Third:lawhawk - Hey, did you catch Condi in those boots? GRWWWW!
Honorable Mention:
Brian J. - It’s an American joke George Bush told me: Pull my thumb.
Laurence Simon - âTry to guess where my other thumb is, Vladimir.â
Maniakes - “As a matter of fact, Vlad, I HAVE always wanted to have a threesome with two world leaders. Is Jacques up for it?”
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“What happens in Red Square, Stays in Red Square.”
The genre was deemed to have gone to far, when with X-MEN XIII– Feigned-Interest Man,Taken-aback Girl, and Stinkfinger made their debut on the Super Hero scene.
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First: Rachel Edith - “Liked the line, shape, form, value, space, color and texture. And rather liked the bulge.”
Second:John Burgess - “Never a cop around when you need one? Keep a spare or two and be confident!” FOP ad in the AARP Journal.
Third:The Man - The introduction of the TV show COPS on the Sundance Channel was met with mixed reviews.
Honorable Mention:
McGehee - “I may not know much about art, but I know what I like. And I don’t like this.”
Jufray - dat RODNEY KING be one bad ass artiste.
Maniakes - Protect a little old lady? We can do that standing on our heads!
The Man - Yeah this shift sucks, but at least we donât work at Newsweek.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Phhht … Pamela Anderson, nothing, I’ve got bigger boobs than her. They’re hanging over there on the wall.”
What do you call two cops hanging on the wall, usually by a window? (you figure it out)
The Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First:The Man - One of these two is a relic of a failed system, the other is missing a nose.
Second: Hermoine - “I broke it off, but ⦠as you can see I have raised my right hand and I will give the Scout’s Honor or recite the Pledge of Allegiance (sans the ‘under God’ part) or slap myself in the face ⦠whatever ⦠just donât make me go back to Crawford, Texas again.”
Third:Brandon Jaynes - I broke it off, but since I’m not the leader of a democracy, I don’t have to answer to you!
Honorable Mention:
Brian J. - “Ooh, ooh, I know! Man! For he crawls on all fours as a child, walks upright as an adult, and then uses a cane in old age,” Putin answered, oddly enough, on Mother’s Day.
John - All Hail King PUT!!
Kenny - Vlad couldn’t qualify at home, so he searched out abroad before finally landing an appearance on Egyptian Idol.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“OK, I broke it off, but more importantly, I saved $187.00 with GEICO.”
“I didn’t break it off, but I saw that Rodney Dill did.”
The (much harder) Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
I hate to admit I posess this knowledge but---the "woohoo" tune quoted here is for Vonage Telcom coomercials, not Geico.
Posted by JW | May 13, 2005 | 12:30 pm | Permalink
The bottom of the barrel was meant to be read as three separate captions. The Vonage commercials always mentions 'people do stupid things,' (like breaking of the nose of the sphinx) so I threw out the "woo hoo's" to make people think of that.
At least somebody is reading down to the bottom of the post ;)
Posted by Rodney Dill | May 13, 2005 | 01:26 pm | Permalink
Vonage is currently using that noise... though a few months ago, at least two orgs were using it in spots seen here in Rochester... though I don't recall who the other was.
Alex Knapp - See what happens when you start opening McDonaldâs in Asia?
Dodd - Ratings for CBS’ twelfth annual “A Very Special Bill Clinton Birthday Party” were lower than in previous years.
The Man - Next on Fox: Who Wants to Marry Michael Moore
Hodink - It was the upcoming lap dance segment that terrified Dan.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Movie Remake Hell
The movie TRON remade as JUMBOTRON
Miss ComonIwannalaya, who eventually won the Miss Volcano pageant, had this bio. “I’m hot, steamy, and ready to blow at any minute.” (these ARE labeled “bottom of the barrel” for a reason)
Several years, and a number of pounds, later Lyndie went on to star in, Abu Ghraib, the musical.
The Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First:Laurence Simon - “I don’t care if he sold us a BILLION barrels of oil a day. The man grabbed my hand and kissed me, dammit.”
Second:Jay Tea - “Plant that tree faster, dammit! I don’t know how much longer I can hold it!”
Third:Sgt Fluffy - I’ll tell ya he’s small, but damn! he craps like a horse!
Honorable Mention:
McGehee - “We’re gonna need more pooper scoopers. And Barney, no more eating all of Helen Thomas’ bran muffins. Bad dog!”
Jay Tea - “…and here is where we found Helen Thomas after Barney tried to bury her. Itâs not his faultâshe really does look and smell dead to a dog.”
Steven L. - “. . . and so we put it here, next to John Kerry’s presidential hopes.”
Best Monty Python Ripoff
Maniakes
“I just spend four hours burying the dog.”
“Four hours to bury a dog?!”
“Well, he wouldn’t keep still. He kept wriggling about, howling.”
“He’s not dead then.”
“Yes, but he’s not at all a well dog, and since I’m going to be away for a week I thought I better bury him just to be on the safe side.”
“Oh, yes. Don’t want to come home from a summit meeting to a dead dog.”
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“What’s wrong with you Secret Service guys, you don’t know how to use a shovel? you keep burying Barney, but he keeps digging his way back out.”
“…and whenever I leave a big mess on his carpet, he rubs my nose in it.
“Hmmm, this reporter has been interviewing terrorists, I smell lamb shwarma on the mike.”
George: “Gentlemen, our energy crisis is over. It was Barney right there that discovered oil under the White House.”
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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Comments
I felt like mine was more of a bottom of the barrel, but I'll take first. BOOYAH!
Sorry Jay Tea, it doesn't hold true. The previous contest only had damn in the second place, and the previous 3-4 contests don't have it at all in the top three. Though I did have to check to make sure I hadn't established some subconscious pattern.
I always thought that Kevin was a sucker for some the Lewinski and Washingtonienne type references, though "pull my finger" was usually good for runner-up as you should know. ;)
Rodney "E. B". Dill
Posted by Rodney Dill | May 6, 2005 | 03:19 pm | Permalink
The Courage award resemblance to a liquor bottle, chance or design?
Michael - Not a caption, but I swear to GOD he’s looking at that bottle like my dog looks at the steak I’m eating.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Yushchenko: “Everyone needs to believe in something.”
Kennedy: “I believe I’ll have another drink.”
Diogenes see’s there’s nothing of interest here and decides to move along.
“Don’t shake, I got your courage right here Teddy.”
“Its supposed to represent concentrated courage, but don’t drink it, we just bottled Dan Rather.”
Teddy: “Boy You look like crap.”
Viktor: “Dioxin will do that, what’s your excuse”
The Monday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First:John Burgess - “I don’t know how I got talked into pollinating the freaking lotus again!”
Second:Donald Sensing - What the? According to Mapquest I should be at the giant Buddha now! Man, I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuequerque!
Third: Hodink - “My stick is bigger than your stick.”
Honorable Mention:
Alex Knapp - Best visual metaphor for relationships ever.
Alan Kellogg - You’d better be real good, little man.
Kenny - “I can’t believe I drew Q-tip duty again.”
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Just call me ‘Tex,’ Ma’am, you can drop the ‘Ko’ part.”
Armen knew by the time he reached his target he would be the appropriate size, after all, he HAD taken Viagra, and he WAS a lawyer.
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
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First:Crerar - Thatâs a nice trick seargent Baalzadropov â but what did you do with the pylon?
Second:Laurence Simon - They haven’t yet built the combat robot that can do this
Third: Oski - While normally viewed as an asset in arid climates, Pvt. Splitovski a.k.a. the human divining rod, embarrassed his fellow troops when they marched on the rain soaked parade grounds.
Honorable Mention:
Timmer - The kids from Chernobyl strut their stuff.
Scott P - Soldiers watch a demonstration of the latest Field Medical Directive: How to alleviate “Soldierâs Itch.”
Cassandra - Despite intense mentoring, Private Pushkin continued to demonstrate considerable confusion as to the meaning of the term “balls-to-the-wall”.
LJD - Russians prove the viability of gays in the military: In an effort to save his comrades, Ivan drops on a grenade. . .
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Oh by the way, the commissary is stocked with toilet paper again.”
The Russian Military Chorus never looked forward to a Head-of-State visit from the U.S.A. as special preparations were needed to hit the high notes during the obligatory singing of the Star Spangled Banner.
The Monday contest has already started.
UPDATE: Wizbang has announced their winner for the same picture. (I picked the Thursday-Monday, Monday-Thursday cycle for a reason). Villainous Company still has a contest with the same picture open.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
I would’ve sworn when I started this contest that some reference to a Clint Eastwood western would’ve taken first, until I started reading the entries . . .
It was later determined that the Matzoh Western genre would’ve become nearly as popular as the old spaghetti westerns if the producers
hadn’t chosen to pass off Hebrew as Speaking Indian
“Ma Nishma?”
“Hakol B’seder”
The imposter had nearly won the 23Rd annual Jewish spelling bee, until that final, fateful word.
“OK, now the word to spell is Shibboleth”
“Dude, Where’s my promised land?”
The new Village People perform their rendition of Matzoh man
“I must follow the people, am I not their leader” - Benjamin Disraeli
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First: Silicon Valley Jim - These French fellas are takinâ a while to get the hang of rock-paper-scissors.
Second:wavemaker - Principals of The New World Order re-enact Michaelangeloâs “Creation of Adam.”
Third:John Henke - “This Intelligence stuff is easy”, Bush thought, “just pull Chiracâs finger, and I can finally find out what happened to Saddams biological weapons. How could it possibly go wrong?” And yet, it did go wrong.
On the bright side, however, Jacque Chirac won 20 Euros off every other member of the EU.
Honorable Mention:
Loon - It was at that precise moment that the president realised that neither of them had any notion of how a light sabre should be operated.
Laurence Simon - In Europe, they call it “Push my finger.”
Crerar - Which one of you boys wants to commit troops to Iraq?
The Monday contest has already started.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“Draw, OK, Chirac you won two out of three, You’re the fastest wienie in the west.”
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping.
First:Laurence Simon - Don’t do what they did in Florida in 2000 with that butterfly ballot staggered list thing. Line up both sides of the ballot evenly and you wonât be waiting two months to get the next pope in office.
Second:Gary and the Samoyeds - So then the Popemobile tries to cut over to pass on the right, but I had my driver cut him off.
Third:Crerar - I swear to God â that bishop over there deliberately bumped me from behind like this.
Honorable Mention:
Rachel Edith - “So, I am trying hard not to appear anxious or interested but I think these qualifications I’ve set out here leave you no choice but to vote for me in the upcoming conclave.”
Anderson - Okay, so my left hand is the altar boy, and my right hand is the priest ⦠now, say again what happens next?
Confederate Yankee - So even though you guys wear those little beanies, you arenât Jewish? How’s that again?
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
Swapping tales of dogfights and fighting evil in general.
“… and you say I’ll get to wear one of those spiffy beanies if I sign up?”
“Are you really sure its OK for us to be discussin’ animal husbandry?”
“And now your $10 has disappeared. . ., say this may help the US economy, how many of you fella’s did you say there was.”
“That church music is pretty good, but I like Marilyn Manson myself.”
The Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
Thursday contest has already started.
About the Author: Rodney has a BS in Computer Science from the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse, back from when people knew what Hollerith cards were, and actually used the toggle switches on the front of computers. He is an IT Manager in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He has been blogging at OTB since November 2004.
