We aren't in the Sudan anymore and she is too old for us anyway.

"Being over the age of 15, Pam knew she was safe from rape at the hands of UN Peacekeepers."

"No its okay, I'm NOT hungry enough to do you."

On maneuvers, the French UN contingent practices surrendering to a random Lebanese sunbather.

French UN troops test their latest high tech field communications device: "Le Microphone de Monsieur".

Nah, shes to old. Lets patrol down by the elementary school.

The French have apparently landed.

UN-cool

Pull over. I think we ought to take the resolution language literally and do some intense searching for arms.

Moo!

The French? Yes they were here an hour ago, but headed in the other direction.

UN observing a Zionist occupying a beach chair.

Despite their best efforts, the personnel of the UN Commission On Exotic Beach Resorts were never able to blend in with the native population.

1) The French version of going down to the beach, driving in reverse.

2) The next Israeli attrocity waiting to happen, a missile through a UN Ambulance at a beach just before it was to run over a mine.

Soldier #1: Can't we get out now?
Soldier #2: Not yet, HQ still hasn't radioed back with clarifications on the rules of engagement.
Soldier #1: I wish I was back in the French Foreign Legion, There weren't any rules of engagement other than finding a bottle of wine and music.

"They're coming right for us!"

The UN finds yet another way to spin its wheels and accomplish nothing with great fanfare and celebration.

Hey lady! Could you help us put some sunscreen on the spare?

Turtle Bay Watch.

"No, the UN Peacekeeping Force rules of engagement say she's too old for us."

UNIFIL troops finally located a set of missiles.

"We're here from the transnational world government, and were here to help ... ourselves."

Club Gitmo-re

"Dude, Lebanon has the skimpiest looking burkas."

"Jaques, you eediot! she's Leban-ESE!You said there'd be lesBIANS! Eediot!"

While the UN peacekeepers refused to wear the "Weapons Inspector" vests, they had no problem sporting their "Bikini Inspector" t-shirts...

UNFIL surveys suitable areas for burying their heads.

Conversation inside the cab: "I don't care what Nasrallah says about conditions for disarmament, we can't possibly pack THIS much sand!!!!!"

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we're not allowed to get out of our vehicle. If we do, any punk in the world can kick sand in our face with total impunity."

Dum dum. Dum dum. Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ...

Can't you see 'em circlin' honey, can't you see 'em schoolin' around? You got Poles to the left, Fins to the right and you're the only game in town.

Can’t you see ‘em circlin’ honey, can’t you see ‘em schoolin’ around? You got Poles to the left, Finns to the right and you’re the only game in town.

(There's no use trying to be homonymically clever if you don't spell it correctly. Jeez.)

This is not a credible force for good. -- Rene Magritte.

And to your left, ladies and gentlemen, you'll see the rare, endangered blonde arab.

Marseilles (AP) -- French president Chirac announced today that he has negotiated an agreement with the U.N. to deploy French troops to the Riviera.

All your bazooms are belong to us.

We claim this planet in the name of blue d*ckless wonders everywhere.

Hit the beach!

We have you surrounded ..... come out with your nipples up.

"I'm here to service and protect, m'am."

Requested by former president Carter, international observers arrive in California for the 2004 presidential elections. A scheduling snafu was quoted as to the reason for arriving almost two years after the elections. "We may be late", says on observer, "but at least we're here."

In Lebanon, peacekeepers nailed down a few tried and true rules of engagement.

With Khatami's confirmmation as the new Secretary General, UNIFIL begins their first Burkha patrol.

"I was wishing for two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, but, she'll do."

7UP Will Go Any Where To Make A Sale