FDT: "Fine piece for a photo-op. Now, I think it gauche to do cherry rosewood laminate stock and bull barrel before 4 o'clock....but i'm really concerned as to why Doobie Brother Michael McDonald is standing to my left....."

"Heh, heh, heh, THIS is how we beat 'the bitch.' Oh - damn - is that mike on?!"

Fred Thompson shows off his vice-presidential qualifications.

"They can take my gun when they pry it out of my cold, dead . . .wait, strike that . . . "

"That's right, sir, this rifle comes with a guaranteed one-MOA grouping at 200 yards from prone or bench. Purely for recreational purposes, of course."

THIS THING MUST WEIGH AS MUCH AS ROSIE O'DONNELL.

"Well an elephant rifle is a bit much, Whaddya have in a donkey rifle?"

This oughta take her down quite nicely....

"Cheney can't have all the fun."

"Say ... why don't you chamber another round for me. I'm a bit fatigued from all this campaigning."

Thompson: "This is MY boomstick!"

Mine's bigger -- just ask Jeri.

Be vewwy, vewwy quiet... I'm hunting wiberals! HAHAHHAHAHAH!

... and it puts right spin on the bullets?

Debate, Schme-ate! Now THIS is a talking point.

When asked about gun rights, Thompson replied that he believes that the free market is the best way to ensure there are guns suitable to both right and left handed people.

Fred revealed his secret plan to come in first in Iowa.

Now the real fun begins.

"Yeah, we'll bring this over to Rudy's house and see if he can guess from which end the bullet comes out".

This is my rifle,
this is my gun.

One is for fighting,
the other is for fun.

1) That's not a rifle son, THIS is a Rifle.

2) So do you have anything in a semi-automatic? I need to start wheedling down the competition pretty quickly.

3) This is the ladies version right, it looks to only shoot a .50 caliber....

P.S. This isn't the best timing for this caption-contest considering what happened in Nebraska....

Well, normally I like to use a bazooka, but this might do for small game.

"...and they wouldn't let me in to Romney's Mormon speech for some reason."

"I don't need no stinkin' automatic, I don't nee no stinkin' semi-auto... one shot... good-bye."

"Let's go over to the Book Depository and scare the Hell out of Ted Kennedy!"

(1) He said I had a "trophy wife"? Let me load this and I'll show the sumbitch what a trophy really looks like!

(2) "Say hello to my leetle frien'"

"Son, whaddya mean you think this is the only way I'm gonna keep anyone from runnin' ahead of me in the primaries?"

In an effort to reach out to younger voters, Fred Thompson courts the AWP camper segment of Counterstrike gamers.

At each passing minute, Fred’s hands are getting colder and deader

"You say this here Barrett sniper rifle can hit a man at 2,000 yards? I can't even see a man at that distance, scope or no!"

That's a real pretty toy. Got anything with some kick?

Pull!

Okay fat guy, start running. I'll show you my Cheney impression.

And as your president I promise a liberal mounted on every wall

Can I get me a huntin license?

2:45 to Yuma.

Admiral Josh Painter: "This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."

"Wow, a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range."

Tackleberry finally gets his wish.

... and the pursuit of happiness is a warm gun.

"I'll show 'em what shoting from the hip really means..."

Let me tell you a story 'bout a man named Fred.
Ex-Senator, actor, runnin' to be prez.
Then one day he was shootin for some news,
All he got instead were some blabberin' fools.
CNN that is,
Wolf Blizter, Jonathan Klein.
Well the next thing you know ol' Fred's a candidate,
But the talking heads just wanna talk about his mate.
They say "Law and Order is the place you oughta be",
But he pays them no mind and he's moving steadily.
Up in the polls that is,
Iowa, Tennesee, ...

Definitely rabbit season.

"Something a little smaller would be better, I think, in case I might need to carry it into a shopping mall or school."

"I ain't compensating. It would have to much bigger to do that."

"This ought to be able to stop a RINO at 500 yards."

"Yeah, and I still got thirty minutes to catch that train to Yuma."

Apple hires Fred Thompson for the release of the iGun.

Vote for Fred, he'll never bring a knife to a gun fight.

Hey, that's not a Thompson gun, is it?