"Secretary Ridge rolls out the Terror Alert Monkeys, because that chart was too boring."

Missed it by a few minutes it seems Steven, I pass on my terror alert caption.

Several participants in Paris Hilton's The Simple Life - Chinese Edition were not amused.

Yellow Monkey--"Hey, anybody feel like evolving into a higher species today?"

Brown Monkey--"Nah, I kind of like feeling superior to Democrats right now"

Know your democratic candidates
From left to right
Kerry; Highest on the poles.
Dean: Mouth always open
Lieberman: Leaning to the right
Clark: Can't quite convey just what he is

Go Anaheim Angels!
Do it again in 2004.

Clark, Sharpton and Lieberman consult Gephardt about the protocol of withdrawing.

"Baboon Eye for the Hominid Guy"

"In a desperate bid to ensure that her legacy is not forgotten, Cindi Lauper has a set of monkeys, knowing that people remember charming animals better than they do washed-up pop stars. The public is yet undecided as to the monkeys being charming."

*... dyed a set of monkeys." I forgot that operative word, sorry James.

4 out of 5 colorful primates surveyed say that bush IS the missing link.

"I don't know what you guys think, but I'm genetically a lot closer to Al Franken than I would care for."

In order of finish... look at those faces

John 'dontcallmeJFK' Kerry
Howard 'Yeeeeaaaaagh' Dean
Mr. 'IamPretty' Edwards
Wesley 'Waco-kid' Clark

Now I know why we haven't been able to find bin Laden.

Arthur, Eugene and Boris all cursed the day Bert threw his pelt in with their laundry on a hot load.

Frank J's nightmare
The Year of the Monkey - In Technicolor

"Ok, I'm See No Evil and I'm for Edwards.
You're Hear No Evil and you're for Clark.
He's Speak No Evil and he's for Kerry.
Then who is that guy?"
"I'm Evel Knievel. I love danger and I'm over the top. I'm for Dean. YEAGH!!"

To get John's hair style and shade just right, John Kerry's campaign personnel had had to utilize a number of test subjects. It is not as yet known what PETA's response to this process is.

(Thanks to Dodd's current "It's a Major Award" post for the idea)

"It's all about Carolina."
"Yep."
"Whoever wins ... wins."
"Yep."
"What do you say?"
"Go Patriots!"

Follywood goes ape for Kerry!

"I'm gonna miss the baby kissing and the flapjacks."
"I liked the speeches and debates."
"Yep, just loved the days of back-slapping, flesh-pressing and sham promises."
"I love a low down dirty campaign, myself."

Democratic Candidates Prepare For Forum

"What do you do with a BLUE monkey?"

"You Cheer it up."

Frank J's recurring nightmare, "Queer eye for the simian guy."

"We need a Democratic POTUS candidate who is a philanderer."
"Yeah, philanderers have charisma."
"Like Taylor, JFK, Clinton, Harding and FDR."
"We want a philanderer! We want a philanderer!"