"Paris! Stay hot and get your new bag! I'm coming to break you out!"

Be vewy, vewy quiet . . . I'm hunting papawazzi . . . heh-heh-heh-heh!

Now that's a killer ensemble.

"I traded my dog, Tinkerbell, for this gun. I call him Uzi Doozy."

So that's what a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range looks like.

"Is this thing on?"

"When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk." -- Tuco Bendicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez.

The alternate The Sopranos ending filmed, but ultimately rejected, by David Chase.

All fashion flows from the barrel of a gun.

She's loaded for snipe.

Venkman: "That's why you're not s'posed to cross the beams."

Well, fair is fair...YOU shoot, I SHOOT!

Miss N.R.A. 2007 on her way to the Mexican border.

Ready! Fire! Aim!

The NRA's membership drive started today..."I'm NRA, and I'm hot."

1. "You talkin' to me?!"

2. Paris Hilton displaying which "Mommy" she was yelling for in the court room.

3. That's hawt.

4. The new NRA beauty pageant is now in full swing.

1) They are already writting the scrips for Paris's new movie, Scary Movie 5: Out like Bond.

2) The new targets at the Beverly Hills Gun Range were guarented to be lifelike, just how the celebrities liked it.

3) With best Valley Girl accent, "So, like, does this scope make me look fat"? Bubblegum pop.

No I am not Sarah Conner you idiots!

(That voice over guy from the movies).... "Paris Hilton is back. This time, she's drunk AND pissed!"

Walk softly and carry a big firestick.

Now there's a gal who knows how to date Phil Spector.

Previously covert Valeria Plame switches to overt operations.

Tonya Harding hatches new plan to win Olympic gold.

When a Gilmore girl goes ballistic.

Columbine grad accepted at Virginia Tech.

Ever notice how paparazzi don't photograph the muzzle end?

First Army recruiter to meet quota this year.

Alternate Sopranos Finale: Tony looks up just in time to see the start of Paris Hilton's shooting rampage.

"My favorite movie? 'Falling Down', and yes,ALL of you camera jockies are toast!"

1)"Daddy! The trust fund check was late again!"

2)Surprisingly,Miss Hiltons' figure can be explained by a religious adherence to the, "eat only what you (can) kill" diet plan.

3)"Body guard? I don't need no stinking body guard !!"

The Range is Haawt!

... and in Mr. Lucas' director's cut, Paris Hilton fires first.

"I'm sorry Miss but the law says your IQ and your caliber combined have to surpass 100 to carry a weapon openly on the street."

The Terminatrix

The Dear Hunter

Apocalypse Wow

"Say hello to my little friend."

Ban Scary Looking Assault Weapons Now! And things that shoot bullets too!

Fashionistas Unite! Viva la Revolucion!

"You can have my rifle when you pry it from my cold, dead, ... ouchee, I broke a nail!"

"Happiness is a warm gun."

This ain't no party, this ain't no disco,
this ain't no fooling around!
No time for dancing, or lovey dovey,
I ain't got time for that now.

1. The shock absorber butt plate does add ten pounds to the weight, but it practically eliminates recoil shock.

2. As you can see, my diet has not diminished my strength.

3. When I go hunting I fill my quota.

4. You've got a choice, you can pay your alimony...

5. It can take out a camera at over a mile.

"I'll be legally released from jail because I'm hot. And, thanks to this, I'll spring many great unwashed prisoners. Hot, huh?"

Paris Hilton is starting to fit into the prison culture, even making a crude weapon for the inevitable fights.

Despite her request to send "Lawyers, guns and money", Paris Hilton remains in jail.

Dear Paris - For when you become a former prisoner, we have found several potential matches for you. 1 - Gary Condit, a former Congressman 2- Former LAPD detective Mark Fuhrman 3- Former football star O.J. Simpson 4- Former talk show host and prior member of The View, Rosie O'Donnell. Sincerely, Match.com

"Martha Stewart taught me how to carve a fake gun from a bar of soap before I was incarcerated."

...And with one 10 second burst of hollow-points into the flock of blood sucking "journalists", Miss Hilton moves ahead of Fred Thompson in the polls.

"Here, Judge. Here, Judge"...Paris yells after aquirering some 'guidence' from her new found friends in prison.

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"

(Special David Chase homage entry): She's a Killer Queen, gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laserbeam. Guaranteed to blow

Paris, the head lass Thompson gunner.
Time, time, time, for another video.
Conrad's bravest hon.
But time stands still for Paris, 'til she evens up the score.
You can still see this head lass' body stalking through the net,
In the scuzzy flash of Paris' Sony cam,
In the scuzzy flash of Paris' Sony cam.

"Anybody know how to get to Holsten's?"

"Anybody know how to get to Holsten's? I've been looking for it for three days now."

You woke up this morning
Got yourself a gun,
Mama always said you'd be
The Chosen One.

She said: You're one in a million
You've got to burn to shine,
But you were born under a bad sign,
With a blue moon in your eyes.

You woke up this morning
All the love has gone,
Your Papa never told you
About right and wrong.

But you're looking good, baby,
I believe you're feeling fine, (shame about it),
Born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes.

You woke up this morning
The world turned upside down,
Thing's ain't been the same
Since the Blues walked into town.

But you're one in a million
You've got that shotgun shine.
Born under a bad sign,
With a blue moon in your eyes.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. You figure out which is which.

"I'm ready for jail now, Sheriff Baca."

"All right. Who said my beaver has herpes?"

Paris got a gun
Paris got a gun
Whole scene's come undone
What'd the old judge do?
What'd he put her through?

When Paris was arrested they she had booze on the brain
Now Paris' got a gun she aint never gonna be the same

Corrected Version:

Paris got a gon
Paris got a gun
Whole scene's come undone
Paparazzi on the run

What did the ol' judge do?
What did he put her through?

When Paris was arrested they found she had booze on the brain
Now Paris' got a gun aint nothing gonna be the same