Kerry: "Now, on the campaign trail, you CAN reverse your positions multiple times without consequences."

Obama: "...i feel the need to kiss you Senator."

B.O.: "I just love it when you speak French to me."

J E'ffn K: "Keep your hands on top of the table, you nitwit."

Passing the torch of incoherence to a new generation of senators.

Kerry: ok Barak...You need to keep hitting Hilary Hard where it...

Obama: I know what you did last Summer...

JFK: "OK, Obama, I know you're new to this public testimony thing, but if you're gonna make it here always make sure your question is ten times longer than the General's answer."

F'nKerry: Wellll OK. But no tongue!!!

BO: My wife doesn't understand me...

F'nKerry: You know...you remind me of a young Jenjis Kahn.

Obama: Touch my water, honky, and I'll mess your hair up.

Obama - "Servicing Oprah and now, your wife. Tiring."
Kerry - "I'll get you some pills. Bill told me about them."

Dude, John.. listen.. turn your hand the other way

I'm in yor chamberz, steelin yor kissez.

Two liberals plot a strategy for America's defeat.

Kerry: "If you ever get the chance to marry a rich woman, do it."

If you tap my toe one more time...

Listen I'm articulate and bright and clean. I don't need your advice.

I think Bush is vulnerable in '08. I think we can get him out of office.

Ebony and Ivory live together in political harmony
Side by side on the committee, oh Lord, why don't we?

No, I'm not taking applications for the number two spot.

I'm telling you kid, I could of been a contender. Just 60,000 vote swing in Ohio and I would have gone to the big show.

Mmmm. Your hair smells terrific.

Pssst…..John….have ya ordered your blanquillos yet….

Kerry "the problem i've found with doing that there is that i've got a particularly wide stance."

Obama "fear not, you had me at hello"

1. Kerry: I just saved $150 on my car insurance.
Obama: FTW, dude!

2. Obama: You've already told me 40 times you were for it before you were against it. Give it a rest, already.

3. Kerry: go ahead and say something. Make the general think we're discussing what to ask him because seriously, I've got nothing.

Kerry: Yes, I'll loan you my medals.
But...whatever you do- don't throw them over the damned fence!

Obama: Can you ask Teresa about another case of Ketchup?

1) Kerry: "My 1st advice to you, never make fun of the troop's intelligence, and 2nd, don't go to NASA and get in a clean suit."

2) Kerry: ".. then I grabbed his money like this...."

3) The 2004 Democratic hopeful and the 2008 Democratic hopeless together, awww, how special.

4) Obama: "Can you talk to Terresa for me, about getting some 'executive experience' running something before the election?"
Kerry: "Why? You think I had some when I ran?"

Kerry(whispering): What is the signal again? Palm up or Palm down.......

A Mentos moment.

Senator Obama: "Will you please stop tapping your foot? I am not interested."

"You had me at 'hello'."

Senator Obama exclaimed, "Ohmigod, it's true! You do have "Born to lose" tattooed on your neck."

"No John, I will not get your car for you. But I will keep the $20 as a campaign contribution."

"Yes John, I do know who you are. Please stop asking me."

"Ginger or Mary Anne?"

Obama: "Anywhere you can quit I can quit better, I can quit anywhere better than you."
Kerry: "No, you can't."
Obama: "Yes, I can."
Kerry: "Quit Iraq?"
Obama: "Quit Iran!"
Kerry: "Isfahan?"
Obama: "But of course, Ramadan!"

"I appreciate and salute your service in Vietnam John, but 'going commando' doesn't mean what you think it means."

1. The way you're fading, Barack, be happy I'll take you as a token.

2. Don't know about the country, but my wife's a jealous bitch.

3. So all that stuff about sunlight is a load of hooey.

Obama - "Wow. When you move your lip that way, you really do resemble Herman Munster."

Kerry: ...so this black guy walks into a bar...er...never mind.

Kerry: I can't wait to get my Heinz on you.

Kerry: "A word of advise, steer clear of things like, say . . ., this microphone."

You're running for President? .. . . You. . ah. . .know that your black, right?

Kerry: Did you watch Britney's performance on TV?
Obama: Yes, she bombed.
Kerry: OJ's in the news again.
Obama: It seems the only news he gets now is bad news.
Kerry: Frankly, I'm still stunned about the Clark story.
Obama: Yippers, I'd give anything to get this sort of attention.