Watch carefully, now! Nothing up my sleeve. And poof, Israel is gone!

Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal practices assuming the position. May come in handy down the road.

Why, thank you: my wife thinks I look a little like George Clooney, too. Of course, if I find out that he's a Jew, I'll have to have him, her and you killed for the insult.

I'm acting like I'm this many years old.

George Clooney realizes he's pulled off the impossible. Finally! A Westerner gets to lead Hamas.

"I live in a box ." "Next Question?"

Kkaled "Marcel Marceau" Meshaal tells reporters about Palestinian feelings regarding the Israeli-built West Bank Wall of Separation.

"I swear, I swear. He look exactly like Jack Bauer. I was like, 'holy freaking crap,' you know what I'm saying?"

Hamas leader Khaleed Meshal denies using "Just For Martyrs" to two-tone his beard.

See, it is untrue....no hairy palms.....

Iranian Foreign Minister, Farooq Maqmud (pictured at right), demonstrates the new Palestinian Puppet Government.

I told you, Adbul, just like a baby's bottom!

Look ma! I washed for supper!

I swear by Allah's beard I have no idea what happened to my necktie! I promise you I was wearing it only ten minutes ago!

"I promise not to kill anyone!"

Uh-Oh These do not look like reporters to me……

As you can see, I still have both of my hands so the allegations that I am a crook are false!

Once again, I am not Grizzly Adams, so just stop bothering me

"I will now perform my puppet shadow routine which demonstrates how we will drive the Jew pigs into the sea!"

look ma, no blood.

"Do you see? It is a vicious Israeli lie that masturbation causes hair to grow on your palms."

New Clapping Game

Oh Ara fat, fat, fat
all dressed in black black black
you are now gone, gone, gone
please just come back, back, back

"Talk to the hands, my ears hear NUTHING!"

"So, I was in downtown Ankara doing a little diplomacy when this mugger comes up - Abdul behind me will demonstrate - this mugger comes up behind me and wants my wallet. So, I put my hands up and say, sir, I am from Hamas, I don't have any money of my own, I spend other people's money..."

Oops. Maybe it was a bad idea feeding my bodyguard's family through that trash compactor.

"Hey Iraqi, watch me pull a Wahabi out of my hat! Nothing up my sleeve..."

Khaled Meshaal does his bit to improve Hamas' reputation by raising the roof instead of blowing it up.

Condi's efforts to put Hamas in a box seem to be working.

Mime's a lot tougher than it looks.

the Palestinian president, responding to a question about why you never see him and George Clooney in the same room together, even though their politics are so similar.

"Yes, oh my, yes, Brokeback Mountain was just fabulous."

Everybody wants to be David Byrne.

"I saw Bill Clinton do this last week and the crowd loved it."

"Oh Allah, Where Art Thou?"

"So Allah, Mohammad, and a duck walk into a bar see, and..."

"If only I could get that Live Long and Prosper hand thing down, people would know I'm not really such a bad guy."

"Yes, I was there. This was the last thing Rachel Corrie did."

-or-

"You knew Rachel Corrie? what kind of impression did she leave you with."

"In a celebration of ecumenical diversity, Hamas will forego blowing up Jews for Lent."

"Islamic Peace will look like this, hands raised high in surrender or disembodied heads like the one on the pike over my shoulder."

"We have all been had!"

Brother Achmed (over right shoulder)

NBC, ABC, CNNi, BBC, Al-Jazzera, PNN (Palestinian News Network), Al-Assad (National Syrian Channel), ITV, Telemundo. Yes all of the propoganda News Channels of note are here, and thank Allah Fox News isn't.

In a rather blatant demonstration of political opportunism, Hamas shows how they will push all fat chicks into the sea.

"We will put a stop to Israel, George Clooney, hairy palms, neckties, Grizzly Adams, the memory of Rachel Corrie, the NEWS and fat chicks."

We call for death to all American infidels...unless they want us to run their ports.

When asked if he was going to follow in Arafat’s footsteps, Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal throws his hands up to indicate it had been ten years since he’d done that.