"I like bread and butter, I like toast and jam, I like a little bit chocolate because I'm an Arkansas Man. Hillery told me something just the other day, one more piece of candy Bill an I'm going to blow you away."

"Heh. Hillary made me wear this pink tie but it ain't made a damn bit of difference, has it?"

America's first black President couldn't contain his excitement when he learned that "Monica" in Swahili means "bring me a cigar."

Man, I wish I could move like that..

This is just soooo wrong....

Bill: Heh, shake your ass and let me watch yourself is right.

With the wax statue of the fertility god in place, the ritual mating dance of the Clintoro tribe began.

"Smoke 'em, if ya got 'em."

"What we should be striving for is a greater extension of multiculturalism so that -- whoa, look at the junk in her trunk, boy I tell you what I could do to that --"

"Mr. President ..."

"Oh, right. Right."

"That's a purty blue dress..."

People had to be imported from other nations to exalt for George Mason University in March Madness because the students and alumni had no idea how to do it.

"He said it was thiiiiis big."

"He lied. It's actually about this big."

The crowd reacts to a hilarious barb from Chris Rock directed at Bill Clinton's ludicrous colored tie.

"Movin' on up, to the East Side..."

James,

This thinly veiled racism is not very cool...

Today, anthropologists released photos of a recently discovered lost African tribe. They are seen here dancing around a wooden statue of the Great White Redeemer.

Their legends tell that he was once black, became white - and will soon rise again, this time as a woman. And through her, he will feel and relieve pain throughout the land.

Holy moly...lookin' good Mr. Bill! I guess Hillary's not in town this week, huh?

I said, I guess Hil...oh, never mind...

Bill: So what's Al say on the phone?

Aide: He's claiming he invented this Jamacian dance, it seems to copy something called a "Dancing Baby" that was floating around "HIS" internet for a few years.

Bill thinking: Good code Al. The Jamacian Hash shall arrive by messenger tonight.

"Yes George I Do Have An Exit Strategy>>>>Exit Stage Right....

"Ya Know Folks I Made A Few Mistakes During My Time In Office But Al Gore Never Shot Anybody."

This is a really neat show!

The opening of the exhibit honoring "America's First Black President" at Madam Tussaud's was full of fanfare. It was kid-friendly too as some of the important parts of the Clinton Presidency were tastefully obscured from direct view.

"I sat harder on this bench than anything I've ever sat on in my life."

Not a caption, per se, but to the thin-skinned, almost everything is thinly veiled. Nonetheless, you gotta keep your eye on those racists at AP all the time, especially the Mighty Quinn.

My, my, my music hits me so hard
Makes me say "Oh my Lord"
Thank you for blessing me
With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet
It feels good, when you know you're down
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

I told you homeboy (You can't touch this)
Yeah, that's how we living and you know (You can't touch this)

Yo, I told you (You can't touch this)
Why you standing there, man? (You can't touch this)
Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka (You can't touch this)

So wave your hands in the air
Bust a few moves, fun your fingers through your hair

Every time you see me
The Hammer's just so hype
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"

"Mr. President, you just start shouting Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Pretty soon there is a reason to shout. Life is like that."

"Heh-heh, that's right girls. Once you go Prez, you never go Lez. But hey, if you want to that's okay because me and Little Willie REALLY like to watch."

"OK, cool man, but where's this Leg-gae party they been-a talkin' about?"

While Randy thought it was not exactly his best performance in the competition so far, and Paula thought it was utterly dreamy, Simon agreed with the rest of us that the pathetic little creep should get the hell off the stage.

I've got the best seat in the house, Clinton thought, as the words "Shake your booty" drummed through his brain.

(Apologies - I just HAD to make a revision!)

I've got the best seat in the house, Clinton thought, as the words "Shake your booty" drummed through his LITTLE brain.

or
....drummed throught his LITTLE head.

nyuk nyuk nyuk

Singers:
Pea-nut Butter Jelly Time,
Pea-nut Butter Jelly Time,
(quicktime) Peanut Butter Jelly Time, Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Peanut Butter Jelly
Peanut Butter Jelly...

Clinton thinking: I've got Peanut on the left, Butter on the Right, and my own knife to spread them around, if you know what I mean.

(Have to know the most annoying song in the world, The Peanut Butter and Jelly Time) to get that one.

Dill, I was trying to be a little "nice"! And didn't Monica say it was "big"?

The famous witchdoctor scene from "How Bill Clinton Became the First Black President."

"Don't Ya Just Hate It When People Laugh At Your Tie."

The Memorial Service for Chef from South Park was spirited. President Clinton said, "Chef was one smooth-talking dude. A kindred spirit, he was an expert on getting it on with the ladies."