Being a firm believer in "walking in the shoes" of those appearing before the Supreme Court Judge Roberts prepares to hear yet another P2P case.

Arr Matey! With me peg leg and me hairy arms I will insult the repugnant Senators, ye land lubbers.

The skull and cross-bones, senator Kennedy is, in my opinion, covered by the first amendment -the sword, by the second, and the big white hankie flapping in my rear pocket is just an old French surrender flag from WWII. Chapaquiddick is due North by North East - why do you ask?

Senator Feinstein, the ONLY question you haven't asked me yet is "Why do they call you Long John?"

"New this fall: Pirate Eye for the Judge Guy!"

Or how about,

"Er, Senator Kennedy, this photograph is very interesting, but what I suggested was that the Democratic caucus hire a private eye to investigate Roberts."

"I refuse to discuss me next bit o' plunderin' because I don't have all the fact before me."

Arrr, Senator Kennedy, I may hoist the jolly rodger, but I've never made a woman ride the bridge.

Evidence that Kelo is just the newest form of piracy.

"Sir, will you be reviewing Ahab vs. Moby Dick?"

Well, you see, the U.S. Constitution is more a set of guidelines than an actual code.

Are you ready kids? Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh,
Whose family is lovely and just a bit twee
Justice Roberts
In front of the Senate all google-eyed is he
Justice Roberts
If judicial restraint be something you wish
Justice Roberts
Then Bush has scored a nothing-but-net swish
Justice Roberts
Justice Roberts
Justice Roberts
Justice Roberts

What shall we do with a drunken Teddy?
What shall we do with a drunken Teddy?
What shall we do with a drunken Teddy?
Early in the mornin'.

Ah, the winning entry in the Robert Shaw/Captain Quint lookalike contest.

It's fun to charter a chief justice,
And sail the seas of legalese.
To find, explore the torts offshore,
And skirt the shoals of perjury.
We will apply stare decisis,
Unless we don't to watch the Lefties screech.
There is no court above us,
The red staters will love us.
We're sailing in the seas of legalese.

Starrgghhhe decisis, you say?

Chief Justice Blutarsky.

The Flying Hoosierman.

And all you can say is "Arrrrghhhh"?
Right then, you're the man for the job.

Chief Justice nominee John Roberts guest stars as The Pirate on The Wiggles in an attempt to communicate to Senate democrats on a level they can understand.

As you wish.

Arrgh, I would rather Roe than Wade, har har har.

How do I interpret the Pirates Code, Mr Kennedy? Well I'd say Chappaquiddick is a clear case of "Those who fall behind get left behind."

President Bush made history today when he nominated the first Pirate-American for the Supreme Court. Roberts told reporters, "aaaarrrrrrrrrgh."

Not only is Judge Robeerts ready to be on the Supreme Court, he has his costume ready for the Supreme Court Halloween party.

"Arrrr, Senator, I left me parrot at home 'cause I heard there'd be a gracious plenty of 'em here."

"Arrgh, it's the landlubbers' life fer me now, mateys. But I'll be thinkin' on yer scurvy lot every time me dons this splendid new Chief Justice robe. God bless ye, lads, a mighty fine present she is."

Roberts: It's me, Flash! Flash by name, Flash by nature. Hurrah!
All: Hurrah!
Senator Specter: Where have you been?
Roberts: Where haven't I been! ...Waugh!... But I'm here now. Who is that?
Senator Leahy: I don't know, but he is in your place.
Roberts: Not for long. Hold that.
[Hands his brief to Senator Feinstein, then throws Senator Biden through the door]
Roberts: Thanks Senator, like the beard. Gives me something to hang on to.

Senator Schumer, I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Me mates and I are looking for treasure all right! Me treasure map shows a wealth of rare scotch compounded up in Hyannis land!

(Judge Roberts singing) 'Yoo Hoo Hoo and a bottle of rum for me...', Damn, Teddy that was your line sorry.

Judge Roberts to G.W. Bush on O'Conner's replacemnt. "I see squalls ahead matey."

"Arrgh, Rodney Dill needs to walk the gangplank for this lousy bit of Photoshopping my face on this body. Next CAIR will be putting Burkas on women! Arrgh!"

We wus sailing up the mouth of the Mississippi jus fine until me hull got stuck on those yellow busses down there!

"... and really bad eggs."

Land ho, I spy high ground ahead. Shumer, Leahy,
ye be sinking fast with all ye blarney...I'll quarter no mutiny.....off with ye both....to the brig it is !

I took the initiave in inventing Internet piracy

If there's one thing I know well mate, It's the law of the sea.

The first law is stay away from those blue states -they're the real pirates! Why , they'll steal your used pantaloons to use for tax write-offs!

The more booty you've got the harder they fight to take it away.

The first thing they do with their vessels is to teach the young mates to cover all the canons with a rubber sleeve!

You think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the head while I'm wearing these bad boys?

What's on the docket next session? Rum, sodomy, and the lash.

The other justices grew weary of the chief calling them his pieces of eight.

Justice Ginsberg: Before Medea sailed away on the Helios she killed king Creon and the princess, with what? A: A rock. B: Spear-gun or C: a bit of Poison.
Chief Justice Roberts: P-oison...

Judge Roberts was rather chagrined that the local "Pirate Outfitters" store was sold-out out of eye patches and parrots and vowed to "teach those scurvy bilge-rats how to implement better supply-chain management."

As a judge in the mode of Solomon I would take me blade and cut your pennumbras right in half Senators!

"I think we're gonna need a bigger penumbra."

"Thar she emanates!"

To the tune of "A Pirate's Life," from Disney's "Peter Pan."

Oh, a judge's life is a wonderful life,
for rolling over the law!
Give me a career
as a legaleer,
A justice's the life for me!
Oh, a justice's the life for me!

"Arrgh, it shivers me timbers when privateers brand me for bestowing Rehnquist the black spot."

"Aye matey. Fer lunch? Some Condi Rice, Rodney Dill Pickles, Kofi and Brazile Nuts for dessert."

This listing to port nonsense on the good ship Jurisprudence is over.

The dread Pirate Roberts?

He looked taller, the last time.
And a bit warmer, too, come to think of it.

To the tune of ‘bottle of rum’

I put my hand on upon the book Yo-ho Yo-ho.
And swore to hold-up judicial oaths Yo-ho Yo ho

I spoke with might, I spoke with right; they said it simply wasn’t enough!
Vote me up, vote me down, quit fucking around, Yo-ho Yo-ho Yo-ho.

They trained their aim from portside LEFT Yo-ho Yo-ho
And fired a salvo with ill effect Yo-ho Yo-ho

When in response I argued my case, they libel me as out of touch!
Vote me up, vote me down, quit fucking around, Yo-ho Yo-ho Yo-ho

Now they cry that the game was rigged Yo-ho Yo-ho
And blame their loss on shady tricks Yo-ho Yo-ho

All along the partisan rule; flew the flag of partisan mules!
Vote me up, vote me down, quit fucking around, Yo-ho Yo-ho Yo-ho

BREAKING NEWS (AP) - Cutting room floor footage from the Village People's old "In the Navy" music video unexpectedly sinks John Roberts nomination as Chief Justice.

You're mis-stating my position again Senator Kennedy. I distinctly said, "Aaaaarrrrggh!" Not, "Oh God!"