George Lucas’ annoying obsession with adding new digital effects to his early Star Wars movies finally reaches the absurd.

While the Wookies were rightly feared across the universe, it was their close cousins that were the true masters of the force.

And Dill thought YODA was short.

In the long run, even Darth Skippy, Darth Fuzzy, and Darth Fluffy were more popular than Jar-Jar Binks.

It's also dangerous to underestimate the Weird Side of The Force.

"All I'm saying is that my dog finally quit chasing squirrels."

“All I’m saying is that my dog finally quit chasing squirrels.”

Of course, given most dogs' intelligence, it was well after he earned the new name 'Noseless'.

My caption would be: "After seeing these clips from the upcoming Episode VII, medical experts confirmed that Lucas was indeed suffering from JarJaritis, with YodaPuppetdosis".

"Rocky-Wan has taught you well, young Nutchomper."

Chip and Dale unleash the force on Rocky after he informed them: “These are not the nuts you’re looking for”.

1)Use the nuts luke!

2)When Squirrel Nut Zippers go bad

3)The true story behid the FARK squirrel

Squirrels Gone Wild

Hey, dummy, next time put the pinata full of nuts closer to the ground!

Bushy-tailed though they were, the two padawans were no match for the Dark Squirrel of the Sith.

By the third day of christmas the carolers knew they were in trouble with the new version of this holiday classic.

A chipmunk with a laser blaster would bring this party to an end.

1) Rabid Monkey Squirrel Team Hyperforce Go!

2) Who let the squirrels out! Who? Who?

3) Pedestrians stayed out of the dog park when Skippy, Trix, and Thumper showed up with their "toys".

(Dude) "Nutcrackers- Sweeet!"

A squirrel's natural territorialism, together with a disastrous mast crop, led to the inevitable escalation of violence during the annual fall turf wars.

"I'm NUTS over you, baby!"

Using a lethal combination of swordplay and Kung-Fu, Rocky the Rodent vanquishes his enemies in short order.

"Quit your cryin', Pussy Boy, we drew straws and you got the pink sword!"

Preferring an honorable death over the shame of the skillet, three modern-day gladiators fight to the bitter end.

"Bonzai, motherfucker!"

His friends the squirrels did their best to entertain Jonathan, but their playful antics were no match for his depression over losing Suzie. He glanced over at a women in a blue track suit walking past, absentmindedly reaching down to scratch his ...

You did say we were supposed to use Nuts gratuitously, right?

Ha,

I will defeat you and leave you with the mark of Squorro!!

The Three Squirrel-keteers
All for Nuts, and Nuts for All

Orders 1 through 65 were less successful in testing...

Squirrel #1: The stakes are high in this duel!

Squirrel #2. I understand. Loser spends the night inside Richard Gere.

Beatrix Potter and Lucasfilm joint announcement expected today...

OH MY GOD -- some squirrels are practicing to defend the oracle-bead chronicle!

“All I’m saying is that my dog, formerly known as Numbnuts, finally quit chasing squirrels. He changed his name to Nutcracker but his friends all call him Noseless.”

"Call me a nutcase but all I’m saying is that my nutty dog, formerly known as Numbnuts, finally quit chasing those movie-nut squirrels. He changed his name to Nutcracker but his close friends call him Nuthouse Noseless."

Spielberg takes Lucas up on his bet that he could film three squirels with some chessey special effects, call it Star Wars VII and it would gross $100 million the first week.

The story behind the story... slightly corrupted by the media, of course:

Russian squirrel pack 'kills dog'

Local people suggest hunger is driving squirrels to extremes
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

The three young padawans practiced day and night for their most nerve-wracking test yet - shaving each others nuts with a lightsaber!

ORA

"I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know."

Onlookers hadn't seen that much squirrel fighting since the last meeting of the National Organization for Women.

"Ooooh! Nice move, Aunt Slappy! Without his nuts, he's just another 6-inch high eunich with a bushy tail and a laser sword!"

Fans lined up outside the tree hoping the get the first tickets to Squirrel Wars.

Though less celebrated than those furry sissies, the Ewoks, the Squuchuubs knew the ways of the Force and were easily the toughest little bad asses on all of Endor!

* Squirrels, the 'other' white meat.

* Ah. This explains what happened to Boris & Natasha.

* PETA's new secret weapons

* Nutcracker Suite done by the Jedi Squirrels

* Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force... along with a certain nutty aire.

* The weapons and the fighting were OK with Sammy... but the fleas were murder.

* "Adventure. Excitement. Nuts. A Jedi craves not these things."(Yoda)

* These light Sabres would last a lot longer if we didn't have to use such dinky little batteries....

...And suffering leads to KUNG FU NINJA SQUIRELLS!!!

Documentary evidence finally shows why, before Sidious, the Sith never revealed themselves to the Jedi...

They were far too embarrassed.

Actually Jar-Jar, THIS is Nutzen...

The Emporer was concerned until Lord Vader pointed out that the Ewoks were not the only small, furry inhabitants of Endor.

Russian authorities now believe the dog-killing squirrels may be more organized than first suspected.

"When we get through with Dill, he'll be more Gherkin, bwahahahaha."

Hah! We know you have been working with the dogs!!!

Because of the backlash by fans to the Ewoks in Episode Six, George Lucas introduced the Rodentia Jedi and their arch-nemesis, Sith Sciuridae.

The force of Junior's tennis shoe would soon be with them.

Mad Cow gene mutates into Really Pissed Squirrel gene.

The Three R's ... Rove, Rice and Rumsfeld ... fight over who will get the worst press this week.

Rare footage of the French army in mortal combat.

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting
Those squirrels were fast as lightning
It was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing

You've heard of "Hampsterdance." Now it's time for "Squirrel Fu."

Use the nuts, Luke.

The castng call for "Spaceballs II :Star Nuts" causes some confusion.

"I don't know why we have to go through all this. McCain, you just be the standard bearer so we can keep the White House."

Ronin Ninja Squirrels work on their moves.

Padawan Learners and Jedi Master warn all humans:
We can now harvest when we run up your pant leg.

The Chronicles of Nutnia

The makers of Neuticles for dogs, now offer Nuticles for Squirrels.