You put your right ear in
You put your right ear out
You put your right ear in
And you shake it all about.

Oh, the hokey pokey,
Oh, the hokey pokey,
Oh, the hokey pokey,
That's what it's all about.

Pornography ..... know it when I see it [would you look at that (dang Jenna!)].

I have written the answer to your question on this piece of paper. If such a case appears before me in the Supreme Court, my answer will then be revealed...

Biden: "What have I got in my pocket?"
Alito: "We wonders. What has it gots in its pocketses?"

"Pssst. When Chafee starts talking, open the flood gates, just like we practiced."

Chafee? Where'd that come from?

How about, "When Graham starts talking..."

Judge Alito and his wife lean hard to the left togehter in an old DC prank that results in Ted Kennedy becoming disoriented to the point he falls out of his chair.

And suddenly the godaddy.com spokeswoman returned for another round of Senate questioning.

Mr. A. tttttthhhhheeeee wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go round and round, "it depends Senator Biden", round and round

Never having met him in person before, Sam Alito is stunned by the size of Ted Kennedy as the Senator arrives for the committee hearings.

After the first hour of "questioning" by Senator Joe Biden, Sam Alito folds up his notes realizing he's really not going to need them anymore that day.

Samuel Alito, right-leaning nominee for the Supreme Court.

Biden: Judge Alito, I know you can't comment on cases that might come before you, but could you at least give us an indication as to which direction you would lean on these cases?

Samuel Alito, in a moment of dismay, realizes he forgot his V8.

As Ted Kennedy shifts in his chair, the Capitol's stabilizers struggle to keep up.

Martha and Sam agreed to lean to the right.

A clear demonstration of the physics involved when riding The Judiciator -- The more the ride tilts to the left, the more the riders have to lean to the right.

Spock! Get those sheilds back up! Prepare to return fire, Mr. Checkov....

After another long Senatorial soliloquy, Judge Alito is asked for his interpretation of some of the more ... interesting ... scenes from Brokeback Mountain.

Looks like the Supreme Court is starting to list Alito to the right.

Further confounding his democratic questioners, Judge Alito cocks his head at Sen. Biden in the manner a dog does when he hears a sound he doesn't understand.

for my next trick ladies and gentlemen I will lean to the right and demonstrate the utter stupidity of the democrats on this comitee.

Is the glass half full or half empty? Well if Biden would shut his pie hole for a couple of minutes, maybe we could hear what Alito thinks about it.

In a bizarre alternate universe, the US political position is reversed. The Republicans are in the Senate minority. Al Gore, in his second term, nominates a competent judge with an extensive Judicial record. Judge Alito, son of working class parents and part of the continuing FDR New Deal coalition that has repeatedly beaten Republican defeatism in presidential elections is before the Senate confirmation committee.

Orrin Hatch: What about the tie Judge Alito? A red tie has been the sign of a fellow traveler since the 1930's. It's obvious you are a communist. Why won't you admit the red tie proves you are a communist? Oooh Look! His wife is wearing red also. They are probably part of the same cell. Am I the only one who can see the tie? I can not vote for a communist for the supreme court.

Judge Alito and wife discover that with just the right head angle, their view of Ted Kennedy is complete obscured.

Mr. and Mrs. Alito attempt to remain upright in the face of a gale-force wind blowing from the vicinity of the senior Senator from Massachusetts.

I'll answer that question on US Drug policy senator just as soon as I finish wrapping this megajoint.

'Scuse me while I whip this out.' *scream*

Hand the Judge a pithfork and we have another American Gothic.

Republicans and Democrats alike were impressed with Alito's calm demeanor, legal knowledge, and ability to maintain eye contact with a conspicuously inebriated Ted Kennedy during questioning.

The leaning tower of pissed off.

"Same as it ever was..."

"U can't touch this..."

Like my grandpa always said, "If you want to catch a big fish, you gotta hold your head just right."

"...Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Kennedy, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that
Is he? No
He won't have it, he knows his whole back city's ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke
He's so stacked that he knows
When he goes back to his Palm Beach home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap shit
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him"

Alito and his wife recoil as Ted Kennedy's "liquid breakfast breath" drifts in from their left.

Due to lightening fast reflexes, Teddy's shoe missed both Alito and his wife.

My God is that his HEAD?

Is he CHUGGING Black Label?

I'm leaning Alito to the right, Senator.

It was a simple signal. If he leaned to the left, turn on the tears.

Alito and his wife try to adjust as the Senate hearings are moved to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
********

Mrs. Alito thinks to herself, "Stop moving your head, Sam! You're blocking the camera's view of me!"

It's not that Judge Alito and his wife leaned so far to the right, it was just that from that perspective, the left-leaning Democrats opposite them appeared almost normal.

Even their heads tilt to the right.

Judge Alito's thoughts:
-What would Jack Bauer do at this moment?
He would probably pull out his gun and put an end to this nonsense right now.

Mrs. Alito revealed that this was the closest she and her husband had come to dancing in years so she just followed his lead.