As was usual in the north pole Jr High School annual dance, all the boys were lined up against the wall, nervous and drooling not wanting to be the first to dance, while the girls ended up dancing with themselves.

Highlights from the Construction Santas Local 400 Christmas party

Stupid elves! I said "go out and hose down the deer."

(Not go out for hoes and beer!)

Ho, ho, ho, ho.

Ho! Yo!

Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho' down.

Yeah boys, that pretty much describes the dream I had last night, and then I woke up and saw the REAL Mrs. Claus and realized it was just that - a dream.

"ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BLUE BALLS!!!!"

11 out of 12 Santas agree, Santa's elves weren't as sexy when they were a little boy. And I think the twelth Santa is a little light in the chimmney if you know what I mean.

Santa is going to be a little late tonight.

or

I hope Mrs. Claus isn't watching.

Cries of "hey baby, come sit on Santa's face and tell him what you want!" led to an FCC penalty dwarfing that for Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction," as well as destroying an entire generation's belief in Santa.

1) These were the incriminating pictures which resulted in the Pats-Jets banning alcohol from their game. Last year apparently the Santas got hit by the "Drunk Stick", and the Cheerleaders got his with the "Ugly Stick" when beers were served at the game.

2) It's is very apparent, only one Santa came prepared with the right equipment (and the guy below them too), looking for a wardrobe malfunction at this year's Christmas's Football game.

3) Thinks that make you go, Hmmm. Just why are the Santa's shading their eyes? Hmm. (Cartman voice) GAY!!

Raiders' fans in the Red Hole admire the Red Ho's.

The study proved the hypothesis that Santa suits are indeed an aphrodisiac.

'Who let the dogs out?'

Experts now agree that cookies and milk are gateway drugs.

Because he sees you when you're sleeping, the drunken Santas chant for the Santa-ettes to have hot lesbo cheerleader sex in a bathroom stall of a local dive bar after the game.

The ADL Quickly demanded the NFL create the Hanukah Honeys and the Kwanza Kittens.

With all the calls of
OH! OH! OH!
the rest of the spectators new that the Dyslexic Santas Organization were having their yearly field trip.

I'm dreaming of a white and red Christmas.

Pic 2

"The Christmas cheer had authenticity in the ho department."

Singing .....
heidi, heidi, heidi hey!
heidi, heidi, heidi ho!

Naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty, naughty. Nice.

Michael Irvin:
Fat guys love Christmas it gives them a chance to use their Santa pick up ploy...

Terry:
yea Michael, by the way do you know any of those "self employed models" that are "cheering" on the field...

Michael :
Of course Terry they all work at the Kitty Kat... um um um homeless shelter, yea the Kitty Kat homeless shelter...

Santa's:
on Destiny, on Brandy, on Jasmine, on Bambi, on Sierra...

Now THEY can fill stockings!

These were the incriminating photos that cinched Mrs. Claus getting the North Pole estate and custody of the elves.

Even with the clever seasonal disguise and multiple body doubles, former President Clinton's Secret Service detail knew the Senator was going to blame them for what was about to occur next.

Pictures from this year's North Pole Bowl confirm that cloning has practical application with Saints and that it is indeed plausible that Santa can cover the entire world in one night. We also see that elves are much larger and much better looking and saucy than previously assumed.

Pic 1
The Supreme Court showed up in disguise to Heidy Ho at the game. Nominee Alito sat next to retiring Associate Justice O'Connor while trying to learn the Secret Supremes Cheer.

ho, HO, HOLY SH#@!

Jerry, Nicky, Vinny, and Tony were all rejected at Santa School fo rbeing too skinny. So they found new jobs...

Scenes from the sequel to the hit movie "Transamerica" called "Transamerica II: Santa Has A Wish Too".

What's in YOUR wallet?

Oh, that's not your wallet. Sorry.

"We're making a list, checking it twice, we're looking for some girls who are naughty and nice..."

MC Santa and his crew say, "All the ladies in the house say, 'ho'..."

* by Canadian law 63% of the Santas had to be of Canadian origin.

* There weren't many who knew that Santa's brothers had gotten togther to run a highly profitable escort service in South Florida.

* The Mistletoe got serious use about an hour later.

* Ya never know WHO will show up at "Burning Man"

* Yes, Dear Freinds, there were plenty of Yule Logs to throw on the fire THAT night, I can tell you...

* It turns out Santa's entire family carried the 'naughty' gene.

* The Santas were all standing on account of their having ripped up their asses, riding that electric shaver thingie.