Totally disingenuous handshake in 3 - 2 - 1...

McCain "Whoop...haven't even started and his beak is growing"

McCain "Ya know they have wireless ear pieces these days"

McCain "..my friend, my VP is totally hotter than yours"

McCain thought bubble "man rule #32...dude has a nasal flapper during an important occasion...IT'S HIS PROBLEM"

"Do you mind if I call you 'that One'tonight?"

McCain thinks: "Is that even Obama? They all look alike to me."

McCain thought bubble......now how did Cheney put it........

McCain thinks: "Now, uh, paper covers rock? Or scissors cover paper? How does this damn game work?"

Senator John McCain and That One shake hands.

"Senator Obama...would you mind showing me how you do that fist bump thing you do?"

Perfect application of the handshake!
[originally introduced by enemy knights to expose a weaponless right hand.]
Unfortunately it's Obama's LEFT that offers the greatest threat!

"Are those conquistadors?"
"They run tight."

McCain: Barack! I hope you're not pissed. That crazy bitch Sarah Palin got ahold of some bad moose venison and Whew! There was no controlling her!

McCain: Uh-oh. I know that look. It's the look my first wife gave me when I told her I was leaving her for Cindy! I think I just crapped my pants!

McCain: As the young folks say, "Don't tase me Bro!"

* Hello, Darkness my old freind... I've come to talk with you again

* The very first deployment of the Nuclear joy buzzer

* Resistance is futile.

* You killed my father. Prepare to die.

* Boy, they're making these robot thingies better all the time, huh?

"Here I am, being beaten and interrogated under bright lights. It's Vietnam all over again, man."

Thank you for not making me do a high five.

"Did you wash your hands?"

McCain: Don't go there.

McCain's Inner Voice: "Don't look at his blue lips, don't look at his blue lips . . ."

Both had paper again in the Roshambo Championship Tiebreaker.

When McCain tried to share bowling tips, Obama displayed his basketball defense.

Two men enter, one man leaves.

McCain to Obama: "Eaaasy there Messiah, that's my dominant e-mail typing hand".

"Caution! Mimes at work!"

Two Men's Wearhouse mannequins display suits on sale- "I guarantee it!"

Geez, John, Sarahcuda makes Michelle look like Snow White.

Great Lost Moments in History, #73:

Johnnie Mac's decision Not to employ a joy buzzer (at the start of the second 2008, Presidential debate).

"Down low, too slow"

Why I'll flip you like a cheese omelet ....