The new machine measures the Teflon Component, a high one, say 9 or 10, being a political necessity.

Fixing the crack in Curly's wooden skull was easy ..... even though he resisted somewhat. The same could not be said however, for the millions of readers of Daily Kos, Eschaton, or Democratic Underground.

"Despite repeated blows to the head and eventual electric shock therapy, the candidate was unable to recall any of the promises he had made during the campaign."

"The Jay Leno/ John Kerry Chin Strap Gage still in testing stage."

" The Jay Leno/John Kerry Chin Strap Gage still needs Moe testing."

The original Heimlich was a machine not a maneuver. Repeated deaths however warranted a makeover.

come on senator Kerry tell us what your position on the war is....

The U.S. Army introduces their new crack interrogation team demonstrating their latest techniques.

Herb and T-bird's favorite part of the OTB Meet-Up was undoubtedly the chance to meet Anderson.

The Looney Left attempts to coax just one more scream out of Howard Dean. How come is just anyone's guess.

Along with "intelligent design", Phrenology returns to the classroom.

Democratic party leadership demonstrates why you don't often hear Democrats admitting GWB is doing the right thing.

Odd how these are the people screaming about how torture doesn't work.

The Democratic leadership steps up its efforts to convince Senator Lieberman that things are not really going all that well in Iraq.

"Senator Kerry, we'll just squeeze your head a bit so you won't have that big-headed Lincoln look."

Reid! Durbin! Cheese!!!...Reid! Durbin! Cheese!!!

Howard Dean's handlers have finally discovered how to keep him from putting his foot in his mouth.

Two out of three Americans agree, torture can actually be fun.

Divine. The number Phi, 1.618, can be found everywhere in nature.

Casey Sheehan, up there somewhere with Larry, Curly, and Moe: "That was a great gag, boys. But really, a 50-ton press would work REALLY well for a certain someone."

In the latest of classified leaks, the real strategists behind the Democrat positions on just about everything are revealed.

Despite a protest from the White House, the New York Times went ahead and released unsourced photographs of prisoner treatment at Gitmo. Inexplicably, poll numbers in favor of the President's efforts against terrorism climbed higher. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

"Coises! Pinched by the vise squad!"

The President said he never authorized the use of this torture and he never heard of Curly, Moe & Larry.

...on tonight's panel, Mort Kondrake, Fred Barnes and Charles Krauthammer, Fox News Contributors all.

NEW COMEDY QUARTET: MOE, LARRY, CURLEY AND JED CLAMPETT

Can you please pass the jelly?

In a bold strategic reversal of protocol, Democrats nominate their Vise-President candidate for 2008 first.

Despite celebrity endorsements and a Starbucks cross-promotion, the "Howard Dean Scream Modulator" was a big bust for the DNC this Christmas.

Just another liberal social program.

Never bounce a check at Wal-Mart!