Do Not Taunt Pepe's Fun Balls.

Dude, those are some serious skid marks.

Carlos gave a great Header

The referee later ruled that it was a legal play; That he was going for the ball and not holding. Holding what, specifically, or, for that matter which ball, was something that the referee never did rule on.

Do not flaunt crappy bun ball.

It became obvious that the coach's directive to "keep your eyes on the ball" was just not specific enough for some of his players.

Carlos is curious how Pedro can make a ball appear to defy gravity for hours.

Good news, Pepe, your prostate looks normal!

There was no other way to explain the loss - the team simply blew it.

Alberto gets a closer look, waiting for the monkey...

Red card, yellow card, or a Hallmark card with flowers over a candlelit dinner?

To his horror, Manny immediately realized that Julio had definitely committed a Brown Card violation.

Another prime example of an exception to the old adage "'tis better to give than to receive."

Soccer great Rudy Sanchez performs the most difficult header of his illustrious career.

Kama Sutra page 143: Levitation and the Defensive Wrestling Position.

The next 1.3 seconds would prove to be a critical turning point in the life of at least one of these two soccer players.

After seeing this picture, Elton John abruptly divorced his new bride and bought 3 soccer clubs.

Renaldo to self: 'If he farts right now I'm gonna rack him so hard he won't be able to walk for a week.'

Who says 1-0 soccer games have to be boring.

The roaring of the crowd in Jose's ears was suddenly replaced by a wretched, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Soccer on all fours was not quite the same game.

"Spur marks! ? ! Hey, you saw Brokeback Mountain without me!"

The removal of the ball and soccer player eased some of the discomfort, but it took a long time for Matt Leinart to recover from the posterior pain provided by the Longhorns.

In an effort to expand its appeal in the US, the US soccer league took a page from the movie "Brokeback Mountain" and changed its rules on what was previously considered unsportsmanlike behavior.

Andrew Sullivan never was allowed on the pitch ever again.

Since the use of hands is illegal, Renaldo's ponders his remaining options.

Jose had trouble choosing between his soccer career and his proctology scholarship. He tries to make the best of both worlds.

"Dude, you shoulda used Preparation H."

Brokeback Mountin'

I think we've taken this whole "dog" thing a little too far.

Stars? I can see Uranus.

If you aren't the lead dog the view never changes.

I thought Vinnie Jones had retired.

"Soccett, coming to your neighborhood Antique Mall real soon!"

"And the weather today is being brought to us from Leonardo in the field."

"Looking shady and cloudy with showers expected immediately, a good soaking, some thunder, then overcast."

At this point, the audience felt Rodrigo was showing off. How many other players can keep the ball floating over their butts using nothing but flatulence?

Heading three balls in one play.

Goooooooal!!

Boxers or briefs?

As demonstrated here, soccer's version of the old fraternity hazing prank "the elephant walk" adds a couple of fun twists.

H-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-L-E!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoops.

"H-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-L-E!!"

"I See England, I See France, I See Julien's ... OMG! ... Family Jewels Dance."

Something I never thought I'd see in football: A hole in Juan...

This is a move known in soccer as "heading the ball"

FIFA: Face In Friend's Ass.