(hehe, sorryyyy)

Fugue for Dems Scorned (with apologies to Damon Runyan)

SENATOR BIDEN:
It’s in my notes right here,
A scholar I revere,
Says Tribe’s a guy who knows when a penumbra’s near.

Can’t do, can’t do,
Larry says Alito’s through.
If he says Alito’s through,
Can’t do, can’t do.

(SENATOR KENNEDY starts singing his part at this time, while SENATOR BIDEN continues:)

Can’t do, can’t do,
Larry says Alito’s through.
If he says Alito’s through,
Can’t do, can’t do.

(SENATOR LEAHY starts singing his part at this time, while SENATOR BIDEN and SENATOR KENNEDY continue:)

With Larry Tribe I’ll fight
Sammy with all my might.
Of course, if Dujack’s here it’s sweet prince good night.

Likes mud, likes mud,
Senate Democrats like mud.
Senate Democrats fling mud,
Sling mud, like mud.

Now Chucky Schumer here,
Can be a horse’s rear,
He does a great impression that’s real sincere.

Lie one, lie two,
A lie told enough ‘comes true.
Larry says Alito’s through,
Can’t do, can’t do.

Horse’s rear. I got the mud right here.

SENATOR KENNEDY:
I’m pickin’ Ballantine,
On ice, this morning’s fine.
It’s got to be at least five ‘til nine.

No chance, no chance,
This extremist has no chance.
If I say he’s got no chance,
No chance. No chance.

Thanks for the Ballantine,
It’s really quite sublime,
Start pouring if you see it fall below this line.

Needs ice, needs ice,
My aide says my drink needs ice.
If he says my drink needs ice,
Needs ice. Needs ice.

Bring me more Ballantine,
My buzz is in decline.
I don’t give a damn if it’s not yet nine.

No chance, no chance,
Alioto’s got no chance.

Ballantine! I got my drink right here.

SENATOR LEAHY:
This is our epitaph,
As people point and laugh,
While we try and pin our failure on devoted staff.

“Flop sweat” – “Flop sweat”
Rusher called our bluff – “Flop sweat”
Enough is enough – “Flop sweat”,
Flop sweat, flop sweat.

And just a minute, boys.
Let’s pull out all our toys,
And make the nominee’s wife cry and lose her poise.

No class. No class.
Smears, lies, and nonsense, no class.
We don’t need no stinkin’ class.
No class. No class.

So write our epitaph, since we failed to gaff
Sam Alito with our posturing silly chaff.

Epitaph! I got the smear right here!

Other Captioning Silliness:
Wizbang
It Comes In Pints?
Outside the Beltway.
If you're doing caption fun, email me or trackback.

I guess I'll go through and pick the "best of" on Sunday Night/Monday Morning....

This sure as hell ain't the Senate "Intelligence" Committee!

Kennedy: "Hey, that's a pretty good line. Wonder if he'll let me use it sometime?"

Leahy: [thinks] "Please, God -- just kill me now."