No matter how hard they tried, Al Qaeda just couldn't seem to find good people anymore.

Signs that the Democrats have gained control of the government can be seen all across America.

Perhaps the advertisement highlighting the 'First Lesson is Free' should have specified that students DRIVE there.

Note taped to sign: "The wind blew it there. Really."

From the tree, Lew phoned his wife to say that he was hung up at work.

Ah, LJD beat me to it, tho I was more on the lines of "It had seemed elementary that one did not *fly* to one's first flying lesson -- but no."

Indignant, Jeff noted that he had successfully avoided the grain elevator, the water tower and the electric wires.

From phugoid to fubar . . .

Grade: C-minus.

Instructor's Notes: Needs to work on landing skills.

"The day Ted Kennedy lost his pilot license."

"I didn't know Teddy had a new mistress."

Brangelina attempt to teach too young Maddox to fly also.

Bush - "I said no guns, no Halloween scares, can't drive nothing. So you let Cheney pilot a plane."

The New York Times revealed another classified program today when they disclosed the "Learn to fly honey trap" that had been luring would be terrorist hijackers to their death.

Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing ... but what if you break your leg climbing out of the tree?

The FAA rejected the pilots explanation of a "Whomping willow" as the cause of the crash.

So when the leaves fell this winter, I found the plane my drunk brother in law borrowed last spring.

Notice there is no sign for "Learn to land here".

The short lived resurgence of Air America

or

We control the air!

“The day Ted Kennedy lost his pilot license.”

Instructor's comments: "As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly."

"As near as I can tell, they were trying to fly through that barn upside down."

At length, Fred began to have second thoughts about his online flight school degree.

A good landing is one you can walk away from.

A good landing is one you can walk away from; a great landing is one where you can use the plane again.

Re: Rodney's Dill's

"The day Ted Kennedy lost his pilot license.”

Instructor’s comments: “As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly.”

Shouldn't that be "As God is my witness I thought he had enough wild turkey to fly" ?

Recovered from the black box:

". . . .No. My left. MY left."

... Among the other damages, the pilot was asked to pay for replacement of the 'No Parking' sign he knocked over.

1) Ye olde proverb of "Fly Low and avoid the radar", can be dangerous.

2) Confusic (sp?) say;
When flying through the air,
the eagle and Oak may not occupy same place.

3) Pilot's fortune cookie before flight, "Unmoveable Tree beats Flying Bird."

4) #1 reason why not to get a Hmmmmm'er while flying.

5) Charlie Brown's 1st plane.

...Australian for
Christmas Tree

Asked how he was able to survive such a horrible crash without a scratch, the survivor, Mr. B. Bunny, replied, "Well, yeah, see, I never studied law."

First attempt:
Rock, paper, scissors
Tree, plane, ?

Second attempt:
In todays news: A local prop driven lumber gatherer...failed!

A simple case of "follow that robin."

I'm learnin' to fly ...
but I ain't got wings ...
Comin' down is the hardest thing

Mr Carlson: As God as my Witness... I thought Turkeys could fly...

"George of the Jungle learns to fly"

"It's not a block plane , stupid"

It's plane to see, It's a hegemony!

SEE WHAT HAPPENS! when you cross a sequoia with a venus FLY trap!!

I told you so!! You can't trim the hedge with your propeller!!

Where raccoon pilots go when faced with a dogfight!!

YOU "oughta pilot" when there's no "autopilot"

Looks like "Sky King" will have to take up "Hi-king"

Barbara Walters: "If you were to fly into a tree, what kind of tree would you fly into?"

"Looks like I picked the wrong day to start sniffing glue."

Overheard several miles away: "Dude, where's my plane?"

Blame Overgrown Bush!

"Harrumph! Harrumph! Don't be hasty. Harrumph!"

Mourning Wood.

So the Garps still haven't taken that plane down out of their treehouse?

"OK, I probably need to start out a little simpler with you. 'Bird' is just kind of a slang word we use for an airplane."

Okay, let's try that again, this time with your eyes OPEN!

"Hey, honey, remember when our neighbors the Smiths took up flying after they became empty nesters? Well, you're not gonna believe this....."

Miss Pringle, couldn't you wait at least until we reached a mile up?

"Look, he didn't think LEARN TO FLY HERE meant the tree. That's a weird idiom and they should change the sign."

Famous last words: "Just remember, the tree is 90% air."

If God had wanted man to fly he wouldn't have invented tall trees.

Moving NAVAIDS aorund is all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.

Jeffrey Leonard's one-flap down theory didn't work in real life.

Good evening. This is your Captain. We are about to attempt a crash landing. Please extinuish all cigarettes. Place your tray tables in their upright, locked position. Your Captain says: Put your head on your knees. Your Captain says: Put your head on your hands. Captain says: Put your hands on your head. Put your hands on your hips. Heh heh. -- Laurie Anderson

Famous last words: "What does this button do?"

FAA investigators continue to search for the root causes of this morning's light plane crash near Bill Kelso Field.

Did you notice the "How's My Flying" sticker on the tail?

Are you sure you're a pilot?
No, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night.

(Erkle voice) "Did I do that?"

Instructer to Student: "I said, take us to the 'POPULAR' landing site, POPULAR not POPLAR!!!!"

Missed it by that much!

Learn to fly here. Learn to crash there.

Thus ended the first solo flight of the Chinese student pilot, Wun Wing Lo.

Are you kidding? American Aviation will pay us MILLIONS to take our tree fort down!!

"Well, you had it nearly right, Henny Penny."

The motto of "Left turns only" does not apply that well to aviation.

Blond, James Blond