"But don't make fun of the hair ..."

Blags: "wild accusations in the media, talk of my personal life and even my nude painting are fair game....but DO NOT hate on my FU*(ING HAIR!"

"... THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND three hundred thousand dollars, ladies and gentlemen, do I hear THREE HUNDRED FIFY ...."

The Blag: "Hell yes Rahm is a tigha$$...it's a f*cking senate seat for sh*ts sake. What, does he think I look like a used car salesman???. F*CK HIM!"

Blagerino: "HEY...camera guy...TELL ME where you get your F*CKING hair care products...NOW!!!"

Blaginator: "Pull my finger...for 5 large"

"You noticed,huh? Saw my pants? Didn't your nose grow in the old days?"

"Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill ya."

"I am not William Devane, so stop calling me that."

* Ok, what am I bid for one interview? Let's start at $250. Do I hear 260? There, $260. Do I hear $270?

Blago: "ExcUUUUUUSE ME?...you think I look like a Cabbage Patch Doll??????. F^#K YOU!"

"...and if Caroline Kennedy had listened to me, she'd have a f**king Senate seat by now!"

"I like this, one dog goes one way and the other dog goes the other way and this guy says 'whadda want from me'"

Michael Blago: "My father's no different than any other powerful man. Any man who's responsible for other people, like a Senator, or a President."
Kay Reporter: "Do you know how naive you sound?"
Michael Blago: "Why?"
Kay Reporter: "Senators and Presidents don't have men killed."
Michael Blago: "Oh. Who's being naive, Kay?"

Hey you! Do you want to buy my parking spot?

"I neva fscked anybody over in my life, who didn't have it comin' to 'im, you got that? All I have in this world is my balls, and my word, and I don't break 'em for no one, jou understand?"

"Hey.... Double or nuttin' for Sec of State..."

You wanna F*ck'n Senator... fine, I'm namin' Elwood Blues....

Pull my finger and I'll "explain" some more!

Sixth finger, sixth finger, man alive!
How did I EVER get along with five!

I'm practicing to go bird hunting with Cheney!

And THAT'S how we shoot rubber bands back at the office!

You've certainly got a point there, Mr.Blagojevich!

Hey, there is another crooked liberal, Obama. Why don't you fellows go chase after him. He actually has power.

I've done nothing wrong! If NIKE can pay me to wear this jacket... Why can't I sell a Senate seat?

Blago: So I asked them, "Deal or No Deal?"

The crook (of the elbow).

Eenie meenie minie mo, pick a Senator for the dough...

"Mess with me, wiseass, and I'll make YOU a senator. Huh? How's that sound, punk?"

Okay, how about the Senate seat for your fancy camera?

You can't handle the truth!

Blago: YOU know me?
Reporter: Yes.
Blago: No, YOU don't.
Reporter: Okay.
Blago: YOU see my picture in the paper?
Reporter: Yes.
Blago: No, YOU didn't.
Reporter: I don't even get the paper.

(Apologies to Analyze This)

You take the high road, and I'll take the low road, and I'll be in gravy before you.

" .... And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion."

{O-Ren Ishii, Kill Bill}

"Bang! Bang! You're dead."

I'm not going to do what my accusers and political enemies have been doing, and that is talk about this case in 30-second sound bites on 'Meet the Press' or on the TV news. Instead, I'm holding out for highest bidder on an exclusive interview. I've got this thing and it's [bleep] golden. Ain't nothing but sunshine on me right now. Hey, is that Donahue?!

... call my hair the "Blagosphere", again.

I f**kin' dare ya.

Blago calls it: "Stee-rike Three! I'm out!"

"But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
For it's Blago this, an' Blago that, an' 'Blago, wait outside';
But it's 'Fitzmas time for Blago' when Emanuel's on the line,
Emanuel's on the line, my boys, Emanuel's on the line,
O it's 'Fitzmas time for Blago' when Emanuel's on the line."

"Yeah? You ever had your ass kicked by a guy without thumbs?"

The Day the Earth Stood Ill

"Merry Christmas, huh? You want a Merry Christmas? I'll show you a Merry Christmas. Ah, cameras. And for the rest of you, everybody in Illinois, everybody in America, everybody in jail in America, Merry Christmas to one and all."

Look, nobody gets a lock of this hair for one penny less than $500,000!

And another thing ....

Stand back, it's loaded.

I did not have commerce with that woman!

Yeah you there Rod, Merry Christmas!

You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?