Comments on: Caption Contest

By: Rodney Dill

Rodney Dill — Wed, 21 Sep 2005 09:49:59 +0000

Duna Tribe Bobsled Team

By: Maggie

Maggie — Tue, 20 Sep 2005 00:05:47 +0000

Candidates for "face transplants" have arrived in the US from the farthest corners of the African continent . . . demonstrating how complicated the actual procedure could be to complete successfully.

By: charles austin

charles austin — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 00:35:05 +0000

Rashad Akhtar: "That thing in his mouth looks like a crescent to me and as a Muslim I find it offensive."

By: Caliban Darklock

Caliban Darklock — Sun, 18 Sep 2005 01:21:39 +0000

Well, we were just optimising the new DSL config when Mdobo here has the bright idea to enable NAT on the wireless router as *well* as the ISA firewall, and of course that caused everything to go batshit crazy so Dbumba figured it HAD to be a virus and reinstalled the kernel - only he didn't have the hack Mdobo's brother Lkundu had to make yesterday for the multihomed system to get consecutive DHCP addresses, so now DNS isn't resolving properly, and... well, long story short, we can't get our email.

By: charles austin

charles austin — Sun, 18 Sep 2005 00:59:39 +0000

I definitely will not have what he's having.

By: Hodink

Hodink — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 15:18:40 +0000

"Eddie, darn it. I'm happy you're making your movie and I'll give you any props or make up you want. But my chastity belt. No! That is out of the question. Hand it over."

By: charles austin

charles austin — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 13:26:28 +0000

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

By: Adjustah

Adjustah — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 11:42:55 +0000

"Hi! Is your daughter home?"

By: DL

DL — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 11:19:10 +0000

FIAT demonstrates their latest cup holders to be standard equipment in their new line of Safari" SUVs.

By: Buckley F. Williams

Buckley F. Williams — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 11:05:11 +0000

Making an already tense situation even more contentious, Senate Democrats introduce the "Fight To The Death Against Cannibals" portion of John Robert's judicial nomination.

By: Buckley F. Williams

Buckley F. Williams — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 10:59:58 +0000

My grandfather visited the M'aa'lunga region of T'bkuur and all I got were these lousy pincers.

By: Russ

Russ — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 06:09:43 +0000

Darth Maul finally has some some competition.

By: Woody Haynes

Woody Haynes — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 05:16:20 +0000

Fans of the Predator movies can be found around the world ...

By: yetanotherjohn

yetanotherjohn — Sat, 17 Sep 2005 04:49:06 +0000

The CBS denied reports that they were stacking their panels with some of the most virulant cases of Bush Derangement Syndrome, saying "Look at them and tell me this is not the face of every day America".

By: charles austin

charles austin — Fri, 16 Sep 2005 18:49:41 +0000

Like Nietzsche says, "And if you gaze for long into an abcess, the abcess gazes also into you." Gabor, the village dentist, pulled out his Blackberry and called the Lexus dealer, informing him to go ahead and order the LX 2006 -- fully loaded. See, I told you GM corn was a bad idea. "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?" Emmel grew weary of hearing people say, "Ouch, that's going to leave a mark." "Poor ole Kawliga, he never got a kiss, Poor ole Kawliga, he don't know what he missed." And all the girlies day I'm pretty fly for a guy with lobster mandibles in the place where everyone else has teeth. A still inadvertently released from Oliver Stone's 9/11 movie which is still in pre-production. Even Oliver's friends concede they aren't sure where he's going with this one. Senator Schumer: "I have one final question for Judge Roberts, is this unconstitutional?" Senator Feinstein: "And how do you feel about this, in your heart? What kind of man are you?" The scavenger hunt was going swimingly. Amazingly, the red team had even found the lost tribe of the Amaquado Lobster people hidden in the Susskind's basement. And then they saw the next clue: "Find three reasonable Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee", and their hearts sunk. "I am not an animal! I am a man! Well, except for the mandibles, anyway." So I'm sitting in Goldstein's house watching the Bronco's get their asses handed to them by Miami when I reach under the cushion and find this red pill. What the heck, I took it. About five minutes later, this dolphin, which looks suspiciously like Phillip Fulmer, wearing a tuxedo and a a baseball cap with "Reuters/CAIR" emblazoned on it steps out of the television and tells me that I have to photoshop this picture to make the black people blacker as a visual cue to demonstrate just how much George Bush really hates them. And then I turn into an Alsatian with an unquenchable hunger for armadillos singing "Thank God It's Friday." Everything gets really fuzzy after that.