Third:lawhawk - Hey, did you catch Condi in those boots? GRWWWW!
Honorable Mention:
Brian J. - It’s an American joke George Bush told me: Pull my thumb.
Laurence Simon - âTry to guess where my other thumb is, Vladimir.â
Maniakes - “As a matter of fact, Vlad, I HAVE always wanted to have a threesome with two world leaders. Is Jacques up for it?”
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“What happens in Red Square, Stays in Red Square.”
The genre was deemed to have gone to far, when with X-MEN XIII– Feigned-Interest Man,Taken-aback Girl, and Stinkfinger made their debut on the Super Hero scene.
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First: Rachel Edith - “Liked the line, shape, form, value, space, color and texture. And rather liked the bulge.”
Second:John Burgess - “Never a cop around when you need one? Keep a spare or two and be confident!” FOP ad in the AARP Journal.
Third:The Man - The introduction of the TV show COPS on the Sundance Channel was met with mixed reviews.
Honorable Mention:
McGehee - “I may not know much about art, but I know what I like. And I don’t like this.”
Jufray - dat RODNEY KING be one bad ass artiste.
Maniakes - Protect a little old lady? We can do that standing on our heads!
The Man - Yeah this shift sucks, but at least we donât work at Newsweek.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Phhht … Pamela Anderson, nothing, I’ve got bigger boobs than her. They’re hanging over there on the wall.”
What do you call two cops hanging on the wall, usually by a window? (you figure it out)
The Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First:The Man - One of these two is a relic of a failed system, the other is missing a nose.
Second: Hermoine - “I broke it off, but ⦠as you can see I have raised my right hand and I will give the Scout’s Honor or recite the Pledge of Allegiance (sans the ‘under God’ part) or slap myself in the face ⦠whatever ⦠just donât make me go back to Crawford, Texas again.”
Third:Brandon Jaynes - I broke it off, but since I’m not the leader of a democracy, I don’t have to answer to you!
Honorable Mention:
Brian J. - “Ooh, ooh, I know! Man! For he crawls on all fours as a child, walks upright as an adult, and then uses a cane in old age,” Putin answered, oddly enough, on Mother’s Day.
John - All Hail King PUT!!
Kenny - Vlad couldn’t qualify at home, so he searched out abroad before finally landing an appearance on Egyptian Idol.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“OK, I broke it off, but more importantly, I saved $187.00 with GEICO.”
“I didn’t break it off, but I saw that Rodney Dill did.”
The (much harder) Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
I hate to admit I posess this knowledge but---the "woohoo" tune quoted here is for Vonage Telcom coomercials, not Geico.
Posted by JW | May 13, 2005 | 12:30 pm | Permalink
The bottom of the barrel was meant to be read as three separate captions. The Vonage commercials always mentions 'people do stupid things,' (like breaking of the nose of the sphinx) so I threw out the "woo hoo's" to make people think of that.
At least somebody is reading down to the bottom of the post ;)
Posted by Rodney Dill | May 13, 2005 | 01:26 pm | Permalink
Vonage is currently using that noise... though a few months ago, at least two orgs were using it in spots seen here in Rochester... though I don't recall who the other was.
Alex Knapp - See what happens when you start opening McDonaldâs in Asia?
Dodd - Ratings for CBS’ twelfth annual “A Very Special Bill Clinton Birthday Party” were lower than in previous years.
The Man - Next on Fox: Who Wants to Marry Michael Moore
Hodink - It was the upcoming lap dance segment that terrified Dan.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Movie Remake Hell
The movie TRON remade as JUMBOTRON
Miss ComonIwannalaya, who eventually won the Miss Volcano pageant, had this bio. “I’m hot, steamy, and ready to blow at any minute.” (these ARE labeled “bottom of the barrel” for a reason)
Several years, and a number of pounds, later Lyndie went on to star in, Abu Ghraib, the musical.
The Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First:Laurence Simon - “I don’t care if he sold us a BILLION barrels of oil a day. The man grabbed my hand and kissed me, dammit.”
Second:Jay Tea - “Plant that tree faster, dammit! I don’t know how much longer I can hold it!”
Third:Sgt Fluffy - I’ll tell ya he’s small, but damn! he craps like a horse!
Honorable Mention:
McGehee - “We’re gonna need more pooper scoopers. And Barney, no more eating all of Helen Thomas’ bran muffins. Bad dog!”
Jay Tea - “…and here is where we found Helen Thomas after Barney tried to bury her. Itâs not his faultâshe really does look and smell dead to a dog.”
Steven L. - “. . . and so we put it here, next to John Kerry’s presidential hopes.”
Best Monty Python Ripoff
Maniakes
“I just spend four hours burying the dog.”
“Four hours to bury a dog?!”
“Well, he wouldn’t keep still. He kept wriggling about, howling.”
“He’s not dead then.”
“Yes, but he’s not at all a well dog, and since I’m going to be away for a week I thought I better bury him just to be on the safe side.”
“Oh, yes. Don’t want to come home from a summit meeting to a dead dog.”
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“What’s wrong with you Secret Service guys, you don’t know how to use a shovel? you keep burying Barney, but he keeps digging his way back out.”
“…and whenever I leave a big mess on his carpet, he rubs my nose in it.
“Hmmm, this reporter has been interviewing terrorists, I smell lamb shwarma on the mike.”
George: “Gentlemen, our energy crisis is over. It was Barney right there that discovered oil under the White House.”
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
I felt like mine was more of a bottom of the barrel, but I'll take first. BOOYAH!
Sorry Jay Tea, it doesn't hold true. The previous contest only had damn in the second place, and the previous 3-4 contests don't have it at all in the top three. Though I did have to check to make sure I hadn't established some subconscious pattern.
I always thought that Kevin was a sucker for some the Lewinski and Washingtonienne type references, though "pull my finger" was usually good for runner-up as you should know. ;)
Rodney "E. B". Dill
Posted by Rodney Dill | May 6, 2005 | 03:19 pm | Permalink
The Courage award resemblance to a liquor bottle, chance or design?
Michael - Not a caption, but I swear to GOD he’s looking at that bottle like my dog looks at the steak I’m eating.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Yushchenko: “Everyone needs to believe in something.”
Kennedy: “I believe I’ll have another drink.”
Diogenes see’s there’s nothing of interest here and decides to move along.
“Don’t shake, I got your courage right here Teddy.”
“Its supposed to represent concentrated courage, but don’t drink it, we just bottled Dan Rather.”
Teddy: “Boy You look like crap.”
Viktor: “Dioxin will do that, what’s your excuse”
The Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First:John Burgess - “I don’t know how I got talked into pollinating the freaking lotus again!”
Second:Donald Sensing - What the? According to Mapquest I should be at the giant Buddha now! Man, I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuequerque!
Third: Hodink - “My stick is bigger than your stick.”
Honorable Mention:
Alex Knapp - Best visual metaphor for relationships ever.
Alan Kellogg - You’d better be real good, little man.
Kenny - “I can’t believe I drew Q-tip duty again.”
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Just call me ‘Tex,’ Ma’am, you can drop the ‘Ko’ part.”
Armen knew by the time he reached his target he would be the appropriate size, after all, he HAD taken Viagra, and he WAS a lawyer.
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First:Crerar - Thatâs a nice trick seargent Baalzadropov â but what did you do with the pylon?
Second:Laurence Simon - They haven’t yet built the combat robot that can do this
Third: Oski - While normally viewed as an asset in arid climates, Pvt. Splitovski a.k.a. the human divining rod, embarrassed his fellow troops when they marched on the rain soaked parade grounds.
Honorable Mention:
Timmer - The kids from Chernobyl strut their stuff.
Scott P - Soldiers watch a demonstration of the latest Field Medical Directive: How to alleviate “Soldierâs Itch.”
Cassandra - Despite intense mentoring, Private Pushkin continued to demonstrate considerable confusion as to the meaning of the term “balls-to-the-wall”.
LJD - Russians prove the viability of gays in the military: In an effort to save his comrades, Ivan drops on a grenade. . .
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Oh by the way, the commissary is stocked with toilet paper again.”
The Russian Military Chorus never looked forward to a Head-of-State visit from the U.S.A. as special preparations were needed to hit the high notes during the obligatory singing of the Star Spangled Banner.
The Monday contest has already started.
UPDATE: Wizbang has announced their winner for the same picture. (I picked the Thursday-Monday, Monday-Thursday cycle for a reason). Villainous Company still has a contest with the same picture open.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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I would’ve sworn when I started this contest that some reference to a Clint Eastwood western would’ve taken first, until I started reading the entries . . .
It was later determined that the Matzoh Western genre would’ve become nearly as popular as the old spaghetti westerns if the producers
hadn’t chosen to pass off Hebrew as Speaking Indian
“Ma Nishma?”
“Hakol B’seder”
The imposter had nearly won the 23Rd annual Jewish spelling bee, until that final, fateful word.
“OK, now the word to spell is Shibboleth”
“Dude, Where’s my promised land?”
The new Village People perform their rendition of Matzoh man
“I must follow the people, am I not their leader” - Benjamin Disraeli
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First: Silicon Valley Jim - These French fellas are takinâ a while to get the hang of rock-paper-scissors.
Second:wavemaker - Principals of The New World Order re-enact Michaelangeloâs “Creation of Adam.”
Third:John Henke - “This Intelligence stuff is easy”, Bush thought, “just pull Chiracâs finger, and I can finally find out what happened to Saddams biological weapons. How could it possibly go wrong?” And yet, it did go wrong.
On the bright side, however, Jacque Chirac won 20 Euros off every other member of the EU.
Honorable Mention:
Loon - It was at that precise moment that the president realised that neither of them had any notion of how a light sabre should be operated.
Laurence Simon - In Europe, they call it “Push my finger.”
Crerar - Which one of you boys wants to commit troops to Iraq?
The Monday contest has already started.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Draw, OK, Chirac you won two out of three, You’re the fastest wienie in the west.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First:Laurence Simon - Don’t do what they did in Florida in 2000 with that butterfly ballot staggered list thing. Line up both sides of the ballot evenly and you wonât be waiting two months to get the next pope in office.
Second:Gary and the Samoyeds - So then the Popemobile tries to cut over to pass on the right, but I had my driver cut him off.
Third:Crerar - I swear to God â that bishop over there deliberately bumped me from behind like this.
Honorable Mention:
Rachel Edith - “So, I am trying hard not to appear anxious or interested but I think these qualifications I’ve set out here leave you no choice but to vote for me in the upcoming conclave.”
Anderson - Okay, so my left hand is the altar boy, and my right hand is the priest ⦠now, say again what happens next?
Confederate Yankee - So even though you guys wear those little beanies, you arenât Jewish? How’s that again?
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Swapping tales of dogfights and fighting evil in general.
“… and you say I’ll get to wear one of those spiffy beanies if I sign up?”
“Are you really sure its OK for us to be discussin’ animal husbandry?”
“And now your $10 has disappeared. . ., say this may help the US economy, how many of you fella’s did you say there was.”
“That church music is pretty good, but I like Marilyn Manson myself.”
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Ok, no offense Laurence, but Confederate Yankee's caption won that hands down!!!!!!
Second:Brandon Jaynes - The newest solution coming from the Minuteman project reminds drivers to use caution when aiming for families of illegals, because they can sometimes run really fast.
Third:TeaFizz - Next, on Family Fear Factor: The highway-crossing competition!
Honorable Mention:
Laurence Simon - “Reinforce Your Front Bumper And Floor It”
Maggie - Prosecuters are considering posting a sign like this one outside Neverland.
Kenny - Everyone scatter! Here comes Rather. And he’s got documents!
The Monday contest has already started.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Eventually the only sanction against Michael Jackson was the placement of this sign at the entrance to NeverLand Ranch.
Caution: Liberals escaping to Canada
I spy something that starts with an “M”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
Blogs of War linked with Terrorist UAVs, Video iPods, Frodo Unveils XBOX 2, the Asian Century, Raining Thrust Reversers, NASA TV, Life, the Universe, and Everything
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First:Eric - There’s a reason kids are scared of clowns
Second:The Dread Pundit Bluto - Ahmed came to regret telling Mahmoud that he would “do anything Allah wills” to help finance the Jihad.
Third:Elisson - Mahmoud Abbas announced today that Hamas and the Al-Aqsa Martyr’s Brigades have accepted the conditions laid down by the Palestinian Authority for a “kinder, gentler Intifada. . .with clowns!” Details on the planned Palestinian Petting Zoo are also expected to be released shortly.
Honorable Mention:
Laurence Simon - “No Syrian Intelligence Agents here, little Lebanese boy. Just clowns. Happy, heavily-armed clowns ready to martyr themselves for Allah.”
Literally Retarded - In a single moment, Sally determined to run for Congress.
Brandon Jaynes - The new NRA marketing plan, targeting the 3-8 age group, has been a huge success.
The Monday contest has already started.
More Below the fold
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Who you calling a Bozo, Kid?
Clown: “Squeeze my red clown nose.”
Girl: “But that’s not your nose.”
Guns don’t kill people, Clowns kill people.
AP BREAKING - In late breaking news today, the World Clown Hall of Fame concluded that Emmett Kelly is no longer the world’s saddest clown.
“Yea, I’m ‘fraid of clowns, but I’m more ‘fraid of Santa, he carries an RPG Launcher.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
I didn't even get Honorable Mention....I must not be sending in ENOUGH choices!
Posted by Maggie | April 7, 2005 | 09:21 pm | Permalink
You can never have too many entries, well almost never.
Posted by Rodney Dill | April 7, 2005 | 09:25 pm | Permalink
If I hadn't missed this one, my caption would have been something about John Wayne Gacy, or Stephen King's It.
First:Donald Sensing - Whatâs the difference between Congress and the Cub Scouts? The Scouts have adult leadership.
Second:Kenny - âYou go to war with the scouts you have ⦠say ⦠some journalist didnât put you up to asking that question did they young feller?â
Third:Laurence Simon - Relax, kids. I’ve only got animal porn on my computer.
Honorable Mention:
Maggie - Nothing makes my day more than seeing MEN IN UNIFORM!
RKrak - Where are the hookers you promised?
LJD - Rumsfelt issues biological weapons alert after cub scout farts at press conference.
The Monday contest has already started.
More Below the fold
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“what Troop are you with?”
“Don’t you have to be a priest to do that?”
“You’re only here ’cause we couldn’t get Michael Jackson.”
“My dad can beat up your dad.”
“I love the smell of Mosquito Repellent in the morning, it smells like victory.”
“Sock-o Mock-o?”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Out of curiosity did you omit the results of last Monday's Caption Contest [she of many hands]?
Posted by Loon | April 5, 2005 | 12:19 am | Permalink
Go to the link below an press "Continued..."
The Bushrat edition was the April Fool's fake results, the results were under the fold.
Posted by Rodney Dill | April 5, 2005 | 04:56 am | Permalink
Thanks - I am a dimwit. I did not connect your clean sweep of the G W Bush snap as relating to April Fool's day - just thought it was your talent shining through [how's that for ingratiation towards the judge.....?].
Posted by Loon | April 5, 2005 | 11:58 am | Permalink
Nice suck up, it's not worth anything, but nice suck up
;)
Posted by Rodney Dill | April 5, 2005 | 06:33 pm | Permalink
First: Maggie - Discussion was fast and furious at the ASL convention held in Atlantic City earlier this week. and Desperate Democrats have come up with a new solution to “show of hands” votes in the Congress.
(Fortunately there are enough fingers to keep track of Maggie’s entries)
Second:bithead - The photographer’s cover picture for the classic book “A Farewell to Arms” didn’t quite meet the publisher’s expectations.
Third:(tie)McGehee - What is the sound of 40 hands clapping? Third:(tie)MHKing - Meet Lady Speed Stick’s number one customer. . .
Honorable Mention:
Maniakes - The New York Yankees have announced their starting pitcher for the opening game of the season. In a surprise move, theyâre going with the 28 year old 40-hander. . .
Myopist - “And this is Agent Kanya, 007. As you might have guessed, hand-to-hand combat is one of her specialities. . .”
Joyse - May I have a show of hands please? Do we or don’t we have nuclear arms?
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Whaddya mean it makes my palms grow hair?”
AP BREAKING - Former President Bill Clinton is coming out with a new line of furniture. The chair pictured here is called “The Intern.”
Palm Sunday
The eye’s have it
The Detroit Lions try out a receiver they feel can’t possibly drop the football.
Kim Jong-Il makes provisions against the disarming of North Korea
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First: T. Lung - “Hey, Konishiki, 47 cheeseburgers to go. . .and hold the rice. . .”
Second:Stormy Dragon - “Wow, Odd Job, you were rightâYou can hit John Kerry from all the way over here.”
Third:Mark - No, no, no lady! For the last time, I am NOT Reuben Stoddard.
Honorable Mention:
Michael - Seriousry, she kicked my ass, and she rooks great in a diaper.
Brandon Jaynes - Damn girl, I could eat you up- -no, seriously, Iâm really freakin’ hungry!
McGehee - “I told her my manhood was in proportion to my waist size, and she believed me!â
The Thursday contest has already started.
More Below the fold
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“…And after I got up, guess what I had stuck in my butt crack? Can I keep her?”
“I’m from com-on-I-wanna-lay-ya”
“He’s on the heavy side, but he smells better than Rumsfeld”
“Condi says she’s gonna hook me up with Kirstie Alley. WOO WOO WOO”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
"My Precious...."
Posted by Kimber | March 24, 2005 | 06:22 pm | Permalink
You are too kind. Thank you.
T.L.
Posted by T.Lung | March 24, 2005 | 06:27 pm | Permalink
Hey Man, What did you say was in that chit?
Posted by Marie | March 24, 2005 | 09:56 pm | Permalink
First: Jufray - CIRQUE DU SOLEIL presents ⦠La Nu Clear
Second:Mark - Female members of Harvardâs faculty prepare for action against Larry Summers following the latest no confidence vote.
Third:AlphaPatriot - Pictured on the right, Ali “Alice” Mahammud is thankful for the â”Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Says Alice, “I’m just grateful for the chance to put on a burka and carry a gun just like any other Iranian gal.”
Roger - If one of these women asks if her outfit makes her look fat, say nothing and take cover.
Mikey - Star Wars Episode VII: Attack of the Jawas
The Monday contest has already started.
More Below the fold
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
What they lack in size they make up for in PMS
Mohammad had hoped his virgins would’ve been a little less dominant
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
They look a bit more comfortable than this hugging couple.
Posted by oktal | March 22, 2005 | 09:54 am | Permalink
Second: dougrc - Trunk monkey!!? Hell, Iâve got a real security system!
Third: jufray - RUMSFELD purchased the newest âup armoredâ H2 with optional siren.
Honorable Mention:
Steven Taylor - The Borg were not as fearsome in their earlier incarnation
Maggie - The American Kennel Club has officially announced the approval of a new canine breed: The Howard Dean.
The Man - Sandy Hood quickly found out that 1) it is not wise to stick your head out of the sunroof and 2) the button that closes the sunroof on the 2003 Kia Sportage is on the center console.
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
that's the teensy township i grew up. Go Bainbridge!
Posted by jpe | March 17, 2005 | 07:23 pm | Permalink
First:Brandon Jaynes - “Get Your Hillary 2008 Merchandise Here.”
second:Brian J. - Prince Charles was a little confused; he didn’t know which of his families holdings the peasants called the Golden Palace.
Third: X - Sadly, the Australian Football League couldn’t afford Janet Jackson for their Superbowl halftime show.
Honorable Mention:
Maniakes - Yes Virginia, there is a Fashion Police
bithead - “Welcome to viewers from all over the world, to new Zealand, I’m Jim McKay. Today, we will be witness to the annual running of the breasts”
Hodink -
FREE MASSAGE
in exchange for
DOING MY HAIR.
The Monday contest has already started.
More Below the fold
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Get Your Courage right here, Dan.”
“…you just may be a redneck.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Third: Chrees - “I said that we now know what we didnât know when we didnât know what we know now. But that we still donât know what we donât know now. You know?â
Honorable Mention:
LJD - “I will ask you one last time Princess, WHERE is the Rebel base” (heavy breathing)
Steven Taylor - “I’ll get you my little pretty, and your little dog, too!”
Brandon Jaynes - “You will stop asking stupid questions; you will stop asking stupid questions; you will stop asking stupid questions.”
The Thursday contest has already started.
More Below the fold
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
(with Apologies to Billy Joel)
“What beats four roses on a piano?”
“How ’bout tulips on an organ.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First: Steven L. - Michael Jackson began to seriously regret insisting on a “jury of his peers”. . . .
Second:Brandon Jaynes - Moscowâs Red Orchestra, seen here singing Yellow Submarine, has long been green with envy over the success of the Blue Man Group.
Third:Bithead - It was here that Mulder found the motherload.
Honorable Mention:
T. Lung - The new-look Green Bay Packers synchronised semaphore cheerleaders sure did miss their head cheese!
Bithead - After nearly a week, the struggle to find a new CBS news anchor was down to a handful of people
McGehee - The new hit Broadway musical âGreen Eggs and Hamâ opened last night to rave reviews. Oddly enough, however, popcorn sales were slow and area restaurants reported business was down 90% over other opening nights.
McTrip - This is why voters never got to see the Swift Boat Veterans FOR Kerry…
Ingress - The Green Bay Packers circa 1920
Lance - French farting contest. . .
The Thursday contest has already started.
More Below the fold
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Jackson’s attorney hoped that the selected jury would find nothing eccentric about the enigmatic pop star
This coming season the Green Bay Packers are preparing to take drastic measures to find 11 men that can play defense
Dennis Kuchinich gave up on blue and red and moved to the ‘green state’
The Rodney Dill Cloning Experiment was never considered a big success, but it did dispel the myth that “The copy is never as good as the original.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First: Hodink - “No, no, no boys! Decide who is going to lead and that person places his left arm behind the partner’s waist. Begin again.”
Second:Maniakes - Don’t worry, Vlad. Weâre soulmates. I won’t let a silly little thing like selling nukes to Iran get in the way of that.
Third:Stormy Dragon - For the exciting conclusion of his ventriloquism routine, Bush wowed the audience by drinking a glass of water while Putin sang The Party is Over.
Honorable Mention:
Jufray - Texas Chainsaw Barbecue
Maggie - Speaking under his breath, Bush informed Putin either he gets his act in gear or face a visit to Moscow by the Riceinator.
Sammler - “I’d like you to meet my brother, Raymond.”
The Thursday contest has already started. The Bottom of the Barrel is below the fold.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“That Fling with Kim Jong-Il really didn’t mean nothing.”
“I like House elves, Dobie, I think everybody should own one.”
Vlad the Impaler and Bush the Inhaler
“Yea I do sorta understand why Condi called you a skinny white boy/”
“Jees, I alway’s though De-Taunt was when we called y’all commie bastards”
Putin’ on the Ritz
“utshay uphay ickday eadhay - so what’s that mean? It sounds pretty catchy but I don’t understand a lick of russ-ki”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Third:The WASP - Reporter: How wide is Hillary’s butt going to get?
Honorable Mention:
Carlos - Gee, gosh, I dunno. . .go ask my brother. Heâs the brains of this outfit.
McGehee - The question was, “Governor, have you ever been to that Kinkoâs in Abilene?”
Lisa Y - “So I forgot to wear pants. It happens, okay???!!”
RodneysJufrays Bottom of The Barrel (special guest captioner)
“Rodney Dill?”
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
You've got an open italics tag in this post.
Posted by jen | February 28, 2005 | 05:11 pm | Permalink
Thank's Jen, Wordpress usually catches those, but I guess I found a place where it doesn't
Posted by Rodney Dill | February 28, 2005 | 06:19 pm | Permalink
You're welcome. =)
Posted by jen | February 28, 2005 | 08:39 pm | Permalink
First:Eddie Thomas - Razib was thinking: “If this cure works for Arun, maybe we can get rich by selling it to Mick Jagger.”
Second:Dodd - “Oh no, thatâs next door. Itâs being-pounded-in-the-chest lessons in here.”
Third: Jufray - Clear!
Honorable Mention:
Loon - Archive photo : A youthful Lt.jg John Forbes Kerry works on getting his fourth purple heart in as many months. . .
Tig - “British Navy seeks alternatives to whipping with a cat-o-nine-tails in light of new attitude toward gays.”
Hodink - Tom tries to learn about other cultures. It was a choice between this one swift thwack or eating a bowl of goat testicles.
Rodneys Bottom of The Barrel
Elmo only took second place in chest thumping, and therefore was not made the DNC Chairman.
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First:Crerar - Milton Bradley unveiled its revamped version of the Game of Life where players are able to select a college, choose a career or get same-sex married.
Second:Laurence Simon - “I think Squidward needs to lay off the hormone supplements.”
Third: McCain - Gertrude’s menage a trois experience did not live up to her wild fantasies.
Honorable Mention:
caltechgirl - Why didnât I get a costume? Donât you know Iâm Sandy Cheeks?
Myopost - Spongebob: How comes it then that thou art out of hell?
Patrick: Why this is hell, nor am I out of it.
Jay Tea - “Don’t ask, don’t tell” meets “Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.00.”
Rodneys Bottom of The Barrel
SB: “That’s Life”
P: “What’s Life?”
SB” “A board game”
P: “Where do I get it?”
SB: “At the toy store.”
P: “How Much does it cost?”
SB: “10 Dollars”
P: “But I only have 5 Dollars.”
SB: “That’s Life.”
P: “What’s Life?”
SB: “A board . . .”
After listening to Sponge Bob and Patrick every day for three years at the toy factory, Audrey, went home and ate her young.
“I always thought the Sponge was supposed to be placed between the prick and the cervix.”
The ThursdayMonday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
The personage we love to hate, nearly as much as John Kerry
The Winners
First: McTrip - “NUKLAHOMA” (McTrip prefaced it with - One for the archives : a rare snap taken during rehearsals of the writer-producer-director-leading male singer, Kim Jong âJohnnyâ Il, and the cast of the guaranteed runaway [no, runaway even faster] Pyongyang hit musical :- )
Second:Laurence Simon - Despite the protests of his wife and the Central Committee, Kim Jong-Il did what the voices in his head told him, and he plowed under the crops to build a concentration camp for political dissidents. Thatâs when the ghost of his father came out of the wheat so they could play catch with Harry Trumanâs bleached skull.
Third:Confederate Yankee - And after 40 years of wandering, it slowly dawned upon the crowd that he really didnât have a clue where the Promised Land was.
The Thursday contest has already started.
Honorable Mention and the rest are under the Fold
Honorable Mention:
Scott P - Pensive Korean television executives monitor the reactions of a bemused Kim Jong-Il at the taping of the pilot episode of “Korean Fear Factor: Minefield.”
LJD - “Idiots! I said weapons, not wheat!” “Now where can we hide all of this before the people see it”
ralph hupp - a leader outstanding in his field.
Beloved Leader - Chamgan-man. . .chamgan-man. . .mugo! [Translation: âWait for it. . .wait for it. . .Eat!â]
Field of Dreams entries:
Laurence Simon surely had the strangest Field of Dreams entry (which took second), but I enjoyed all the variations
Bithead - Wins the best Novelette on a tyrannical dictator (Which will not be repeated here, or probably anywhere)
Rodneys Bottom of The Barrel
We study Nuclear Science,
We love critical masses,
‘Gotta crazy world leader,
Who wears dark glasses.
Bomb production’s going great,
And the missle’s flying better.
We’re refining it right,
High Plutonium Grade,
‘Countryside is so bright,
We Gotta wear shades.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Oh, come now... I didn't credit the thing because I thought you'd recognize it... It was a clip from onty Python that I thought fit very well indeed...
The winners and honorable mention barely start to do justice to the many funny captions this time around. Thanks to all who participated, and thanks to Tig for supplying the picture.
The Winners
First:caltechgirl - Kim Jong-Il reveals his true self for the first time
Second:Stormy Dragon - “Kill ‘er?” asked the confused David Berkowitz. “But why?”
Third:McGehee - In its ill-fated attempt to head off the practice of arming airline pilots, the FAA experimented with compact attack dogs small enough to fit in overhead compartments, documents obtained by DRUDGE REPORT reveal.
DEVELOPING. . .
The Monday contest has already started.
Honorable Mention and the rest are under the Fold
Honorable Mention:
Jufray - Add water⦠makes itâs own sauce.
Anna S. - Killer, Your dinner is served
Tig - My newest disguise is working according to plan.
General Mattis Rips (Did I get them all?)
McGehee - The Marines wouldn’t let Gen. Mattis have a Rottweiler.
SteveL - Eason Jordon provides this revealing photo of a U.S. Marine Corps mascot, which apparently earned its name at the expense of a CNN reporter.
Cassandra - “I tell ya, itâs damned fun killinâ some people. I like a good brawl⦠itâs a helluva hoot” said the vicious mastiff, blood and saliva dripping from its jowels as it strained to escape from the shock collar that barely contained its maniacal rage.
Roger - Killer was admonished for his statements that “sometimes, it’s fun to bite people.”
Rodneys Bottom of The Barrel
How all of Microsoft’s competition looks to Bill Gates
Steve Irwin: “Crikey, Killer isn’t me dog, Killer is me pet Croc.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Wow, I'm suprised that won. I wasn't sure if enough people would know who David Berkowitz was to get it. ;>
Technically I'm the only one that had to get it. Blogger's seem to have a fairly good age spread, and until you get some clue or statement as to someone's age its pretty easy to misguess someones age. I had guessed James to be older some time ago and I've guessed others wrong in the other direction.
Posted by Rodney Dill | February 14, 2005 | 08:25 pm | Permalink
Myopist - Sam, maybe itâs just because we went to Minas Tirith and Rivendell and Moria and everything, but I gotta tell you: Hobbit ceremonial wedding costumes suck ass.
myopist
McTrip - Among the many tests that prospective Democrat contenders for the partyâs nomination in 2008 must now undergo is synchronised âdeaningâ : igniting popular interest with a rebel yell.
Rodneys Bottom of The Barrel
After a short period of reflection on the question, “Would you rather have had a son, more than your gay daughter?” Dick Cheney responded, “NO.”
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First: Purple Raider - Senator Kerry is again faced with the frozen tundra of Lambert Field.
Second: McTrip - Astride his cycle of violence, the ghost of Yasser Arafat confronted âhisâ 72 virgins and reflected upon how he had never questioned the Koranic small print on the matter of temperature.
Third:Stormy Dragon - After the GI Joe incident failed to fool people, the Iraqi insurgents tried to convinced people they had taken an entire platoon hostage.
Honorable Mention:
Jufray - French spectators unimpressed as Lance Armstrong wins 25th straight tour.
Beth - Phil rallies the activists at the Global Warming protest.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Go Purple!
Posted by spd rdr | February 7, 2005 | 03:39 pm | Permalink
You all need to knock this off. I'll be updating the Rogues' Gallery for weeks.
The two attractive hostesses were overcome by a feeling of Deja-Mooâ¦. the feeling theyâd dealt with this cow previously.
The two attractive hostesses were overcome by a feeling of Deja-Mooâ¦. the feeling theyâd dealt with this cow previously.
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
Finally someone hornier than Paris Hilton
Who need’s Cialis, he’s perdura’bull’
‘How do we know he’s not mad. He voted for Bush.”
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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“Hey, aren’t you that Secret Service Agent that pushed…”
“I hate &^$#@% cowboys.”
Cheap shot from the Cheap seats
The Monday contest has already started
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Damn, and I thought surely I would win this one. ;)
Posted by Tig | January 31, 2005 | 05:14 pm | Permalink
Thanks! I'll take honorable mention, heck I'll take any mention...
Posted by Kevin | February 1, 2005 | 10:14 am | Permalink
Excellent captions, I was surprised it took so long for someone to come up with the take off on the Target Dog. I am pandering a bit with the list of honorable mentions, but this contest just seemed to bring out a funny vein in many of the commentors.
The Winners
Ne Plus Ultra:RightWingDuck - Unfortunately, the tryouts for the new Target Dog Mascot turned out quite differently than expected.
Second:Harry - Tank Commander Ralph Watkins winces as he realizes he has unwittingly let loose the dog of war.
Third: LJD - “I think heâs gettinâ ready to leave a road-side bomb!”
Myopist - Swear to God, if it cocks a leg Iâm shooting it. I spent four hours washing this tank.
Dougrc - Reminiscent of the 1989 Tianenmen Square incident, Fluffy stood her ground for half an hour before slowly backing out of the way of the advancing tanks.
Rachel Edith - President Bush made that surprise visit to the troops last week. Scheduling glitches resulted in presidential dog, Barney, being left behind in a fox hole. Barney emerged today none the worse for wear. After de-briefing in Germany, the dog will be reunited with the Commander-in-Chief.
Roark - Hold Fire! …Itâs not a FRENCH poodle.
The Thursday contest has already started.
Rodney’s Bottom of the Barrel
“That pup craps in my lawn again, and he’s gonna taste a round from the new tank mounted Bowitzer 500.
Targeting terrorist Al Bark-awi
Not ones to back down from a fight they are sure to win, the French Army prepares to launch an offensive in the Global War On Terriers
“Bring out the Holy Hand Grenade.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
Some very good entries for what I thought to be a harder picture. The top three were very close, but I have to concur with opinions of several of the commentors.
Baron - The Great Ali Al Swalhiri shows off his first magic trick. Shortly after, he was blown up by Islamic extremists insisting that magic is not consistent with the Koran, therefore he and the 13 innocent people around him deserved to die.
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
(with music) “All we are saying, is give peace a . . . Aw Crap.”
As predicted the Dove of Peace flew directly for the Promise of Democracy, which unfortunately was surrounded by a bullet proof glass window.
The Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
Second:Laurence Simon - Apparently, there’s a backorder of “I’m With Stupid” T-Shirts that have the arrow pointing upwards.
Third: Mflorence - So, what did you do with the Super Glue remover?
Honorable Mention:
Sortapundit - You take the blue bracelet, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red bracelet, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goesâ¦. Remember, all Iâm offering is the truth, nothing moreâ¦.
Hodink - A Must Have â For the families who cancel out each otherâs vote.
Ingress - Why is it you can sue Wendy’s if you get fat, Marlboro if you get cancer, but you can’t sue Coors for all the ugly people you slept with? (Good point)
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
“You should see how many bands Mary Matalin and James Carville each have.”
Hunting tags for Moonbat season.
Man: “This means I voted for Bush four times, Did you vote for Kerry four times?”
Woman: “Don’t be silly dad, This means I had sex with Bill Clinton four times.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
Second: Hodink - Anna Kournikova has tired of her sexy image. Now she wants to win at tennis by beating male opponents which she says she will do by eating their balls
Third: Mythilt - Yesterday, Amanda Monti was let go from her job as a linegirl after she accidently grabbed the wrong ball.
Honorable Mention
Crerar - No â I do not want to see it stick its tongue out again
Bithead - “Think of it this way, John⦠All the chicks in the stands are now looking at my crotch”
“Yeah but so are the GUYS, Bill. . .”
Roger - Captain Kirk saw the image on the screen, an image from some sports figuring during Earth’s 21st century. Perplexed, he turned to Spock.
“Analysis, Spock!”
“Captain, what we see here is a tennis player wearing shorts bearing an image of what is called a basketball, holding a tennis ball in front. . .of. . .balls.”
“Spock! Balls?!”
“Yes, Captain. If I was to mention the proper medical term, we might get sued by the FCC.”
“Bones!”
“You heard the man! Balls!”
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
The Great Magnifico’s ball levitation astounded the crowd until little Johnny said, “Hey, its not floating it’s stuck on the end of his . . .”
And of course, The Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First: Chrees - Does this outfit make my rear look fat?
Second:Jay Tea - Following long-standing procedure, Corporal Eddington (right) refused to be relieved from his post when he realized that Sergeant Chesterfield (left) had reported for duty out of uniform again.
Third:Bithead - “I think this ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ thing is working well, donât you?”
Honorable Mention:
Scott P - Now, Mr. Guard, Iâll show you something I like to call the 69th position. I bet that will get a rise out of you. . .
Anna S. - These slippers are killing me; next time you be the sugar plum fairy and Iâll be the nutcracker.
Masked Menace - After realizing the ballerina was turned ever so slightly too far the wrong way, Major Stifas Abored, thought to himself, “Sometimes, I really hate my job.”
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
I call This position ‘The Moss’
And of course, The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Woohoo! 2nd!
Ever since I became a regular poster over at Wizbang, I've felt self-conscious about entering the contests there. (Well, that and the sheer quality and quantity of the entries that show up before I can even SEE the picture have intimidated the hell out of me.) But it's nice to know I still got it. Thanks, Rodney!
I was wondering why I hadn't seen more captions from you lately. I thought you were just to busy being the blogosphere version of Garrison Keillor. Your narratives of Cow Hampshire seem to have become popular.
Posted by Rodney Dill | January 14, 2005 | 06:07 am | Permalink
'sigh', I just realized I never wrote my entry for this one....
'I thought it was the man's pants that were supposed to go stiff on seeing the ladies.'
Ah, well.
yes, my mind resides in a gutter.
Posted by Mythilt | January 15, 2005 | 11:46 pm | Permalink
Second:AlphaPatriot - Democrats from all over the country respond to a call for a new party mascot, bringing beloved pets to Washington as the party tries to remake their image.
Third:RightWingDuck - “President Bush and Staff present their gift to the survivors of the tsunami. This one â a present for the Ambassador of India. Finally, no more gaffes.”
Honorable Mention:
Hodink - Paying a visit to the home of Condi Rice, Dubya Bush brings along a few of his favorite things.
Crerar - Gus and Claribelle Fornicher catch a train to start their honeymoon on the eve of Canada enacting increasingly liberal marriage laws.
Bithead - And in offices throughout southern Manhattan for the remainder of the day, people were asking the question: “Do you smell something”?
Chrees - You’d be a “mad cow” too if you had to take public transportation all the time.
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
“Not to be outdone in shenanigans some distraught Packer fans set off to pay Randy Moss a visit.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
Second : Dougrc - “Because mom says we canât flip off reporters anymore, thatâs why!”
Third:Laurence Simon - “What has two thumbs and likes giv- wait. How many thumbs do I have up?”
Honorable Mention:
Tom - Dad told me that when I graduated from college that I would lose my flight priveleges on Air Force 1. I thought he was kidding.
Aggie wife - “Bosh Good, Bosh number 1″
Zod - Jenna Bush is believed to be dead, and she must let the world think that she is dead, until she can find a way to control the raging party animal that dwells within her â¦.
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
“I’m off to help some woman in trouble in Asia, I think her name is Sue Nommy”
Jenna display’s her knowledge of the international sign for Budweiser
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Jenna gives her approval to the new bar construction crews
Posted by Chevron Jenkins | January 10, 2005 | 11:14 am | Permalink
Kenny - “Our enemies are wrong my brothers! Clearly you can see that I most certainly DO NOT have hair on my palms!”
David Harris - The press conference turned into chaos when the fifth little piggy suddenly decided to make a break for it.
Zed - Years after the release of Sgt. Peppers the Muslim world is just now learning how to play records backwards.
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
“No. . . No. . . Mr. Sluggo. . .”
The Hand of Knowledge meets the Seat of Ignorance.
“You want me step this way? But why?”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
I'm happy with Honorable Mention,
I'm very fond of, "You want me step this way? But why?"
Posted by Zed | January 3, 2005 | 08:03 pm | Permalink
Iâm very fond of, âYou want me step this way? But why?â
But McGehee would revolt if one of my own captions won.
Posted by Rodney Dill | January 3, 2005 | 08:09 pm | Permalink
As if this picture wasn’t funny enough. Maybe I just felt overly generous, but this time I chose to extend the Honorable Mention section as there were just too many excellent captions. If you haven’t had a chance you should read through all the captions for this contest as a majority of them are pretty good. Bithead and Crerar were well on the way to a first place tie until “The Doctor” placed his/her entry.
The Winners
First: The Doctor - Some reporter from Chicago gave âem to me to wear tonight at the Rumsfeld press conference.
Second (tied):Bithead - So, YOUâRE the new communications officer, eh? Second (tied):Crerar - Alright soldier â you can guide my Humvee tonight.
Third:Brandon - Why? Because no one could shoot Rudolph!
Honorable Mention:
Garry and the Samoyeds - âI canât wear these? Whatever happened to âbe all you can be?ââ
Laurence Simon - The hard part was cutting the holes in my helmet to stick them through it.
Zong Ren - Donât worry â it happens to a lot of guys the first time they get perfumed letters.
David Harris - âI have to wear the nose, too?â
McGehee - Corporal, if you say, âCan you hear me now?â one more time, Iâm gonna frag you!
Dave Schuler - Between the long time away from home and the âno fraternizationâ I am really getting horny.
Anna S. - What antlers? (editor: This one made me think of Marty Feldman’s “Hump, What Hump?” in Young Frankenstein)
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
“As long as Rumsfeld is in charge this does not violate Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, so you are required to continue to wear the new GAYDAR 2000 young fella.”
“So where’s your partner, the one they call Rocky”
“Jees, I wish it had never gotten out that my Grandmother did grow up in Lapland, and that she was run over by a reindeer.”
“I know its rutting seasaon, but leave Cpl. Gonzales alone.”
KLINGER!!
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First: Hermoine - “Anybody know how a doggone muff works?”
Second:Sgt. Fluffy - They’re ready for inspection Major Barney.
Third:McGehee - A second later, Bush acted instinctivelyâwith the result that he got a Barney-shaped scar on his forehead.
Honorable Mention:
Maniakes - “Look what I got for the twins!”
“Good trade, sir!”
Lij - President Bush comments on the slippery slope ahead, “donât worry Barney, itâs still donât ask, donât tell!”
Leopold Stotch - Airmen OâMalley and Perez now understand what John Kerry meant when he said that “if given a second term, George W. Bush will screw the pooch.”
Still Venting the Ghosts of Elections Past
Laurence Simon - Be glad I won, boys. Otherwise, youâd be picking Teresaâs crap up off of the tarmac.
Leopold Stotch - I know Barneyâs a boy and all but â¦
Under his breath Airman OâMalley whispers to Airman Perez, “Iâd rather salute this bitch than that thing John Kerry married.”
Bithead - Look, Dubya, I donât CARE who cleaned the plane when⦠Iâm tellinâ ya.. I can still smell that idiot, Buddy in there, and I ainât goinâ IN there, OK?
The Bonus Caption contest is still underway until tomorrow PM, and the Thursday contest is already off to a fast start.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
I'm not sure if there's anything honorable about that entry ...
Second: Maggie - Why can’t you ask for directionsâ¦.we wonât be able to see the STAR until darkâ¦now the other two Wise men are going to beat us there!
Third:Ferdinand T. Cat - Due to a shipping error, Santa found himself with a camel instead of a reindeer, and the wrong size sleigh.
Zod - A strike by the Reindeer Union forced Santa to improvise.
Cassandra - [voice from rear of camel]
“It never fails⦠every year that twit Rodney dresses up in the red suit and hands out all the toys and we get stuck with this sweaty frigginâ camel suitâ¦whaddaya say we jump him Christmas Eve and swipe his milk and cookies?”
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
(explanation of previously posted caption)
Since Santa only comes once a year, by the time Christmas rolls around even the reindeer have concerns about becoming a Dromedary.
(Dromedary = Camel = “Humped” Animal)
Camel: “I beg your pardon but I really think Teddy Kennedy meant to ask for Chocolate Covered Caramels for Christmas”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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I'm sure you're just humouring me, Rodney. My comments aren't even funny. Still, I'll take the prix.
The Festivus Edition of the OTB Caption Contest is over.
They were nowhere near as creepy as I’d hoped, but the winners are:
First Place: Boyd — When the Hamilton kids learned that Santa Claus was also a Roman Catholic priest, they displayed mixed reactions.
Second Place: The Ubiquitous Rodney Dill — Little Timmy jumps and drops his sister, as Santa âwarms his hands.â
Third Place: Duffer — Jane likes sitting on Santaâs left knee; Dick ainât so sure about sitting on Santaâs right knee; Young Emily suddenly remembers that Santa has only two knees.
I don’t get it but it sounds disturbing:
Christopher Cross — Only little Tina Baker enjoyed the family tradition of âTriple Dutch Oven.â
For added post-Holiday cheer, check out this tribute to my best friend on her birthday.
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Just how creepy did you want?
Having scored a triple 20 with his first throw in this round of Elf Cricket. Timmy hoisted his next elf for a throw at the bullseye, and a win.
Posted by Rodney Dill | December 26, 2004 | 10:42 pm | Permalink
First:McGehee - Rumsfeld: “These are not the condolence letters youâre looking for.” Reporter: “These are not the condolence letters weâre looking for.” Rumsfeld: “Move along.” Reporter: “Letâs move along.”
Second:Sortapundit - You wanna know why I didnât sign those letters? I got The Claw in â82 during a Pacman tourney. Havenât been able to hold a pen since.
Third(tied):Kate - “As you know, you go decorate the Christmas tree with the ornaments you have ⦠not the ornaments you might want or wish to have at a later time.” Third(tied):Jason - Well, thatâs no ordinary rabbit. Thatâs the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! Heâs got huge, sharp â eh â he can leap about â look at the bones!
Honorable Mention:
bryan - Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld shows proper knuckleball form during a press conference announcing his tryout for the (possible) Washington Nationals. “Iâve been throwing knuckleballs past the national media for three years now,” Rumsfeld said. “I think I can put a few past Sammy Sosa and that juiced-up Barry â whatâs his name? â Bonds.”
KJ - Tired of waiting for nude pyramids and sleep deprivation to work, Rumsfeld decides to personally administer his Vulcan mild meld technique to get the Al Kae Duh prisoners talking.
Cassandra - “Let me state for the record, that smiley thing-a-majigger is not official US Army-issue”
“Itâs some crazy thing Joyner rigged up. I canât be held responsible” (editor: seemed like they belonged together)
Leopold Stotch already has a Festivus Edition contest started. The abnormal Monday/Thursday schedule of caption contests will be a little erratic over the holiday week between Christmas and New years.
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel (below)
“…but I’m not a monster, I have the heart of the child, I keep it in my desk drawer.”
AP BREAKING - At a press conference Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld blames Dr. James Joyner for the smiley face icons that keeps showing up on the condolence e-mails.
DRUDGE REPORTING - Even though Donald Rumsfeld has previously blamed Dr.James Joyner for the condolence letter email smiley face fiasco he later confirmed his belief that Cassandra was behind the mishap.
Rumsfeld is quoted as saying, “It gives me no pleasure to admit that the recherche blog princess is behind this debacle.”
“Then close your eyes and tap your heels together three times …”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
Well, I didn't win or even get an honorable mention but I can't help but feel I nevertheless had an impact on this contest. :)
James had been running a contest around once a week, when I started I decided to go twice a week (mon-thu and thu-mon) and I've kept pretty much to that. I've thrown in a bonus caption contest or two and the worst blog christmas present contest. You've added a few weekend contests and the festivus contest. When James put me up to asked me to do this he pretty much said "do what you want, run one every day if you want to." We're way under that pace.
I'm glad to see you've thrown out another contest. I thought you'd tried a few and decided to stop. You've picked some really good pictures for contests.
I doubt I'll ever run one a day, putting together the winners post is too time consuming and I'd have to spend some time looking for pictures to keep one a day running.
Posted by Rodney Dill | December 23, 2004 | 06:29 pm | Permalink
Whoo-hoo! And it only took me a week to find out about it.
Sorta's (ahem) Christmas card still hasn't arrived, but at this time of year the mail is notoriously, er, slower than usual. I should get it by Groundhog Day. Hope it wasn't on a timer.
First: spd rdr - The doctor had seen many strange things in his years of practice, but the proctologist had to admit that Bertâs misshap beat them all.
Second:Myopist - Damn, but youâre a mean drunk, Superman.
Third: David Harris - Upset at no longer being the grandest architectural achievement in France, the Eiffel Tower throws itself to its death off the newly opened Millau Bridge.
Honorable Mention:
RightWingDuck - French Authorities Lose a Training Eiffel Tower used to Train Dogs in Terrorist Detection.
frog - Looks like Michael Moore finally made it to the top.
Hodink - Chirac shows that he really would do just about anything for this mistress.
Rodneys Bottom of the Barrel
Proctologist: “Yes Mr. Moore, I do believe that you have a foreign object lodged in your rectum.”
AP BREAKING - While it is known that severe weather forced Santa’s sleigh off course, it is not believed that problems of any significant consequence resulted.
There comes a place in every project to shoot the Engineers and start production. France is not that place.
“Ouch”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
The Eiffel Tower in Sydney. Positioned using directions for Norther Hemisphere.
Posted by Davod | December 20, 2004 | 06:42 pm | Permalink
What -- my "lawn darts" one didn't even make the bottom of the barrel?
Sorry Bithead, just as with McGehee's lawn darts your script was funny. If I give honorable mention to all the funny ones, I'd have over half the total list repeated.
Posted by Rodney Dill | December 21, 2004 | 07:44 am | Permalink
Don't be sorry... I was cracking a (poor) joke, here. Don't take it as any more serious than that.
I've thought about ways to mention more of the captions, but I'm set against just announcing,
"Everyone wins, let's move on," The other thing that I like and some others like is just general banter during the contest. Having someone comment that they like one of my captions or complain about one because now they feel that have to beat it was always as good for me as being mentioned with the winners. To each his own, I guess
Posted by Rodney Dill | December 21, 2004 | 06:09 pm | Permalink
Second: (tied) Masked Menace - Bjork makes her entrance to the Grammyâs.
Second: (tied) Masked Menace - One of these days Iâm gonna get this @^%&%$@# Christmas lights thing figured out.
Third: McTrip - While delighted by the outcome of her slimming program, Monica was neither thrilled by the gig her agent booked her at The Clinton Library nor at the uniform sponsored by SuctionHosesârâUs.
Honorable Mention:
Ken - Abu Garb
Kate - Margaret Choâs long-lost vibrator love child.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
Ne Plus Ultra:Cassandra - After Santa got into the holiday eggnog for the 5th time, Rudolph decided he could jolly well guide his own *&%! sleigh toniteâ¦
Second: Chadwick - More proof of why you donât hire Ron Artest to play Santa Claus!
Third:Kim Chong-il - With the help of seven beefy elves and the calm reassurance they they donât celebrate Christmas in Fallujah, they finally dragged Blitzen back from Canada.
Honorable Mention:
Fred Boness - â Youâre gonna be uh, guest of honor at the Elves dinner party.
McGehee - Practicing for the North Pole Championship Rodeo, Santa demonstrates why, in spite of entering the reindeer-dogging event 1300 years in a row, he has yet to win the belt buckle.
RightWingDuck - My Reindeer Got run over by a Santa, on our way to our house Christmas Eve
Rodneys bottom of the barrel
“No, Santa, no, When we asked how do you mount a reindeer, we meant taxidermy.
Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
