Git outta of my way, I'm first in line! (Tuesday morning, November 6, 2012).

Hurry kids .... run! The Obamessiah's giving away BluRay players, giant flat panel TV's, and Prius'.

#13 runs for his life, after the others found out he's the one who put itching powder in all their costumes.

Obama's "team of rivals" arrives for a White House cabinet meeting.

The Democrats, now with control both houses of Congress and the White House, take a victory lap.

During a December interview, Obama told Tom Brokaw: "Part of what we want to do is to open up the White House and remind people this is the people's house." Little did we know at the time he would be opening it up to their pets, too.

The Obama Administration has a very relaxed dress code for White House staff members.

The Obama Administration is proving to be the most diversified up to now .... and probably for centuries to come.

Demanding inclusivity, Michele Obama stated that she "couldn't be proud of her country if only that 'bunny' was invited to the Spring Holiday Egg Roll" on the White House lawn.

With so many qualified Supreme Court candidates available, Obama decided to narrow the field with a more objective format.

Exercise guru Richard Simmons makes Swine Flu avoidance fun with his new line of full-body-protection activity wear.

The Obama Administration sicks the White House press core on hedge fund investment firms that won't fall in line.

Unemployed caption contest extras stampede upon hearing that OTB is to receive some Obama Administration stimulus funding.

The first ever Vice Presidential "run away from confined spaces" run went exceptionally well until some Jackass tripped up Sparty causing his head to fall off.

Democrats hold "Annual Race of The Lobbyists"

Anyone who thinks that the Obama White House is not thoroughly grounded in reality should just look at the team he has assembled as they come into work.

In a counter point to the tea party movement, people who still believe that President Obama is the same man as candidate Obama held a rally yesterday.

Remember, Its all for the little people.

The race to fill Souter's supreme court seat is on.

The work of the stimulus package picks up steam as circus performers are hired in record numbers. The next hottest job... bakers.

Congress in recess?

Third party options sound better in theory to conservatives; the reality looks a little bit different.

"Sooo-eeee, feedin' time at the Stimulus trough" reverberates across the White House lawn.

I blame Bush.

A quick glance at the 111th Congress could be discouraging, but a closer look reveals that some red state elected "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" to bring Hope and Change, one representative at a time!

Panicked Americans misinterpret warnings to wear masks to protect themselves from Swine Flu.

Obama Derangement Syndrome (ODS), first manifesting itself as a tingle down one's leg, is followed by ....

P.E.T.M. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Mascots) ... decried Lake Louise's Easter egg hunt, as a forced death march.

With passage of the Sentient Being Voter's Act, Obama's reelection campaign, was off to a running start.

Though many on the left were saddened by the news that Keith Olberman had been struck by a bus. Some on the right ....

Fortunately no one was injured in the resultant stampede, when rumours began circulating that Kirstie Alley was nearby, and had not yet eaten lunch.

Obama had gone on a solo fishing expedition in his home state of Illinois, when the rabbit approached his boat, "hissing menacingly, its teeth flashing and nostrils flared and making straight for the president". Trying desperately to enter the boat, causing Obama to flail at the swimming creature with the oars from his boat.

* The High school re-enactment of the Visigoths invasion of Rome.

President Obama decides that Chrysler's creditors will subordinate debt the old fashioned way, by racing with dwarves.

ACORN has the most entertaining voter registration drives.

When asked why the federal government mandated mascot-dwarf races to decide every Republican primary, Rahm Emanuel replied, "We won."

I'm tellin' ya, you better let the donkey win.

This! Is! Sparta! Not!

Obama's fault!

Unable to attend Moscow's annual May Day parade, President Obama sent his condolences. Though event organizers said that he was there in spirit.

Obama's menstrualmilitia .... on the (ragged) warpath. Again.

100 days? Ah ... you ain't seen noothing yet.

When shown this picture of key Pakistani Nuclear Guards fleeing their posts, US Military leaders re-re-switched their prognosis from "fairly confident Pakistani nuclear arms will remain safe should the country collapse" to "AWE DANG".

I told you Rodney was a race-ist.

I'd like to thank Rodney and OTB for sponsoring this great national conversation on race.

Stay away from the brown acid.

I said I needed a photo to depict "Manny Ramirez is out 50 games for doping." not "Manny Ramiriz has 50 way out friends who are dopes."

Run! The Arkansas mascot has the sniffles!