TURN..dodge..perry...break a hip.

TOU.... AHH,TOU.... AH..... GOT YA!

Stardate 2034 .... Barack and Hillary relive their glory days on the campaign trail.

* The Black Knight, in retirement. (Monty Python nod)

*Hey, after this, what say we do a little knight clubbing?

* You should not have come, old man....

*Ginsu, my butt...

* "It's like he's Knight of the Living Dead."

* Fred was encouraged after this, to quit his knight job.

* Come on, you pansy! (OK, I know, more Python)

* *We are the knights who say "Oh, my hip!" (I know, even more Python)

* Looks like the battery on your light sabre quit.

*Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right thru his head! (Yeah, I know, sorry)

* Edith complicated matters by having a series of swordgasms.

* "I'm invincible! The Black Knight always triumphs!" (OK, that's it, I'm outta here)

Residents of the Melbourne Senior's Home, dream of the day when they too can afford a Wii console.

Howard Dean and the DNC figured out how to finally settle the looming superdelegate problem. A duel between Bill Clinton and Michelle Obama (I'm betting on Michelle).

D'Artagnan and the last of Cardinal Richelieu's guards cross swords yet again, even though neither can remember why.

Star Wars XI: Attack of the Ol' Bones, seemed to stall at the box office.

Now know we know how Obama got Edwards endorsement.

They had to take Viagra to keep the swords up.

I understand that there's jousting out on the shuffleboard court.

THIS. IS. SPARTA!

All we need now are wieners and a campfire.

Ha ha you leave yourself unguarded...i''ll shall now proceed to poke a hole in your colostomy bag.

The Clinton-Obama war was waged for years. Historians have argued that if things had unfolded differently in West Virginia or Pennsylvania a resolution could have been found much earlier.

John McCain defends his wife's honor.

Off our rockers, actin' crazy,
With the right medication we won't be lazy.
Doin' the old folks boogie down on the farm.
Wheelchairs, they are locked arm in arm.
Paired off pacemakers with matchin' alarms.
Gives us just one more chance to spin one more yarn.
And you know that you're over the hill,
When your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill.
Doin' the old folks boogie and boogie we will,
'Cause to us the thought's as good as the thrill!

(Sorry, that's Little Feat for the uninitiated.)

I find that Tybalt cancels out Capo Ferro! Don't you agree?

John McCain takes advantage of the continued Democratic in-fighting to get a little exercise.

Bithead and Anderson settle their differences offline.

Dude on the left: "this fencing crap is for the geezers. Let's break out the Rascal's and JOUST!!!"

http://www.rascalscooters.com/index.cfm/mobility/products.landing

"let's stop for a while...I've got to take EPEE!"

With nobody left to defend Zorro finally leaves Mexico!

I had a whole different image of the "border fencing"

As "boomers" age...nursing home space becomes harder to get!

The AARP Fencing Team has announced they will challenge the IOC's decision disallowing them from participating at the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing. The IOC said the walkers offer a defensive advantage other competitors can't utilize.

I think it's "Knit one, Purl two." Or maybe it's "En Garde, knit one..."

I'll fight the winner.

For the last time Fred, I apologize. You can have her if you want her. It's not like I was her first.

The national health plan is being financed by the revenue from the reality TV show with the winner of each bout getting the operation of their choice.

There seems to be a feedback loop between the fencing scoring system and the pacemakers.

The life and death struggle will continue for hours as each fighter stops and periodically has to ask again why they are fighting.

and finally, my attempt to break into the one category I have never been able to crack, the bottom of the barrel.

Who is going to win? Depends.

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

A touch, a touch, I do confess.

You'll always remember this as the day you almost captured Captain Jack Sparrow. Or maybe you won't.

I got this épée from Boris Onischenko. You're mine now!

Porthos and Aramis relive their glory days.

Debate & Duel - No more reporters baiting the candidates. Just let them go at it. Walkers provided by Slash and Dash McCain. Next week. Obama wants a luge race.

Hillary and Obama cross swords in a battle of wits. Both lost.

And the crowd chants: "Two men enter, one man leaves."

The Bethesda Senior Living production of Hamlet was a roaring success. Seen in this photo King Claudius (Mark Spencer) and Queen Gertrude (Jill Lefferts) watch as Osric (Michael Bindall) officiates the duel between Hamlet (Jerry Fournier) and Laertes (Steven Smith).

That's the last time you put Loctite on my wheels you son of a bitch.

On my signal, unleash heck.

Cyrano:
Prince, pray God that is lord of all, pardon you soul for your time has come. Beat, pass, I fling you aslant, asprawl. Then, as I end the refrain........
......

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Ave, Caesar, morituri te salutamus!"

90 is the new 70

In a daring departure from the normal State of the Union Address, President Obama instead staged a mini play titled: Take that Iran!

After IAEA reports said that radiation levels at the glass lake, formerly known as Israel. Should begin to taper off around 4085 AD.

Time out...ahhhhhhhhh...okay, I'll change the Depends later.

The democratic candidates announced today that this definitely will be the final debate.

Medicare cutbacks make transplant candidates much more competitive.

The last sally of the Senile swordsmen.

Senators Ted Kennedy and Barack Obama demonstrate the Democrat concept of "extreme force."

In a world now hep to his machinations, Barack vainly tries to outpoint Johnnie Mac.

Put a fork in her .... she's done.

Man In Middle - "Oh Hillary. Let's leave Obama's Mama out of this."

Your Never Too Old To Utter The Words "STICK IT!"

I'll turn you into a handheld bottle opener!

Oops, I crapped my pants!