I got a kick from champagne.
But for mere alcohol, I'd not be here at all.
So tell me, why should it be true?
That I got six months, not dry school...

The powers that be,
That force us to live like we do.
Bring me to my knees,
When I see what they've done to you...
Now were back on the train,
Oh, back on the chain gang.

Mother, Father, I'm here in the zoo.
I can't come home cause I've grown up too soon.
I got my sentence, I got my command,
They said they'd make me Major if I met all their demands.
I could be a corporal into corporal punishment,
Or the genral manager of a large establishment.
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod,
But I never thought they'd put me in the Goon Squad.
They've come to look you over and they're giving you the eye,Goon Squad.
They want you to come out to play, you'd better say goodbye.
Some grow just like their dads,
And some grow up too tall.
Some go drinking with the lads,
And some don't grow up at all.
You must find the proper place for everything you see,
But you'll never get to make a lampshade out of me.
I could join a chain of males or be the missing link,
Looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink.
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod,
But I never thought theyd put me in the Goon Squad.
Mother, Father, I'm doing so well,
I'm making such progress now that you can hardly tell.
I fit in a little dedication with one eye on the clock,
They caught you under medication you could be in for a shock.
Thinking up the alibis that everyone's forgotten.
Just another mother's boy gone to rotten.
They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod,
But I never thought they'd put me in the Goon Squad.