SECDEF SEX TIPS
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James Joyner | Friday, April 11, 2003 |
Andrew Sullivan links this Esquire parody Sex Tips from Donald Rumsfeld from last June. It’s hysterical. A couple favorites:
Dear Secretary Rumsfeld: I keep reading about something called the G-spot, but I can’t seem to find it. Can you tell me where it is? âElizabeth Kaplan, Tacoma, WashingtonSecretary Rumsfeld: I could tell you. But I’m not inclined to.
Dear Secretary Rumsfeld: I’m thinking about trying a threesome, but I don’t know how to approach my girlfriend about it. Have you ever tried a threesome? âDave Barcott, Boulder, Colorado
Secretary Rumsfeld: Nice try, Dave. I can see what you’re trying to do, but you’re going to have to do better than that. Donald Rumsfeld is not going to be tricked into revealing something stupid about Donald Rumsfeld and Mrs. Donald Rumsfeld by such a question. If I answer, then someone will say, “Oh, goodness, the Rumsfelds are into threesomes,” and then it gets repeated and picked up, and then suddenly everybody’s talking about Donald Rumsfeld and Mrs. Donald Rumsfeld and threesomes, and that’s not what this is about. That said, bring it up in a very loving way and let her choose the third party. Also, alcohol never hurts.
Indeed.
About the Author: James Joyner is the publisher of Outside the Beltway and the managing editor of the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer, Desert Storm vet, and college professor with a PhD in political science from The University of Alabama. He lives just outside the Beltway in Alexandria, Virginia.
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