Azberzabinhad: "Ok gang, this time, when we photoshop the launch...I would like it to appear that the "missles" are heading off this way"

Random hot Physicist chick in the gallery: "WE LOVE YOUR NOSE AND TALL STATURE NAMOOD...you ROCK!!"

Well, if you must...third door on right...I told you to go before we left, didn't I?

Stupid question!!! WHACK.

"The Wonkivator goes in all directions once we have it repaired."

You need tighter security. You see that dragonfly up there? If it can get in, so could one of those miniature, flying spy-cameras.

Ah-h-h-h. Our friends from IAEA. Welcome ... we just preparing your lunch before inspection. We hope you like bologna sandwich.

Against all advice, Iran still desperately searches for a radioactive spider to bite them

High five my Muslim brother...OH Ala bend me over and subjugate me, I forgot I chopped your hand last year ...

Decades later, Iranians would speak in hushed tones about the time Ahmadinejad pointed toward Israel and called his next shot.

Azmerdinerjad: "So I was globe trotting, giving speeches on human rights/anti-racism/pro-Jew/Holocaust remembrances..you know, the usual. Anyhow, somebody along the way slipped me a little blue pill. Like they say...SCHWIIIIING!!"

Don't worry! As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely eighty-eight miles per hour the instant the lightning strikes the tower ... everything will be fine!

New Yorker Review - The 2009 remake of the 1964 film, Dr. Strangelove, seems more authentic this time around.

Look, I'm telling you, the wind is from the left. Take the six iron and draw it in......

Ahmadinejihad: "No, you idiot! Israel is that way. You are aiming missile at Mecca!"

Ahmadinejihad: "You are developing synthetic pork? I smack your face!"

Very good work on nuclear weapon civilian power. Let us wave bye-bye to Israel.

Heil...myself.

Respondents to the sperm casting call for Woody Allen's "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex - 2."

chsw

"The 18th at Pebble Beach has this 400,000-pound cypress tree transplanted in 2002 making your second shot have to flirt with the ocean."

"You realize our letters are different and so when we do Y M C A, it goes like this."

Do you know me?

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
I've lived a life that's fullovit
Traveled each and every bloody Islamist highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I planned each nuke attack, each careful step along the apocalypse
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more camel than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and didn't spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
And now, as Israel's outgoing flies, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

Hey Obie .... hi! How ya doin? (kees my leel Persian persimmons).

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