The planet formerly known as Earth was destroyed and rendered uninhabitable by Planet Killer.

Even in the vacuum of space, the stuffed bears couldn't resist some good-natured crotch-punching.

Go long .... farther .... more .... that's too far.

The reverse moonbat migration begins. Hollyweirders who left after Bush's reelection, are now (unfortunately) returning. Immigration and Customs however, have put on extra staff to accomodate the increase. Holiday travelers should still expect longer lines at interplanetary border crossings, none the less.

The right stuffed?

(Postcards from the edge)

Dear Rosie O'donnell/George Clooney/Madonna/Sheryl Crow/Linda Ronstadt/Puff Daddy/Kanye West/Keith Olbermann/Cindy Sheehan/Dennis Kucinich ..... wish you were here.

"It's just a mission 'control' thing. Look, I took my helmet off and nothing happened."

Recently discovered footage from a Muppet Show pilot "Bears In Spaaaaaaace".

"If we see a tool bag floating around, I call dibs!"

"One more Palin joke and you're going to be a shooting star over Novosibirsk!"

Han Solo takes Chewie for a space walk, "I just don't see why you won't use the litter box!"

In space no one can hear you squeak.

I'm sorry, Paddington, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Apprently, there is something you will touch with a ten foot pole.

No, I said I wish I could get a couple of beers up here.

So Build-A-Bear has a store on the Space Station?

The ursinusoidal oscillations give me a funny feeling in my spacesuit.

North Korean cosmonauts.

Does a bear poop in space?

"Hey!- I can see Paddingtion Station from up here!"

"What ya starin' at mate? Ave'nt ya evah seen a pole-ah bear befoah?

* Headline: Bear Takes Over International Space Station in Pooh-de-Tat

* Remember: Only YOU can prevent space station fires

* Wokka, Wokka!

*Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear - Fuzzy Wuzzy had no air!

* I'm sorry, Pooh... I'm afraid I can't do that...

And your wonder why college tuition is so high.

Yes sir. I agree that the new astronauts do much better on the 'sit' and 'stay' commands, but do you really think they would be as good if there was an emergency.

The good news is that mission control has finally acknowledged our hints about 'wanting a little company when we go to sleep at night'. The bad news is that I don't think their solution will really address the root issue.

Now that Obama is elected, is there anything not possible?

Mommy, when will Daddy give me back my Teddy-bear?

Because Teddy bears were named after a republican president, Teddy Roosevelt, Obama has banned them from earth.

"I'm just saying that the Mile High Club seemed a lot more fun in a cameraless, semi-private compartment."

1st bear: Do you ever get the feeling somebody is out to get you?

2nd bear: You think! Look, if you slide off that pole, we're done for.

When you said this was a new cheaper way to fly, I didn't imagine this for one minute.

Shut up and hang on, Bear. We've only got a few hundred miles to go.

Ground control to Major Ted (E. Bear) ....