Can you hear me NOW?

Can you hear me.. *BOOM*

(The NSA picks up another suspicious cell phone call) "That's what I said, 50 pizzas to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue...Yes, the name is George...."

When you're smiling....

"Mr. President? This is the Mossad. So, how do you like our cell phone?"

Hello? Goldies 91? I would like to request the "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" song.

Pres: Osama, Osama you crack me up, so when are you going to stop by and pick up your bomb?

OBL: What about the Americans?

Pres: no, no don't worry the Eurpeans and UN are leading the negotiations to end our nuclear energy program..

Pres/OBL : laughter

"Keep those cartoons coming, Abdul-Aziz. People don't know we are behind it. It might be funny to depict Muhammad eating a Danish."

-"Thank you for calling Dell, this is Mahmoud..I mean..Tim. How may I help you?"

-Muslim anger peaked again as the zionist AP Reporter photographed Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to look like he had devil horns"

Ah hum, ah hum, You tell those infidels that my cell-phone came with UN inspector deterrent.

For international service with Sprint, please call 1-800-BOMB-DROP

"I loved Grandpa Munster! I'm smiling now just thinking about him. Look, send flowers To Grandpa from the Islamic Republic of Iran."

The Iranian President was smiling as he came out of the first showing of "Brokeback Mountain" in Iran...
He immediately reached for a cell phone and made plans for the evening, for reasons unknown to the press.

"He-he, good one Mahmoud, keep up the good work. You're right, burying dishonored women up to their waists and stoning them to death is more fun than a barrel of monkeys. I remember we used to lob big rocks up in the air toward the vile bitches' heads to get their attention, then have a guy on the side fire a fastball to the ear. Yeah, ha-ha, man, that makes a funny sound. Once all this meddling from the Infidels goes away, maybe we can get in a few rounds?"

Hello, Hussein, good to hear from you...I can't understand you...slow down; you're going to have to quit yelling into the phone...what do you mean by "they're inbound"? Who's inbound?

Hussein? Hussein? Sumofabitch hungup on me!!

ooh! Akmed, look...a shooting star!

Hey Mom, Guess what, I just defied America, you want to know what I'm going to do next?

I'm going to Islamaland!

"No, I'm sorry I can't hear you, somebody's whistling real loud. And it's getting louder... uh-oh, gotta run."

"Jack Bauer? I never heard of you"

"No....no. Now when I smile for photographs I say "Cheeeeez Danish."

For the last time infidel! I am not Yakov Smirnoff!!!

Hey, Mahmoud, it's W. Quick question: anybody brief you on MOABs?

Hey, I just hit my parley - Steelers win, and we get referred to the Security Council.

"Yeah, you were absolutely right! Those UN inspectors never did figure out where we hid our two nuclear missles!"

"Ok, slowly remove your head-to-toe black chador and as you remove each item describe the removal and what your body looks like. Good, good. Very good."

“No, no, no, babe. You listen to me! If the Hollywood infidels want to make a simpatico movie based on the glorious life of Ahmadinejad and heroic the struggle of Iranian people against the great Satan, you tell them that Al Pacino is way too old and ugly. Get Jake Gyllenhaal the script, capisce? He’d be perfect as me: introspective and dreamy, yet intense and unstable. Oh, and also, tell them I demand executive producer credits and ten percent of the gross, you got that? Okay…Fabulous. We’ll do goat next time you’re in Teheran. Ciao babe”

Ingrates! My Bob Newhart routine killed them in Davos!

"Hold on, lemme check. Amanda Hugginkiss? Amanda Hugginkiss? Hey, everybody, I need Amanda Hugginkiss!"

What's that ticking sound? What do you mean you don't hear it? I hear it ....

Ha ha, funny ring tone ..... I get it, Barabara Ann by the Beach Boys. Moo-amar you crack me up. Wah do ya mean give up my nukes? I ain' no beootch like you Moo. I'm the King of Iran and don't you forget it (facocta Libyans).

"I need a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, four detonators and my nose hair clippers."