Hey, let's make a "stupid" sandwich.

The new Three Stooges: Al G., Pluggy, and O.

Obama: "Okay gang, here's the play. Al, you take $125 billion of the TARP to ward off all this warm weather we've been having. I'll take $100 billion of the TARP to prop up foreclosed homes that shouldn't have got a mortgage to start with...and Joe....you...you take what's left, give some to your family and just try not to speak in public. Remember, we've all got to have skin in the game. Rrreadyyyy BREAK!"

A sneak preview of the cast of the '09 season of 'The Office'.

Obama: OK.... Who let Al in?

"Joe, please tell Al it's a nice offer but I don't want to trade the Presidency for his Nobel Peace Prize, his Inconvenient Truth Oscar, the right to say I invented the Internet and his left over hanging chads."

So Joe, tommorrow, it's Al's turn get to be photographed with a flag behind him.

So Joe, Al insists his empty glass is proof of global warming.

I don't know how to tell you this even before the inauguration Joe, but Al's my new VP.

Joe, would you tell this idiot that my $10 million dollar inauguration parade won't cause enough CO2 to finish off the planet!

Gee, I didn't realize Al liked gin that much.

None of the three wise men noticed the 57 stars on the flags.

Al here thinks I should get a mongrel Joe, what's your opinion?

"I'm thinking that while Oprah's upset about being fat again, we could convince her to give me O and call it O, The Obama Magazine now."

Joe, shut up, when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

alt:

Joe, shut up, you're not Dick Cheney, I know Dick Cheney, and you're not him.

"We're really f&cked, aren't we. I mean, I haven't even taken the oath, and we're really f&cked."

What do you call an oreo that's white on the outside?

A few of the original "Little Rascals" consider a reunion movie.

Joe, Al here is right...your going to have to shut-up or buy carbon credits!

bore, bored, and board

OK,OK... let me see... Here is the church, but WHERE is the D$#@ed steeple!

You said it was good to be clean. So why not look at clean coal?

Rodney, you might want to check to see who won ours last weekend.

Obama: "OK guys- we got in! No more of the stupid stuff, agreed?"

Obama: "OK Joe- let me go over it one more time...WHO is on first, WHAT is on second..."

Obama: Al is our "Green" guy, Joe. No, that does not include green eggs and ham, for chrissakes!

So, you want a piece of me! I refuse to fold my hands.

Al, you lead the prayer to Mother Gaia. Joe, after you've been VP for 4 years, you can take the next one.

Obama drama ding-dongs

"Yes. I know that I banned inaugural contributions from corporations and lobbyists, but these are just American citizens doing their part."

http://ewebsmith.com/gov/inauguration.html

Monica Lewinsky disappears under table during interview for new White House position.

"Joe, I suspect you are wondering why I invited Al today. Al, perhaps you could share the priceless and timeless wisdom Bill shared with you...you know, silence, invisibility and unquestioned loyalty?"

OK, I had to denounce Ayers, Wright, and Rezco. Things aren't looking too good for Blago or Emanuel. Richardson had to go and they're starting to question Gaithner. You two pathetic guys are all I have left.

Barack - Joe, did you hear something?
Al - I said I'd like to talk about my global warming plan!
Barack - There it is again...

First Barack met with all the Presidents; now he's getting advice from the second stringers.

Look, Joe, I'm sorry, OK? But Al got here first, so he got the seat with the flag behind it.

I just want to make sure we're all on the same page .... like on global warming, does it suck or does it blow? It's very important Gentlemen, that we present a uniform discourse, when we're out bloviating (off gassing). Now on Hamas .... I'm not sure yet, but I'm thinking either my Homies in Gaza, or ....

I didn't bring the Yo Yo's ..... I thought you were going to bring the Yo Yo's.

Man, an arugula/feta/balsamic salad sounds really good right now.

Al is strongly leaning towards Caroline Kennedy, and I still favor Marion Barry ... but what about you Joe?

Barack: So, you you know how that whole global warming thing is complete rubbish? Well, "Crazy Al" keeps calling me about a position in the administration, and..."

Joe: Uh...Barack...icksnay on the globalay.

Barack: Crap. He's behind me isn't he?

Well Malia and Sasha are pretty set on a Labradoodle, I'm in favor of a mutt. What do you think Joe?

Gentlemen, I've asked you here today because we must find a way to kill Superman.

Obama: "This is called "Cat's Cradle" but first you have to imagine the string running through my fingers".

It was then that Obama realized he was the whitest man in the room.

And I want those contributions in packs of unmarked small bills......

Lemme get this straight. If Al's B.S. isn't B.S, then my Hawaii will go bye byeii?

For the Inauguration half time show, I've lined up the Pussycat Dolls. And Al here got a confirmation from the Prius Precision Rodeo and Drill Team. So Joe, while I do appreciate your offer to twirl a Hula Hoop and play the kazoo ...

Obama - "This time slightly more animated, please. Cmon. This is for Sesame Street. Ready. Set. Go.
The itsy-bitsy spider
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain ..."

Come on Joe ... sing it with me, sing it now: I've got the whole world in my hands ....

Are you talkin to me?

If I get my hands on the neck of one of them neocon bloggers?

"Here we are. This is Hip Hop 101. We will learn the four elements of hip hop: graffiti art, DJing, MCing, and breakdancing. Before we start, I'd just like to know if you feel you are down with hip hop?"

No Joe ... when I said Eminem was a rapper, I wasn't talking about candy or its packaging. Oh never mind ...